Not To Be Trusted With Knives

It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of corporate jargon.

I’m particularly not a fan of people using nouns as verbs, or verbs as nouns, in an attempt to… actually, I’m not exactly sure what they are attempting to achieve by doing this. Sound smart? Exclude people who aren’t part of their in-crowd from knowing what they are talking about? I mean, why would you say that you are “tasking someone with an ask” when you actually mean to say that you are “asking them to do a task”? I even recently heard someone repeatedly use the word “impacting” as an adjective! (“This can be an impacting strategy!”)¹

So I totally laughed out loud when I saw this – a flow chart of the 12 Days of Corporate Christmas:

Special thanks to Drew from Words, Pictures, Humor for letting me post this on my blog!

1. And don’t even get me started on the word “impact.” I know that it’s not technically incorrect to use the word “impact” as either a noun or a verb but ohfortheloveoftheFSM I hate it so much. So. Much. IMHO, it just comes across like people are trying to sounds smarter by using “impact” every five seconds. Can’t we just use “affect” and “effect,” please? [↩]

Sign from the Restoring Sanity rally:

Props to Dr. Dan, who brought this to my attention after seeing it here, who posted it after they saw it here.

Spotted at BC Women’s Hospital parking lot:

Short on ideas about what to write a blog posting about?  Just start typing something into Google – the auto-complete will usually give you some nice gems to blog about.  Like this one, which I originally typed in to see if I could find out if bugs really do have an affinity for estrogen:

It’s intriguing to me that so many people are curious about the possibility of bug flatulance.

Then I tried to find out if the 8-legged monsters of my nightmares have an affinity for estrogen and got this:

And then I was on a roll, so started typing in random beginnings of sentences and found this gem:

and this display of geographical incompetence:

Not to mention grammatical incompetence.  I mean, really, enough people queried the incorrect “Canada is apart of what country” to make it the number 2 hit?

And finally, because I couldn’t resist:

All the red arrows I can understand, but the green one?  You are very much outnumbered, green.  Also, bonus points for the existential “Ed Hardy is.”

And while I’m on screenshots, here’s one I took while watching the new Harry Potter trailer:

Uh oh, I watched it even though I think I’m an “inappropriate audience” (based on how many times I’ve been told that I’m being inappropriate).

Saw this on the bus on the way to the hockey game yesterday:

Say the name of that outloud.   Couldn’t you go for a serving of “hot ciok” right about now?

While searching Flickr for a photo to go with a posting about “friends,”¹ I came across this bit of hilariousness and I just had to share it with you!

Image Credit: Posted by Laughing Squid on Flickr.

1. which I totally meant to finish writing before I went to the Island this weekend. Now that I’ve gone the Island and took lots of pics with my friends, I shant need a Flickr one after all. But I found this awesomeness, so clearly my searching Flickr for “friends” photos was meant to be!! [↩]

Protect Insurance Companies PSA
Hollywood speaks out to help insurance companies

Props to Kalev for bringing this important public service announcement to my attention!

I <3 Stephen Colbert!

Note: If the above embedded video doesn’t work, you can watch the clip here. If you are Canada anyway. If you are in the US, apparently you can’t watch clips from the Comedy Network (just like we can’t watch clips from Comedy Central). Boo!

Spoiler: Beer pong doesn’t actually give you herpes.  Which I know will come as a relief to a number of my friends.

I’ve been trying for a while to think of a good caption for a lolcat. I finally came up with one that really amuses me:

For the uninitiated, lolcats are pictures of cats with captions in a form of broken English, called lolspeak. These pics are created by whoever is hit with the desire to create a lolcat and posted to the icanhascheezburger website. Interestingly, a number of story lines have sprung up around lolcats, including their deity, Ceiling Cat, and their devil, Basement Cat.  If a lolcat gets enough votes, it goes up on the main page of the site.

You should *totally* go and vote for my lolcat!