Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


Hallelujah, it’s raining squirrels!

I meant to mention this yesterday, but totally forgot what with the sleepiness and all: I didn’t forget to write about the next Prime Minister in my Sunday series on Prime Ministers. Rather, I chose to take the quasi-long weekend holiday off from the series. Sure, Canada Day is Tuesday (tomorrow), so it’s not a real holiday weekend, but I’m pretty sure no one actually went to work today because who wants to work on Monday when Tuesday is a holiday? And the next Prime Minister in my series is Brian Mulroney and I just couldn’t bear to write about him on Canada Day weekend.

In completely unrelated news, a squirrel fell out of a giant tree in my sister’s backyard today. They have this mullberry tree that is constantly dropping berries, so we are used to hearing (or getting hit by) falling berries when we are out there, but something massive (massive relative to the size of a mullberry anyway) fell with a giant thud. And for some reason, my initial reaction was “oh my god, a coconut just fell out of that tree!” Because apparently I think I’m in Hawaii. But the squirrel got up and scurried away; coconuts, not so much with the scurrying.

And, in even more unrelated news, Almost Dr. Dan came up from Guelph to join us for dinner and we went to this vegetarian Indian buffet and I ate so much that I think I’m going to barf. So. Freaking. Good.

So, in conclusion, the Prime Ministerial series will resume next Sunday with an entry on Brian Mulroney; I ate so much Indian food I want to barf; and hallelujah it’s raining squirrels!


I am sleepy

Now, I like to run, but I’m not used to running *everywhere*. And when you hang out with a three-year-old, it’s all about the running. And the jumping. And spinning spinning spinning. And if the three-year-old is running, you best believe that you are running too. If the three-year-old is jumping, then so too shall you jump. And if the three-year-old wants to spin… well, you will be spinning until you fall down. Or maybe it’s just me and I’m a complete sucker and will do anything a three-year-old tells me. Including – if you can believe this – looking at a spider. A SPIDER! “Hey Aunt Beth, come look at this spider!” And I did!

But who can blame me? I mean, look at how cute this kid is:

And now I will go to bed. Because I’m sure I will have a full day of running, jumping, and spinning in circles ahead of me tomorrow.


(no title)

I now forgive Stephen Colbert for what he did to the Hockey Night in Canada theme song.  Because this video was made as part of his “Project Make McCain Exciting“:


Blogger’s Block

Conversation earlier tonight:

My sister:  I’m tired.

Me:            Me too.  But I need to blog something.

My sister:  What are you going to blog about?

Me:            I don’t know.

My sister:  You could blog about how awesome our backyard is.
               Or how about the delicious Thai dinner we had tonight.
               What are you going to blog about?
               You could blog about how you don’t like veggie food items that pretend to be meat.
               Hey, how about how peaceful our backyard is?

I can’t blog under this kind of pressure!

Oh wait, but I do have to tell you about my niece, who I may not have mentioned is the coolest kid ever.  Last night I went out for dinner with my friend Jen in the Po Cred and by the time I got back to my sister’s place, everyone was already asleep.  Including my niece, who was asleep in my bed.  Apparently she had declared “I’m sleeping in Aunt Beth’s bed tonight” and, because it’s too hot to wear pajamas, “I just want to sleep with my body on.” She cracks me up.

I woke up in the morning and she was staring right at me, about an inch from my face.  “Good morning Aunt Beth!  I slept in your bed!”  Too. Freaking. Cute!


A Blog Post in Pictures

Had a burning desire to write a blog post on the plane on my way to Toronto, but there were no electrical outlets in which to plug my laptop. And my laptop battery sucks. Hence, I give you this:

Props to my sister’s bf, Jeff, for (a) lending me his camera to take those pictures and (b) fixing my damn computer and it’s messed up DNS so that I could actually get on to the internets to post this.

Now I will get back to my regularly scheduled lounging in the backyard.



And speaking of grad school, when you are a grad student, you don’t really get vacation.  Sure, you might not run experiments over Christmas holidays and you get to go to the occasional conference, but you are still working.  Or, if you are goofing off, no one’s paying you to do so.  But along with my big girl job comes such things as benefits, like vacation days.  Here’s how I’m planning on spending some of those days off:

Well, I’m not actually taking vacay days for the August stuff (I don’t work Fridays, so I’m doing my lasers in my eyes on a Friday and am supposed to be fine to be back at work on the Monday.  But it still looks to be quite an eventful summer!



Comprehensive exams: com·pre·hen·sive ex·ams

n. an especially cruel form of torture to which Ph.D. students are subjected
—Synonyms 1. comps  2. hell

Props to Erika for passing her comps yesterday!


A Weekend In Pictures

It’s late Monday night and I’m only just now getting around to blogging my weekend… where does the time go? As you know, Friday morning I did the Grind and you don’t know, Friday night I stayed home and did a whole lot of nothing. Honestly, I can’t remember what I did on Friday night. I intentionally stayed home with plans to clean my apartment because (a) I’m going on holiday on Wednesday and I hate coming home to a messy apartment, (b) I figure when you’ve been saying “I can’t even remember the last time I vacuumed” for so long that you don’t remember when you started saying it, that’s a sign it’s really been too long since you vacuumed and (c) sentient lifeforms had started to evolve in my shower. But my mad procrastination skillz took over and I didn’t actually do any cleaning. I know I must have done something, but I really can’t remember what. I’m sure it had something to do with the internets.

Saturday I went to the bank to deal with my big girl investments, which I get to have because I have a big girl job. And then I actually did, in fact, clean. I cleaned the counters in the bathroom & the kitchen. I folded laundry, which had heretofore been sitting in various laundry basket, unfolded, since I did laundry 1, 2 or 3 weeks ago1. I scrubbed the shower. I vacuumed ever inch of carpet. And I swept and mopped the kitchen floor. I knew that you probably wouldn’t believe any of this, so I now provide you with some photographic evidence:

In celebration of my newly cleaned apartment, I went with Rachel & some of her friends to Republic. Republic is a fairly new club on Granville – if memory serves, it just opened up last summer – one that I hadn’t checked out until this weekend. And my assessment of Republic is this: not worth the $18 cover. That’s right, $18 cover. As in 1-8. The club itself was fine – the music was good, if a bit monotonous2 – but the place was a bit small and there were probably 5 girls to ever guy in the place3. And here be the photographic evidence of the night (although I have no idea what Rachel and I are looking at):

Despite being up until the wee hours of the morning, I managed to get myself out of bed and out the door in time to meet Kalev for brunch. And then we decided to check out Greek Day, for which a chunk of West Broadway is closed down to celebrate all things Greek, including, um, cotton candy, bubbles, people on stilts and, um, light sabres?

So, ya, not much really going on for Greek Day. But all was not lost, as we went to see a matinee of Kung Fu Panda. Yay Panda!

Sunday night brought hockey in the form of a hard fought battle against the Rebels, which we lost 4-2. But really 4-3 because we scored this one goal that totally went in but the ref didn’t keep up with play, so didn’t see that it went in and bounced out. Not that we’re bitter or anything.

And then today was a busy day of work, trying to get a bunch of stuff done before I leave for holidays. Did I mention that I get to see my niece, the greatest child ever to grace the earth with her presence?4. And now there’s just one last work day before my trip where I (did I mention?) get to see my niece.  Things I’m looking forward to: actual summer weather, delicious Indian buffet, seeing as many friends as possible in a very short period of time, lunches in the park, going to a pool with a really big slide.  You know you are jealous.

1Um, ya, I do laundry, take it out of the dryer and dump it into a laundry basket, never get around to folding it and just pick through the basketful of clean laundry to find clothes to wear. And then the next week I just dump the newly cleaned clothes on top of whatever as-of-yet unworn clothes were still in said basket. And repeat.
2Somehow they managed to make Sean Kingston, Michael Jackson, Brittany Spears and Bon Jovi all sound exactly the same
3So guys, if you are wondering where all the women are – apparently the answer is Republic on a Saturday night.
4Expect to see copious use of the “aunty blogging” tag here for the next week, btw.


Did you blink? If so, then you missed the tenure of P.M. #17!

Despite the fact that I was actually alive when he was Prime Minister, I don’t know much about John Turner. This is probably explained by the fact that he was the P.M. for 2.5 months when I was 7 years old.a152412.jpg

Name John Napier Wyndham Turner
Born: June 7, 1929 in Richmond, Surrey, England
Died: hasn’t
Party: Liberal
Held Office: June 30, 1984 – September 17, 1984
Best known for: -having the second shortest tenure as a P.M. (after Charles Tupper). In fact, he called an election just 4 days after being sworn into office. The party was decimated in the election, with the Liberal only winning 40 seats (their lowest number ever). In that election, Turner won the seat in Vancouver Quadra (which is *my* riding, btw) and became the leader of the (very small) opposition.-he ran for the Liberal party leadership in 1968 and said, “My time is now,” and that he was “not here for some vague, future convention in say, 1984.” Trudeau won the 1968 leadership convention handily and guess what year it was when the next leadership convention, which Turner won, was held?
Some Things I Didn’t Know About This P.M. -one of his middle names is “Napier,” making him “John Napier” and, as we all1 know, John Napier invented logarithms. John Turner, however, did not invent logarithms.-his wife, Geills McCrae Kilgour is the great-niece of John McCrae, who wrote In Flanders Fields

-in 1965 he rescued former P.M. Diefenbaker who was struggling with the undertow will swimming in Barbados

-he is in the UBC Sports Hall of Fame, having been one of the three fastest men in Canada between 1947-1949

If you are just dying to read more about J.T., check out:

  • a152415.jpg

Image credits:(First photo: Robert Cooper/Library and Archives Canada/PA-152412; second photo: Robert Cooper/Library and Archives Canada/PA-152415; both photos: Restrictions on use: Nil; Copyright: Robert Cooper.

1Where “all” = me & Sarah


If you only see one movie this summer…

See Gay Zombie.

Props to Kalev for passing this along!