Not To Be Trusted With Knives

Happy Belated Father’s Day and other, unrelated Monday news

June 16, 2008 by Beth

I tried to call my Dad for Father’s Day yesterday. Given that he wasn’t at home when I’d called on his birthday¹, I thought it was extra important that I talk to him for Father’s Day. But when I called, the phone line was all super static-y and, from what I could make out amidst the static, Toronto² had some sort of a rainstorm/flood/natural disaster that ruined the phone lines. And my dad wasn’t home.

He did try to call me back upon his return, but the phone line situation had not improved, so the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi Dad!

Dad: <garble> Hello? <garble> <garble>

Me: Hi! Your phone line is really bad! I can hardly hear you.

Dad: <garble> Thank you!! <garble>

Me: Um, Happy Father’s Day?

Dad: I <garble> can’t hear you <garble> <garble> ..alk to you later<garble>

And so I had to resort to this text message. I honestly don’t know if my Dad knows how to deal with text messages³, so I hope he got it. Because I did want him to know that I was wishing him a happy Daddy’s day. Even if he is a Maple Leafs fan.

In unrelated news, this sour cream that I had in my fridge appears to have expired over 1000 years ago:

It passed the sniff test, though, so I think it’s OK. I mean, it’s already SOUR cream.  What’s it going to do, get more sour? 😉

In also unrelated news, my 3-game point streak ended with last night’s 6-1 loss. I blame the fact that I re-taped my stick and clearly my good luck must have been in the old stick tape, ragged as it was. I have to say that, despite what the score says, we played a good game… there were 44 shots against us, so our goalie, Megs, did a wicked good job in net. And I drew a penalty when someone just couldn’t keep up with my mad puck handling skillz and hooked me, sending me down and spinning into the boards. Plus, we only had 7 skaters for half the game. Memorable quotations from last night’s game include:

• Why is that girl walking off with a bra from the bench? and
• I don’t have any socks and I’m not wearing any underwear.

And, in my final bit of unrelated news, I’ve discovered the secret to being productive after work: don’t sit down. Usually when I get home from work I sit down on the couch to “relax” and “unwind” for a few minutes. Maybe play a few moves on Scrabulous. And then I don’t get up. Dishes pile up. Laundry remains unwashed. Cupboards remain bare. Dinner consists of a nuked burrito⁶. But since it was so sunny out today, when I got home I didn’t sit down, I quickly changed into some running clothes to get out for a run in the sun. And I ended my run at the grocery store, so I could pick up some grub, what with the cupboards being bare and all. And, you know how they say you shouldn’t grocery shop when you are hungry? Well, when you had an apply for breakfast, a light lunch and haven’t yet had dinner AND just ran 5 km – doubly so. I bought sooo many groceries I could barely carry them all home⁷. On the plus side, since I’d just been for a run, I was totally craving fruits and veggies, so at least it was all healthy food. Once I got home with my many, many groceries, I was sooo starving that I still didn’t sit down – I immediately began to cook. And not only did I cook myself some tasty veggies tacos (with 1000-year-old sour cream), but I also sautéed a bunch of veggies to supplement the leftover pasta that I made yesterday for my lunches this week. As my taco veggie mix simmered, I put away the groceries. And then I ate said tacos, and did the dishes. And put all my scattered laundry into a laundry bucket⁹. And prepared the coffeemaker for tomorrow morning’s coffee¹⁰. And then I made some tea. And *then* I sat down. And now I’ve written this nice long, super-footnoted posting.  So there you have it folks, not sitting down is the secret to my post-work productivity.

¹I left a “happy bday” message with my mom, but it’s just not the same
²Well, Toronto suburbs, anyway
³My sister⁴ got him and my Mom cell phones two Christmases ago that they use “for emergencies only,” so I have no idea if they text or not.
⁴She is the good daughter. The one who gave them a grandchild and cell phones. And a computer (for Dad) and a fur coat (for Mom). I’m the one who can’t even complete a phone call for birthdays or parent celebration days.
⁵One girl showed up about halfway through the second period because she was stuck in wicked traffic, so we had 8 skaters after that.
⁶This may or may not be an exaggeration.
⁷Part of this was due to the fact that my favourite organic, fair-trade Bolivian coffee was on extra good sale⁸, so I had to buy 3 bags of it. And part of it was due to the fact that they now have those little baskets for putting your groceries in when you are in the store that have wheels and a long handle. So you wheel them around as you fill them up, never realizing how freaking heavy it will all be until you are done checking out.
⁸Instead of the standard $1.50 off the “regular” price that it usually is, it was $4 off!
⁹And I would have done the laundry, too, if only my landlords weren’t already using the washing machine.
¹⁰This is the one and only task that I *always* make sure to do, no matter what other chores I ignore.

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