Not To Be Trusted With Knives

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Stupidest Tongue Injury Ever

Picture it. I’m sitting in my office, chewing some gum and, out of nowhere, I bite my tongue. But not only do I bite my tongue – oh no, that wouldn’t be ridiculous enough. I bite my tongue so hard that it bleeds. Profusely.

You’d think that with 31 years experience, I’d be able to have my own tongue in my own mouth without biting it.  You’d think.

I would like to point out, in case you are ever considering biting your tongue so hard that it bleeds, that it’s very difficult to put pressure on one’s tongue in order to stop profuse bleeding.  I mean, I grabbed a tissue and applied pressure, but then the tissue just all sticks to your tongue and it’s all “Ick, I’m eating a Kleenex now!  A bloody Kleenex from my profusely bleeding tongue.”

Also from the too much information department, some photos of said injury:

Today’s episode of stupidity has been brought to you by the letter I1

1as in, I am a jackass.

3 Responses to Stupidest Tongue Injury Ever

  1. gillicious says:

    Once in a while I manage to bite my lip and if I’m super lucky it becomes a canker sore that ruins my life for 1-2 weeks. I don’t know, I think it’s just too hard to coordinate all the parts of the mouth and not have accidents once in a while. Or get your foot stuck in it.

  2. Raul says:

    Ouchie 🙁

  3. Pingback: Battle of the Gum Packages « Not To Be Trusted With Knives

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