Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


R.I.P. Torsopants

Yesterday, I received an email telling me about the untimely demise of Torsopants:

It is with great sadness that I announce, at the urging of Bilderberg, that I am closing the doors at at midnight December 23rd, 2008. I cannot get into complete details, but my higher masters have told me that my mission will be changing over the next few months and this is the first step in a series of movements I will make in my life to fulfill the prophecy that is Sunshine Megatron.1

This is very sad, as Torsopants is where I purchased one of my most favourite shirts:

DSC_5062 by you.

Here we are enjoying delicious lemon fake “chicken” at Lucky Creation in San Francisco:

IMG_3750 by you.

Oh, those were happy times, before my beloved T-shirt’s homeland was on the brink of death.  Poor T-shirt.

Now I’m trying to decide if I should buy this one2 before the 23rd:


Or possible this one:

with this arrow

Or this one:

words on a shirt

1For the record, they always say weird stuff like that in their emails. The fish.
2It’s funny because you have to look it up in the dictionary.

10 Responses to R.I.P. Torsopants

  1. Kalev says:


  2. Darren says:

    “Words on a Shirt” is definitely the best. And I’m proud to say that I didn’t have to look up ‘solipsistic’. That one Philosophy of Religion course I took at university has finally paid off.

  3. Beth says:

    I spent all my philosophy credits on critical thinking and biomedical ethics. So “solipsistic” required a dictionary for me. And then I laughed and laughed.

  4. Sarah says:

    I, too, love “Words on a Shirt”. Early holiday present to yourself, perhaps?

  5. Rebecca says:

    I admit, I had to look up “solipsistic” as well. And also laughed and laughed!

  6. Kelly says:

    The shirt you are wearing is freaking amazing. Me want.

  7. Geo says:

    I am very sad to hear of this as well; I have “Words on a shirt” and my favorite; “Pancakes”…Where will we go for our non-sequitor wear now?

  8. Chris says:

    I am sad that Words On A Shirt is no longer available. 🙁

    However, This Is Awesome and I Am Not A Duck still are. Were, if I ordered the last one of either.

  9. My Native American Name is Steve says:

    I got my order in…

    I told you so will be here first part of next week.

  10. Pingback: Not To Be Trusted With Knives

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.