Hockey Hotties – Playoff Check-In
While I’m still not over my beloved Canucks being knocked out of the playoffs by the evil that is the Chicago Blackhawks, I figured the end of round 2 would be a good place to check in on how the hotties are doing.
| Name | Team | Goals | Assists | Notes |
| Mattias Ohlund | Vancouver | 1 | 2 | top scorers on Vancouver were the Sedin twins. Who happen to be very, very fugly. |
| Zach Parise | New Jersey | 3 | 3 | top scorer on his team |
| Sidney Crosby | Pittsburgh | 12 | 9 | top scorer in the playoffs so far! Hot on and off the ice! |
| Kris Letang | Pittsburgh | 3 | 6 | tied for fourth in points on his team |
| Jarome Iginla | Calgary | 3 | 1 | tied for second in points on his team. Getting knocked out in the first round, though, really hampers one’s ability to score points. |
| Joffrey Lupul | Philly | 1 | 1 | Hmm. Not so impressive. He’s lucky he’s cute. |
| Marcus Naslund | NY Rangers | 1 | 2 | tied for third on his team in points. His team didn’t score many points. |
| Mike Komisarek | Montreal | 0 | 0 | Ouch. |
| Georges Laraque | Montreal | 0 | 0 | Double ouch. Montreal hotties – you let me down!! |
| Jonathan Toews | Chicago | 4 | 6 | third on his team in points. |
| Patrick Kane | Chicago | 8 | 4 | second on his team in points |
So my team collectively has 36 goals and 34 assists for a total of 70 points. And my goalie, Martin Biron of Philly, made 198 saves with 16 goals against, had a .919 save percentage with 2 wins and 4 losses. How does this compare to other fantasy hockey teams. I have no idea. Anyone out there in a hockey pool where you had to pick 11 players and a goalie? If so, let us know whether 70 is a goodly number of points or if it sucks.
Now, for the next round of the playoffs, I only have four players left!
- Sidney Crosby – Centre – Pittsburgh
- Kris Letang – Defense – Pittsburgh
- Jonathan Toews – Centre – Chicago
- Patrick Kane – RW – Chicago
Two on Pittsburgh, two on Chicago. Which is, conveniently, one team from the East and one team from the West. And I have no hotties from the other remaining teams (Detroit and Carolina). So that makes my prediction for the Stanley Cup Finals easy – Penguins v. Blackhawks. You heard it here first.
Of course, I have mixed emotions about all this. I mean, Kane and Toews1 are pretty damn hot. But since they beat my beloved Canucks, they clearly are evil incarnate. I think I will ease my discomfort around these issues by looking at these pretty pictures of my hotties:
Sidney.
Kris.
Jonathan.
And more Jonathan.
Jon and Pat.
Ah, pictures of hotties. It doesn’t bring my Canucks back to life this post-season, but it’s a nice distraction all the same.
1Pronounced “Taves,” for some reason. That’s something I noticed in the Canucks-Blackhawks series – everyone on Chicago has either a name that is spelled some really fucking weird way, like “Toews” pronounced as “Taves” or “Byfuglien” pronounced as “Buff-a-lin”2 or freaking “Hjalmarsson”… or there name is a very simple, common word: Sharp, Kane, Ladd, Eager!
2Seriously, man, how the hell do you get “Buff-a-lin” out of Byfuglien??
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Incidentally, your hotties would have paced you about mid-table in my hockey pool–strong work!
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