Dear Gmail,

Anything sent by EWjsfnoi@unLKANSWFLK.com is spam. Same goes for gYhlaSdfn@BhcbhjKLjeFN.com. Also, hgoijfvn@ncakld.com. Spam.  Trust me. Spam.



Dear Guy Driving The Truck Behind,

See all that glass around you? That’s called “windows.” We can see through that. We do not want to see you pick your nose, look at your finger, then flick it out the window. Also, you are driving a work truck. With the name of your company on it in GIANT LETTERS. I am so never getting my gutters cleaned by your business. Should I ever have gutters.



Dear Random Phone Number That Texted Me The Lone Word “Hottie,”

Um, thanks?  Or you have the wrong number.

Kind regards,


Dear Heat Rash,

I thought I left you in Ontario. I’m just not that into you.

Unkind regards,


Dear WordPress,

Why won’t you render my <hr />?  Is it my theme or is it you? Just, why?

Also, please stop stripping my non-breaking spaces from my HTML.      &nbsp; FORVER!!!!



Dear Me At About 21 Hours Into Blogathon,

You forgot a question mark. And some letters.

You’re welcome,

Me Today

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