I got into my car this morning and started driving to work. And then some movement near the driver’s side visor caught my attention. Can you guess what it was? That’s right, it was a freaking *spider*! A horrible little yellow and black striped one, soulless and vile! Thankfully, my dad always taught me to take extra napkins from fast food joints and keep them in the glove compartment1, so I was able to pull over, jump out of the car armed with a napkin and then carefully reach in and squash the little bugger to death.
Then, when I got home from work, guess what was hanging from my freaking front door handle? A big stupid black 8-legged beast! Gah!
All this, of course, just proves that there really is a spider conspiracy going on. I mean, no sooner did I reveal this spider conspiracy on my blog and they sent not just one, but two assassins after me.
I’m kind of afraid to go to sleep tonight.
- has anyone *ever* kept actual gloves in the glove compartment of their car? [↩]