Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese

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Shea Weber Looks Like A Serial Killer

Is it just me, or does Shea Weber, captain of the evil Nashville Predators, look *a lot* like serial killer Dexter Morgan?

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the team Weber plays for is called the “Predators.”

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Happy Weekend

I submitted a grant application today.

More specifically, I submitted *this* grant application today:

Day 312

It may look small, but I can assure you that many, many hours of time and much blood, sweat and tears went into the crafting of that baby. And, if I do say so myself, it is made of sheer awesome. AWESOME I say!

It is also the first grant application I’ve submitted in *advance* of the deadline! It’s due in Ottawa on Tuesday, but I couriered it out today. Pretty proud of that fact.

And now I can truly enjoy the weekend!

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Really?

I saw this on the menu at Milestones the other day.

This is sad

I can just picture the evil marketers who came up with this one. “Hmm, how can we profit from people’s heartbreak?”

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The Return of The Cursed Chocolate Bar

Long time readers of NTBTWK may remember the tale of the cursed chocolate bar. For those who don’t, let me explain. Back in the NHL playoffs of ’07…. oh hell, here’s a cut-and-paste job from my blog posting at the time:

I nearly had a heart attack watching tonight’s game! It had been very frustrating to watch my boys lose the last two games, where they could have ended the series, but didn’t, resulting in tonight winner-take-all matchup. Then it occurred to me what the problem was… my chocolate bar was cursed. Two games ago, I was watching the game with a bunch of friends at two of my friends’s apartment and during the intermission between the third period and OT, a couple people decided to go to the store for snacks and I got a big bar of dark Swiss chocolate. It was quite delicious, but certainly more than I could eat in one sitting. We lost that game in OT, and then we lost the next game. I had eaten some more of the chocolate bar over the past few days, but still had quite a bit left when this game started. I started to have an inkling that my chocolate bar might be cursed, preventing the Canucks from winning, but when Dallas scored first in tonight’s game, I decided it was time to take action. I ate the rest of the bar. And shortly after finishing said bar, the Canucks scored. Did I ever mention that I’m supersititious?

Thanks to me devouring the cursed chocolate bar, the good guys prevailed and the bad guys… well, they got sent back to Dallas.

Fast forward to this year. The Canucks are up 3-0 in their series against the hated Chicago Blackhawks and then they lose game 4… and 5… and 6. Things look dire. My sista from another prime minista is worried. The following conversation occurs on Twitter:

twitter conversation

That’s right folks. ANOTHER cursed chocolate bar! And this one was *hiding* from me – it’s just *that* insidious!

sydney_home_lindt

This is not a photo of the ACTUAL cursed chocolate bar, but rather a photo of one that looks like it that I found on Flickr, because I thought you all needed to be forewarned about possible chocolate bar curses. I didn’t waste any time photographing the actual cursed chocolate bar as it was CRITICAL that I devour that item as quickly as possible. Also, I didn’t want anything of that cursed chocolate bar to exist – not even a photo! I wolfed down the remainder of that freaking chocolate bar so fast that I thought I would barf1! But I knew that barfing was not an option, as that would mean the chocolate was not destroyed. Barfing was not an option!

Mercifully, the destruction of the cursed chocolate bar worked and my beloved Canucks triumphed over the evil Chicago Blackhawks last night! And the city rejoiced2!!

Also, while talking about my superstitiousness3, I should point out that there were two good omens yesterday that foretold of the glorious Canucks victory.

First, there was a freaking double rainbow in Vancouver4!

What does it mean?

What does it mean? It means Canucks victorious, bitches!

The second was an omen that was revealed only to me. Earlier in the day while at work, I was listening to the radio and the song Combat Baby by Metric came on. I even tweeted it: “♫ Combat Baby! Said you would never give up easy! ♫” And as I listened to that line, I realized that my Canucks would never give up easy. And, knowing that my iPod is sentient, I got it in my head that I needed to hear Combat Baby as I drove to Alicia’s place for the game. But I couldn’t intentionally play it – it had to show up in my shuffle. And would you believe that not only did my Bellatrix5 play Combat Baby for me while I listened on shuffle, but it played it when I was 3 minutes and 32 seconds away from arriving at Alicia’s! As I was driving up Davie Street to her place and Rihanna’s Only Girl in the World was coming to an end, I said aloud, “Come on, Bellatrix! Play Combat Baby!” And no word of a lie, at that exact moment, Combat Baby started. True fucking story. And I knew at that moment that my Canucks were destined to win.

Image Credits:

  1. Granted, I was so anxious about the game even before I found the chocolate bar, I felt like I was going to barf []
  2. Honestly, I watched the game at my friend Alicia’s place in Yaletown and the atmosphere in the city was exactly like when we won the Olympic gold medal in men’s hockey last year! There was yelling and cheering and horns honking and it all went well into the night []
  3. Yes, I am a superstitious atheist. And no, that does not make any sense. Your point? []
  4. Full disclosure: I didn’t actually see the double rainbow, but read about it on blogs and Twitter afterwards []
  5. Bellatrix being my iPhone’s name []

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12 km, my least favourite number of km

So, I may have mentioned that I’m training for yet another half marathon. The training plan I’m following involves running your “long run” on Sundays1 and the length of the long run gets longer pretty much every week. It starts off with what I’d consider a short run – 7 km – and you do that for three weeks, followed by two weeks of 9 km runs, then two weeks of 10 km runs. And then, we hit my least favourite run of all the runs – the dreaded 12 km!

Why do I dread the 12 km run? Well, I’ve found that throughout all my training, I’m totally content with the long runs up to 10 km and once I hit 16 km, I’m fine with that too. But 12 km always kicks my ass. I think what happens is my brain just can’t seem to mentally prepare itself for a 12 km distance. 7, 9 and 10 km are good solid runs, but not what either my brain nor my body consider “long,” given the number of times I’ve run 16+ km runs. But 12 km is a distance where my brain and my body are not on the same page. No matter how many times I tell my brain “12 km is a good long distance! You are going to be out there running for more than an hour!”, it just won’t listen to me. It’s like “Whatevs, Beth. Easy peasy.” And then I get out there and run and run and run and my body goes, “WTF? Why are we still running? DO NOT LIKE!”

I have a similar thing happen with 14 km runs, but I think the 12 km run is worse because my brain knows “Even after you finish this stupid, stupid 12 km, next week you have to do a stupid, stupid 14 km and you are going to hate it too!” But at the end of the 14 km the following week, I know that my brain will resign itself to the fact that we are, in fact, doing long runs and so the 16 km run the following week is all well and good. I know, my brain is weird.

  1. or, in the case of this week where I had Monday off work, on Monday! []

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Tokyo Police Club at the Commodore

As I mentioned the other day, I won tickets on Miss 604.com to the Tokyo Police Club show at the Commodore on Saturday. I took my friend Lianna with me and, in addition to the show, our tickets also got us into a Meet & Greet backstage with the band1.

Before the Meet & Greet started, Lianna and I grabbed some dinner – and I was quite disappointed to learn that The Commodore won’t serve you a side of fries. Seriously. They make fries, but you can’t buy them only their own – only with their burger! What gives, Commodore? Fortunately, Lianna happened to get the burger, which was ginormous and so she couldn’t finish her fries – so I did! Next we met up with my friend Theresa and her friend (as it just so happened that they were also at the show), but then Lianna and I went off to the Meet & Greet and after we were done that, we didn’t see them again, which was not all that surprising given that it was a sold out show, so the place was packed!

For the Meet & Greet, we were told to meet up at the door to the backstage, where we were given “Special Experience” badges and let in to the backstage area2. The band seemed like a pretty nice bunch of guys, but holy awkward situation Batman3. No one had any idea what to do, so everyone just introduced themselves and made awkward chit chat (during which I, of course, insulted the Toronto Maple Leafs – given that they are from Toronto – and they conceded that yes, they Leafs are, in fact, beyond all hope) and then we did some awkward photos and got the hell out of dodge.

Tokyo Police Club - Backstage Meet & Greet

Me and Lianna and Tokyo Police Club. That’s the San Jose Sharks game on the TV in the background.

The one thing I did learn from the Meet & Greet was that after this tour, the band is going to stick around Toronto to work on their next album. They haven’t decided what studio to record it in, but they all live in T.O., so that’s where they’ll be writing. So, yeah, you heard it here first, y’all.

The show itself started off with opening bands Toronto-basedDinosaur Bones:

Dinosaur Bones at the Commodore

and then Vancouver’s own Said the Whale:

Said The Whale at the Commodore

both of whom were pretty good. Note: I am not a music critic and “they were pretty good” is probably the most insightful review you can get out of me. For what it’s worth, I did just go to iTunes and buy Said the Whale’s album. So that’s something.

Then Tokyo Police Club came on4 – and I really liked them too.

Tokyo Police Club at the Commodore

Tokyo Police Club at the Commodore

For the encore, TPC came out with this giant cat:

Tokyo Police Club (with a giant cat) at the Commodore

And then k-os5 showed up too and they did a cover of Kayne West’s Runaway. Here’s a video of it that someone else took and put up on YouTube6:

  1. We were supposed to go to the Sound Check, but I got a call earlier in the day to say that they couldn’t do that anymore, so we were invited to a Meet & Greet backstage instead. []
  2. FYI – The backstage area isn’t nearly as nice as I would have expected! Pretty boring, in fact. []
  3. I later talked to another woman who was also at the Meet & Greet and she said that she’s been to several of these and they are always awkward []
  4. I would like to point out that my photo taking was less than ideal, such that I didn’t even get one good shot of all of TPC on stage. I was spending more time enjoying the music than worrying too much about photos though, so I think that’s OK. []
  5. Who I also didn’t managed to take a picture of, given my aforementioned half-assed photo taking. []
  6. The sound’s not the greatest, but what can you do? []

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National Organ & Tissue Donor Awareness Week

The organization I work for has a twice per week e-newsletter to keep people informed about the goings on of the organization, including important events and suchlike. When I opened this Thursday’s e-newsletter, there was a familiar face right at the top:

Organ & Tissue Donor Awareness Week

You may recognize that beautiful redhead as Eva Markvoort, the woman featured in the documentary 65_redroses (which I blogged about recently) and as the woman featured on the poster for the Longest Game for Cystic Fibrosis:

Eva’s likeness, in this case, is part of the promotion of National Organ & Tissue Donor Awareness Week (April 18-24). So, in the spirit of promoting awareness, here are a few facts about organ donation (take from the BC Transplant website):

  • There is a chronic shortage of hearts, lungs, kidneys and livers for transplant in BC as the need far outweighs the number of organs available for transplant. There are more than 300 British Columbians currently awaiting organ transplants and hundreds more awaiting corneal transplants.
  • Some organs that could be available for transplant are lost because the decision of the loved one is not known by their family.
  • Many of those waiting for a solid organ transplant die while waiting for a suitable transplant.
  • Survival rates of transplant patients continue to improve, providing recipients with an extended and high quality of life.
  • Transplants are cost-effective. For those with kidney disease, the average cost of dialysis treatment is $50,000 a year. By comparison, the one-time cost of a kidney transplant in BC is approximately $20,000, with an additional yearly cost of about $6,000 for anti-rejection medications.
  • Since 1968, when the first kidney transplant was performed in BC, more than 4,700 transplants have been performed in BC.
  • 1999 was the first year where more living donor kidney transplants were performed than deceased donor kidney transplants.

You can register as an organ donor at transplant.bc.ca and you can like them on Facebook .

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Buckley’s FTW

Woke up with a bit of a sore throat this morning. But, as you may recall from yesterday’s posting, I have a show to go to!

Tokyo Police Club tix

Tickets to see Tokyo Police Club at the Commodore tonight. You know you are jealous!

So, it was Buckley’s Mixture to the rescue. Seriously, that stuff is a miracle worker.

Also, I can’t take Buckley’s Mixture without thinking about this old blog posting that I wrote back in ’08: Buckley’s Mixture Looks Like Semen

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Four Day Weekend

Man, I love Vancouver when it’s sunny out! I mean, I love Vancouver all the time1, but when it’s sunny it is 27 times as awesome! And when its sunny on a holiday, I’m in heaven! Unlike a typical Friday, which I’d spend in my windowless office, hoping that someone will have found an excuse to bring in cake for afternoon break2, I spent today eating brunch, walking along the seawall in Yaletown, and then doing some window shopping along Robson. Despite the crowds of slow-walkers, it was pretty awesome.

Tomorrow night I’m going to see Tokyo Police Club at The Commodore, thanks to a contest that I entered on Miss604.com! And not only do we get to see the concert, but we also get to go to the sound check party! You know you are jealous.

I’m also sure I’ll throw a few runs in there3 and, unfortunately, I need to actually do some work4. Though working on awesome creative stuff in a coffee shop on a sunny day is not so bad, really.

I hope you are all enjoying the long weekend!

  1. Yes, even in the rain! []
  2. Which, honestly, happens about every other Friday. I don’t actually take coffee breaks unless there is free cake. []
  3. I think my long run this weekend needs to be 12 km. My least favourite number of kms []
  4. as I have a grant application due May 3rd that’s not going to write itself. Plus I need to do some work on my super secret project that I can’t tell you about because then I’d have to kill you []

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Looks Like I Can Add “Blogging Conference Panelist” To My CV

nv-left.pngSo, it looks like I’ll be at panelist at this year’s Northern Voice conference. After three years of attending1, I’ve finally decided to actually take part in one of the sessions. But it’s not related to NTBTWK – rather, I’m on a panel of science bloggers in a session called “The Naked Truth: Canadian Science Blogging Scene” based on my blogging over at my science nerd blog. My fellow panelists for this session are:

and the panel will be moderated by Lisa Johnson of the CBC.

So if you are going to be at Northern Voice this year, be sure to come and check us out!

  1. Out of the last four years. I didn’t attend in 2009 as I had bucket loads of work that I had to get done, but I was working at the UBC campus, where the conference is held, so I kind of felt like I was there []