Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


Flat Tire Is Flat

So when I got to work this morning, one of my coworkers, who was also just arriving, rushed up to my car. “You have a flat tire!” she said. And flat it was!

Flat tire is flat

Now, you may have noticed that Smart cars are very small. But did you know that they are so small that they don’t come with a spare tire, because there is really nowhere to put it? So I called the “Smart Move Assistance” line – that’s the name of the roadside assistance that comes with your Smart car. The guy on the phone told me that since Smart cars don’t have spare tires, they’d have to call a tow truck driver to take me to the dealership to get it fixed or replaced. I was *supposed* to be going to Langley today to run a couple of focus groups, so I had a bit of a scramble calling a manager to get her to contact the attendees – the list of whom I had to find in my email on the web browser on my phone – to tell them *not* to go to Langley, since I wouldn’t be able to get there. Because *of course* this couldn’t happen on a day when I didn’t need to drive somewhere.

So the tow truck driver showed up and put my poor baby car onto his truck, like so:

Poor baby Zaphod

I opted to go with the tow truck driver to the dealership, because I really didn’t have another way to get to the dealership to pick up my car1. Plus, since there was to have been a bit of spare time in between the two focus groups that I was intending to go to, I had some work in my bag that I could work on while I waited, so it didn’t really matter much if I was doing that at the dealership or in my office.

Now, the tow truck driver was an interesting fellow. First, he was freaked out that I was in such a “dangerous” area full of “crackheads” and “did you see all the hookers just over there?” I was at King George Boulevard2 and 72nd, which, for my readers who are not from Surrey3, isn’t exactly the scariest part of town. I mean, I go there every day for work and have never felt the least bit scared4. Also, there is a police station within spitting distance. But apparently he figured he arrived just in time to save my life. During the brief drive to the dealership, he managed to fit in several rants, including one about his ex-wife who is now engaged to his ex-best friend and one about Asian drivers5.

At the dealership, I learned that replacing one measly Smart car tire costs almost $300! WTF? That’s a lot of dollars! They did clean and vacuum my car, which is something that I’ve been meaning to do since forever. So procrastination FTW!

Terrible "cappuccino"

Terrible “cappuccino” from the machine at the dealership.


What I was reading while I waited for my car to be fixed.

While I was there, I also asked about the cost of a Smart car bike rack, given that I’m seriously considering buying a bike. Would you believe that a bike rack for my Smart, including installation, costs nearly $1000?!6.

And to think just this morning I was thinking “I have no idea what to blog about today!” Be careful what you wish for, Bethy!

  1. I mean, I suppose I could have asked a coworker for a ride, but my coworkers are all very busy! []
  2. of Broken Dreams []
  3. i.e., all of my readers []
  4. Except that one time I decided to go to the nearby liquor store on a Friday evening. That time, I did think I was going to be murdered []
  5. Bitterness *and* racism! Together at last! []
  6. This prompted me to do some Googling this evening and I discovered that you can buy a bike rack designed for Smart cars that you can install yourself. Will still probably run me several hundred, but not a thousand! []


Random Stuff I’ve Cooked

As you know, I like to cook. I also like to take photos of the stuff that I cook under the misguided notion that I’ll actually get around to writing blog postings about said cooking.

Instead, here’s a bunch of random photos of stuff I’ve cooked over the last eleventy months that I never got around to blogging about:

Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

Before baking:


After baking:


Apple Bread:

Apple Bread

Kick Ass Tofu Recipe That My Friend Kim Taught Me:

Dish on the right, contains soy sauce. Dish on the left – crushed almonds + spices.


You dip your slices of extra firm tofu in the soy sauce, then in the almonds and spices, like so:


Then pan fry:



My Attempt At Eggplant:

Mix up cornmeal, chili powder, marjoram, & salt:


Dip in your slices of eggplant (which you’ve already let sit covered in salt to remove the bitterness, then rinsed):


Then pan fry. I have to admit this was only so-so. But eggplant is tough to get right, so I think I just need to do more experimenting.

Kick Ass Quinoa & Chickpea Dish

Also a recipe that I got from Kim:


“Chicken” Pot Pie:

Before baking:


After baking:


Looks meh, but tastes awesome!


Because I Am Nothing If Not An Attention Whore

Updated on May 30, 2011: Because there is now a YouTube video to embed. And I have new things to say.

So the other day, Lisa Johnson1 from the CBC tweeted, “Hockey fans who watch in pubs: is your Canucks support playing havoc with a healthy lifestyle?” Naturally, being a fan of both hockey and the CBC2, I replied, “Yes! I don’t think I’ve ever drank so much beer and ate so many French fries in my life!” and “Also, I’m running a half marathon in June and my training is certainly suffering as there’s no time to fit in a run on game nights!” Because, seriously, these playoffs have turned me into a total beer consuming machine! Beer didn’t used to be my drink of choice, but something about these last few rounds has had me consuming beer like there is no tomorrow! Anyway, this Twitter exchange led to a few emails and an invitation to join Lisa and a few other for lunch at the Lennox!

The result: this awesome story, which aired on the CBC news on Friday night after the Boston-Tampa Bay game:

Which you can also see at:

Note: To see the video, follow the link above and click on the play button on the image. Some people have mistaken it for just a photo rather than a video.

I think my favourite part of the whole story was Dennis’ description of what he eats during a typical playoff game.

As soon as the story ended, my phone exploded with calls, texts, emails, tweets and Facebook messages. Attention whoredom: achieved!

A few other things worth pointing out:

First, here is the answer to the question I received from a few people when I posted the link to this story on Twitter yesterday:


Next, and probably less interesting than the boob question, when I watched the story on the news that night, I was very thrilled with the open shot, yelling out “That’s my hand!!!”:

CBC News

Also, I am pleased that I am forever immortalized by the CBC as “Beth Snow, Canucks Fan”:

CBC News 2

And finally, I don’t have anything of import to say about this final screen shot, but I thought I looked good here!

CBC News 1

Also, that beer was delicious.

Update on May 30, 2011: In addition to my phone exploding with calls/texts/emails on Friday night, apparently a lot of my coworkers watched the CBC News 3 because all day today long I was met with comments like “Hey! I saw you on the news!” and “Hello TV star!” and “Why didn’t they say *you* are a nutritionist??!!” And when I went to get my afternoon coffee at the little coffeeshop across the road from my office, the coffeeshop owner said, “You were on the news! I had it on the TV [points at the big TV]4 and I said, “That’s my customer!!”” Steve Buscemi’s doppelgänger, however, said nothing.

  1. Coincidentally, Lisa moderated the panel of science bloggers that I was on at Northern Voice. Note to self: weren’t you going to blog about that? []
  2. And, admittedly, an attention whore. I figured this meant Lisa would be doing a story on this topic and replying was a good way of throwing my name in the hat! []
  3. I may or may not have sent an email to the entire office on Friday suggesting that they *should* watch the CBC News. But I digress. []
  4. The big flatscreen TV that he has put into the coffeeshop during the playoffs and which only shows sports, I might add []


My Office Door As Facebook-Like Wall

At work, my coworkers all have their doors decorated. Some people bought these fancy stick-on decorations, while the more crafty of my colleagues created their own works of art. And for a long time, I kept thinking to myself, “One of these days, I really should put something on my door. It’s so boring!” Eventually, I got off my butt, went to the dollar store and bought some stick-on letters and some stick-on birds and decorated my door thusly:


My office used to be a clinic room, hence the sign that says
“Clinic” and the “In Use/Not In Use” indicator. 

Prior to decorating my door, I would sometimes sticky notes on my door indicating where I am/what I’m up to – usually this is just when I’m on teleconferences, so people won’t come in while I’m doing my office yoga.

I pretty soon realized that having my name on the door…


…meant that putting on the sticky note made my door look somewhat like a Facebook status update:


Which then prompted me to make a few other sticky note statuses:





My New Cage

So apparently I’m on a kick of buying sports related stuff. In addition to my new insoles, last week I finally broke down and bought myself a new face protector for my hockey helmet. All of my playing career, I’ve worn a clear plastic full visor, like this:

Helmet with old face protector

The one shown above is actually my second such visor – the first one never really fit properly and got way too scratched up and so I had to buy a replacement. As you know, I’m a big fan of safety equipment when it comes to sports, and I wouldn’t dream of playing without a full face protector of some sort – I’m just way too pretty to risk my beautiful, beautiful looks. Plus, I’ve been hit in the visor enough time with sticks and pucks to ever think it would be a good idea not to wear one! Especially since I got my braces. It seems like ever since I got them, I get hit in the face every time I play!

When I got my braces, I started wearing a mouth guard1, but I found that when I got off the ice and took out my mouth guard (as in, I took it out of my mouth, but it’s still contained inside my face shield) to drink water, my face shield immediately fogged up something terrible. And no amount of “anti-fog spray” used before the game would prevent it. This is a bit of a problem, especially if we don’t have a lot of players and I have to get back out onto the ice really quickly – there’s not enough time to drink water, get my mouth guard back in and also wipe away the fog!

And so it was off to Canadian Tire I went to buy this:

New cage for my helmet.

I found the claim on the tag a bit unlikely though:

"Vision enhancing?" Really?

“Vision enhancing”? A cage right in your line of sight is “vision enhancing”? I highly doubt that!

Anyway, after much fighting with my helmet, I finally managed to get the thing installed:

New cage for my helmet

I’ve only worn it to two games, but so far I like it. It took a bit of getting used to – I found that in the first game I wore it, a few times when I jumped out on the ice it seemed like all I could see was the cage! But you really quickly are able to focus on the game and then you barely notice the cage at all. By the second game, it was like it’s wasn’t even there! And it’s just *so* nice to not having anything fogging up anymore!

I also tried out my insoles that I bought for my running shoes in my hockey skates for last night’s game and I freaked loved it! I think I may need to head back to Kintec to buy a second pair!

And lately I’ve been seriously considering buying a bike! I think maybe I’ll go bike shopping this weekend…

  1. An aside: the reason I never wore a mouth guard before my braces was because I thought they were solely meant to protect your teeth and I always figure that my teeth were fine because I wore a full face protector. But I have since learned that mouth guards are also meant to help prevent concussions, because apparently when you get hit in the head but you are biting down on a mouth guard, it absorbs some of the shock []


Happy World Planking Towel Wine Geek Pride Day!

So apparently everyone decided that May 25th makes a really good day for a holiday. As outlined by Dr. Dan over on Consumed by Wanderlust, May 25th is:

After he published that posting, however, he discovered that it is also:

In honour of Towel Day, I, naturally, brought a towel to work. Here I am in the parkade, with the aptly named Zaphod Beeblebrox the Car:

Day 338

In honour of World Planking Day, I planked on the ice before my hockey game:

Hockey Planking

In honour of Geek Pride Day, well, doesn’t planking and carrying a towel prove my geekiness?

And now, of course, it’s time for a glass of wine!



Day 337

Why yes, I always dress like this at the office. Doesn’t everyone?

We beat the Chicago Blackhawks in 7 games

We beat the Nashville Predators in 6 games.

And last night we beat the San Jose Sharks in 5 games.

Clearly, we are going to take the Stanley Cup in 4 games.

It’s simple math, people. Simple. Math.

Now let’s all re-watch Kevin Bieksa’s game winner in double overtime again for the one zillionth time:

Go Canucks Go!


A Treat For My Feet

On the advice of my chiropractor – who I’m sure is sick of having to adjust my feet, which seem to get super duper tight when I run long distances – I went to Kintec, a specialty shoe/orthotics store for athletes, to get some kick ass insoles that will keep my feet from getting all stupid tight like they have been lately, what with the running of long distances and all.

I usually buy my running shoes at the Running Room and every time I do, the salesperson watches me as I walk and then as I run and then tells me that I neither supinate nor pronate. Every. Single. Time. My chiropractor, however, claims that I am a supinator1. But the guy in Kintec said that I supinate one foot and pronate the other foot. WTF? Do my feet have multiple personality disorder?

At any rate, I bought some new insoles that are cushiony and will mold to my feet over time as I wear them, so hopefully they will just mold to whatever the hell my feet are doing.

My new insoles

My new insoles.

I took them out for a spin yesterday and they felt pretty good, so that’s something.

Day 336

Stretching post-run.

Also, while in said store, I saw these socks:

PhD running socks!

I was very, very tempted to buy those, I must say!

  1. Unlike most people, who are pronators []


Manning Park

Yesterday I went with my friends Rachel and Peter on a top secret mission to Manning Park. Manning is a provincial park located about 3 hours east of Vancouver1.

After our top secret mission, Peter continued on into the Interior, while Rachel and I made an ill-fated attempt to go for a hike before we headed home.

Day 334

Rachel and I at Lightning Lake. It was sunny, so we are squinty

I say “ill-fated” because, despite it being the May long weekend, Manning still has a fair bit of snow. We were just going to go for a walk on the Lightning Lake trail to check out Rainbow Bridge, but it turned out to be full-on snow covered and since we only had our running shoes on, we decided maybe it wasn’t the best idea to follow that trail. Of course, this was after I’d already gotten trapped in some snow!

On our way to check out the trail, we had to cross a stream. And sure there was a bridge over the stream, but did we take the bridge? Oh no, of course not. We decided to walk over the snow pack that had formed a natural bridge. Good idea, right? Yeah, great idea – that is, until the snow below my feet collapsed and I sunk knee deep into the snow! I managed to get one foot out, but the other one was stuck! In the end, I had to wriggle my foot out of my shoe and then Rachel had to dig down to retrieve said shoe2. So awesome. Thankfully, I’m very short, so even sinking knee deep into the snow, my feet didn’t hit the icy cold stream. I’m sure if I were a taller person they would have!

The other excitement on our trip was four bear sitings on our drive! We aren’t entirely sure if we saw four different bears or just two – as we saw two on the way up and two on the way back, in roughly the same spots. So it’s entirely possible that it was the same two bears, but since it was several hours apart, they could have been different bears. At any rate, it was easy to spot the bears because there were several cars pulled over to take pictures. Including one guy who was *out of his car* and shockingly close to the bear. Craziness!3.

  1. You may recall it as the place that we shipped all the snow in from for the Olympics. []
  2. And she broke a nail rescuing me. What a good friend! []
  3. Note to self: check the news to see if any tourists were eaten by bears at Manning Park this weekend []


My New Nephew!

Hey, remember back in December when I told you my sister was preggers and her baby was due in May? He was due on May 19 and, unlike the vast majority of babies, he decided to show up right on schedule!


My niece and nephew1. Cutest. Kids. Ever! 

This little cutie was born on May 19, 2011 at 8:50 a.m. Eastern time. He weighed in at 8 lbs 2 oz and is little ball of adorableness that I love to pieces! Being that he’s *my* nephew, he is clearly made of 100% grade A awesome!

Mom and baby are both doing great! So are Dad and big sister Madeline! I can’t wait until I get to meet him when I head to Ontario in June. ’til then, I’ll have to make due with Skype!

  1. Still so weird to say I have a “nephew!” I’ve never had one of those before! []