Not To Be Trusted With Knives

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Worst. Parade. Ever.

I’m taking a page out of the Dr. Dan book of blogging by titling this blog posting about my race using the best sign that I saw along the route. In addition to the sign that said, “Worst. Parade. Ever.” my favourite signs that I saw along the half marathon route today included:

  • Your legs hurt because you are kicking so much ass!
  • Go Random Stranger Go!
  • Stop Reading! Get Running!
  • Where is everyone going?

With my latest half marathon medal -Scotiabank Half Marathon 2011So, yeah, I ran a half marathon today. Originally, when I first set out to run this half, I wanted to aim for a 2 hr finish, given my kick ass 2:07 finish last October in Victoria1. However, given my quarter-assed2 training – for which I completely blame the Vancouver Canucks for making it all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals, necessitating me to watch hockey and drink beer instead of training for my race well into June – I revised my goal and merely hoped that I wouldn’t have my worst finish ever. In truth, I was hoping that, despite my lacklustre training, I could use my experience at running halfs, the fact that I did do all the long runs for the training, and my good looks3 to pull off a 2:15 finish – that would be my second best time ever. And, happily, I did manage to beat that revised, revised goal! My official time was:

2:10:48!

So, not only did I *not* set a personal worst, but I set my second best time ever and my best for the Scotiabank Half Marathon. Not too shabby for a slacker such as myself!

Also, props must go out to my friends Kim and Lance on their first half marathons! Kim’s training was even more disrupted than mine, thanks to her taking a new job with insanely insane hours and she finished her race in 2:31:03. Lance, despite running on a (possibly) broken foot and running with Kim for the first 10 km before taking off, kicked our butts with a 2:09:35 finish!

Beth & Kim - Before the Scotiabank Half Marathon 2011
Me & Kim before the race!

Kim & Lance - Before the Scotiabank Half Marathon 2011
Kim & Lance before the race.

When I talked to Kim before the I left on my trip, she was not feeling too keen on this whole long distance running thing and declared that this would be her first and only half marathon. After the race today, she was making plans with me to run the Royal Victoria Half Marathon in October! I have brought one over to the dark side! Where by “dark side,” I mean “awesome side.”

Also, I am happy to report that my new running playlist was super kick ass and kept me motivated the whole time. W00t!

Scotiabank Half Marathon 2011 Route
Scotiabank Half Marathon 2011 Route

After the race, we hopped on the shuttle bus back to UBC – the race starts at UBC, but finishes at Stanley Park, so they shuttle everyone back to their cars that they left on campus via yellow school buses – and then headed to Cafe Deux Soliels for brunch4. I believe that I have mentioned before how post-race food is the most amazing food of all the foods that have ever nourished human beings since the beginning of time and by the time we got to Cafe Deux Soliels Soleils, I would have punched a baby dolphin in the face for a coffee. The coffee was not as good as it could have been5, but my omelette and homefries were the most amazingly delicious omelette and homefries that have ever been made in the history of omelettes and homefries.

Now that Half Marathon #1 of 2011 is complete, it’s time to focus on getting ready for my insanely long 10-day hockey game. This will involve, as it turns out, a boot camp, but that, my friends, is a topic for another blog posting!

  1. Originally originally, though, I intended to run the BMO half in May, but postponed it ’til this race because the winter was too winter-like to actually do any proper training. []
  2. “Quarter-assed” being even more half-assed than “half-assed.” []
  3. Good looks may or may not have contributed to my running speed. []
  4. Nonconicidentally, this is the same place that Kim and I brunched after our 8 km race in May. It’s kind of our thing now. []
  5. I don’t remember their coffee being that weak before, so either I’m developing a taste for stronger coffee or I just happened to get a poorly made pot. []

5 Responses to Worst. Parade. Ever.

  1. Dan says:

    Awesome job Dr. Beth. Congrats!

  2. Courtney-O says:

    Woot, woot! Way to go, Beth!

  3. Kalev says:

    I know you will love me for this but as probably your closest pseudo-Francophone friend, it’s “soleil,” not solly-el. “I before E except after C” does not hold en Francais, malheureusement.

    Also, 3rd picture (of Kim and Lance) is doing the effed-up Flickr thing. You think they would have effin fixed that by now, huh?

    Also, that route is insane.

    The signs you list are hilarious.

    And finally, congrats on completing another episode of insanity.

  4. Beth says:

    Thanks for catching the “soleil” typo, mon ami!

    The pic of K & L seems to be working now – not sure why Flickr had it b0rked earlier. Bad Flickr!!

  5. Rick says:

    Awesome!!!

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