Not To Be Trusted With Knives

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Merry CORPmas!

It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of corporate jargon.

Corporate speak tweet

I’m particularly not a fan of people using nouns as verbs, or verbs as nouns, in an attempt to… actually, I’m not exactly sure what they are attempting to achieve by doing this. Sound smart? Exclude people who aren’t part of their in-crowd from knowing what they are talking about? I mean, why would you say that you are “tasking someone with an ask” when you actually mean to say that you are “asking them to do a task”? I even recently heard someone repeatedly use the word “impacting” as an adjective! (“This can be an impacting strategy!”)1

So I totally laughed out loud when I saw this – a flow chart of the 12 Days of Corporate Christmas:

12 Days of Corporate Christmas

Special thanks to Drew from Words, Pictures, Humor for letting me post this on my blog!

  1. And don’t even get me started on the word “impact.” I know that it’s not technically incorrect to use the word “impact” as either a noun or a verb but ohfortheloveoftheFSM I hate it so much. So. Much. IMHO, it just comes across like people are trying to sounds smarter by using “impact” every five seconds. Can’t we just use “affect” and “effect,” please? []

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Things I’m Looking Forward to About Being a Student Again – A List

Lest you think that going back to school is all about giving up other things, I give you this list of things that I’m looking forward to about being a student again (in no particular order):

  • learning new stuff – I love to learn new things and business is an area where I know very little (Accounting? What’s that? Economics? What are those?). I’m especially excited to be able to learn things (particular the stuff about leadership and strategy) to my work environment.
  • meeting new people – There will be about 40 people in my class, only one of whom I know already. Plus there is a big network of alumni and profs – all people that I’ll get to meet and learn from. Also, given that the class breakdown of the MBA program is about 75% male, 25% female, it looks like I’ll be working with a lot more boys than I’m used to working with1.
  • tuition and education tax credits, especially since the tuition fee for the MBA is *huge*. Also, there is now a tax credit for textbook purchases, which didn’t exist the last time I was in school.
  • scholarships being tax-free, especially since I have a nice big fat scholarship
  • being in school without accumulating more student debt
  • being able to get student discounts again2
  • the U-Pass – super cheap transit access *and* a tax deduction3!
  • library access – I’ve been able to access the UBC Library since I graduated as I’ve been a faculty member, but I’m not teaching any UBC courses this year so my access just expired4.

Have I forgotten anything?

  1. My previous education being in nutrition, which is probably about 95% females, my current employment in health care is also filled with a majority of women, and I play hockey with all women. Not that I have anything against women, but it’s nice to have a balance []
  2. Did I mention that I am a cheap, cheap woman? []
  3. Is it wrong that I’m already excited about filing my 2012 taxes? []
  4. Apparently you can get access as an alumni, but it’s proving to be a cumbersome process. I started the process, but I’m expecting that I’ll probably get access as a student in January before the alumni thing pans out. []