Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


Goals for 2016

Unlike last year, when I’d been working on my goal list for a month and a half at this point, this year I starting working on this list on today (Dec 31!). I mean, I’ve had some thoughts about it during the year, but they’ve been fleeting thoughts here and there, not a real list. I decided to structure it off of last year’s list and see what I come up with!


  1. Run a sub-1:50 half marathon. I’ve been aiming for a sub-2 hr half marathon for quite some time now and last year I was close twice, but not quite close enough. So I think that aiming for 2 hours isn’t leaving me enough breathing room – any little thing1 can make me miss the 2 hour mark. If I’m training for sub-1:50 and I miss it by a few minutes, I’ll still get the elusive sub-2 hour race accomplished.
  2. Run/bike/swim 1000 km. I ran 800 km in 2015, which involved solid training for two half marathons. I’m not 100% sure of what races I’m going to do this year, but see my next goal for why I’ve decided to including biking and swimming along with running!
  3. Run a triathlon. I’ve been wanting to do one of these for years and I think I just need to bite the bullet and sign up for one. Signing up for races is always the best motivation for me to get training!
  4. Add 6 new medals to my collection. I got 5 this year, so let’s up it to 6 for next year. Race medal inflation should help!
  5. Complete the 100 push up challenge. Didn’t do this one in 2015, so I’m adding it to the 2016 list!
  6. Bring lunch to work 75% of the time. In 2015 I only did just over 50%, but I think I can do better!
  7. Lose those last 5 lbs that I gained during my MBA. Maybe triathlon training and significantly more homemade lunches will help?


  1. Pay off 16% of my mortgage principal. Seems like a good goal for 2016. Also, I should probably clarify I mean my original principal, not my remaining principal. Last year those were pretty much one and the same, as I only bought my condo half way through 2014 so hadn’t paid off a tonne by the start of 2015, but since I paid off a lot in 2015, this year the distinction is required.


  1. Submit at least one article for publication. It takes a long time to get through the whole publication process, and since I have nothing currently in the pipeline, it’s probably not reasonable to have something published by this time next year. But I can certainly get something submitted!
  2. Complete 16 items from my 101 list. I did 15 this year, which means there are fewer easy ones left on the list to choose from, so this might be a challenge. Challenge accepted!
  3. Paint a room. I want my bedroom to be a different colour than it currently is. Is anyone good at painting and wants to help me?
  4. Get screeched in. I’m planning to go to Newfoundland for a conference in June and since it is the last of the 10 provinces that I need to go to complete my quest to go to all of the provinces2, it seems like a screeching in ceremony is in order!
  5. Make 16 new food or drink items that I’ve never made before.
  6. Write 116 blog postings.

So there are my 16 goals for 2016!

  1. Like my GPS watch being less than perfect a la BMO Vancouver or a long wait on a freezing bridge before the race causing a need for a pee break a la Montreal. []
  2. The bigger quest is to go to all of the provinces and the territories, so I have my sights set on the Yukon and Nunavut too! []


Nerd Stats 2015

Ordinarily I would post this at some point on Dec 31, but since I was in Ottawa for a friend’s wedding, I was too busy to put these stats together (along with my next two postings, which are a review of my 2015 goals and my goals for 2016). So instead, I’m posting them today! Which kind of makes sense, since I really should wait until the end of the year so that all the blog postings/tweets/blog views are in!

Blog postings Tweets Visits to my blog Average number of blog visits per day Busiest day on my blog
2008 423 2,227 32,410 93 Sept 26, 2008 (460 views)
2009 357 1,815 45,153 126 July 25, 2009 (1,181 views)
2010 344 2,302 44,689 122 Feb 9, 2010 (233 views)
2011 380 3,625 60,560 166 Oct 10, 2011 (374 views)
2012 201 875 63,844 175 Feb 13, 2012 (350 views)
2013 213 945 46,665 128 Sept 4, 2013 (721 views)
2014 91 910 33,948 93 Mar 7, 2014 (208 views)
2015 118 800 34,930 96 Nov 23, 2015 (512 views)
% change from 2014 29.67% -12.09% 2.89% 3.23% N/A


Reviewing My Goals for 2015

Since it’s the end of the year, which means it’s time to check in on how I did with my 2015 goals!

2015 Goals Achieved (Y/N) Comments
Run two half marathons. Y BMO Vancouver & Montreal Rock’n’Roll.
Run a sub-2 hour half marathon N This, like gravy, is my Moby Dick.
Run 800 km Y 834.7 km, in fact.
Add 5 new medals to my collection Y Accomplished!
Complete the 100 pushup challenge N Didn’t even start trying it! Thought about it, but then had hand problems and then by the time my hand problems were fixed, I’d forgotten about it again.
Bring lunch to work more often than I buy lunch at work Y I tracked this all year and it turned out I brought lunch 53% of the time. I really think I could do a better job at this, so I think I’ll have to put in a more ambitious target for this for 2016.
Lose those last 5 lbs that I gained during my MBA N Gah, this is also my Moby Dick. I was trending in the right direction but then Drink-cember came along which, combined with No-running-vember and Sloth-cember, has caused me to start trending in the direction of Moby Dick.
Set up a new investment plan Y Done.
Write a will Y I did that yesterday. Kalev gave me a fill-in-the-blank will kit1 a billion years ago and I finally filled it in, mostly because I wanted to check this item off this list of goals!
Pay off 7.5% of my mortgage principal Y I actually paid off 18% of my principal this year. I used a combination of teaching money, textbook royalties, my tax return, and money I was able to save from my regular pay to do this.
Complete 15 items from my 101 list Y Done!
Apply for at least one research grant Y Back in November I said it would take a miracle for this to happen by the end of the year. As it turns out, a miracle happened – a great opportunity presented itself and I was able to get a grant in by the end of the year. Not at liberty to talk details, but I’m actually really excited by this project!
Make 15 new food or drink items that I’ve never made before Y I made 23!
Organize all my closets Y Done, though I did it so early in the year I probably should do it again!
Write 115 blog postings Y I published 118 blog postings in 2015!
Bonus goal: Read 15 books Y I read 18 books!

That’s 13/16 or an epic 81%. This far exceeds any of my previous years (2015: 50%, 2013: 65%, 2012: 44.5%, and 2011 at 40%)2

  1. New business idea: Mad Libs-style will kit. It would be hilarious AND legally binding! (TM!) []
  2. This would probably be a lot more exciting if my year hadn’t had such a shitty ending, but beggars cannot be choosers. []