Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


A Familiar Face

Hey, remember that time I played hockey for 10 days to raise money for Cystic Fibrosis? Well, yesterday when I picked up a copy of the Royal City Record (my local paper), I saw a familiar face from that game: Bill Markvoort. Mr. Markvoort was a great supporter of our game. His daughter, Eva, was an amazing young woman who died four years ago from Cystic Fibrosis, but her legacy lives on through her work to raise awareness of Cystic Fibrosis and organ donation, and through the ongoing work of her family to carry on her legacy. The family generously allowed us to use Eva’s striking image for promotional material for our hockey game:


According to the article, Mr. Markvoort turns 65 this year and he’s taking part in the GearUp4CF 1,200 km bike ride from Vancouver to Banff, with a goal of raising $65,000 for Cystic Fibrosis! I don’t know Mr. Markvoort, aside from having met him at the hockey game, but I feel like I have a sense of what he’s putting himself through – a nine-day bike ride sounds comparable in its level of gruelingness to 10 straight days of playing hockey! And I know that it really helped me out to be supported in my efforts, by both friends and strangers alike, so I figured I should pay forward all the support I got by contributing to his fundraiser.

Won’t you join me in supporting this worthy cause?  You can donate at his blog:



For Your Television Viewing Pleasure

Hey, remember that time I played hockey for 10 days straight and there was a documentary made about it?


Well, if you missed it at the NINE different film festivals it’s been to and you haven’t bought a copy yet, you can catch it in the comfort of your own home on the Knowledge Network this week! It will be on at:

  • Tuesday January 7, 7:00pm
  • Tuesday January 7, 11:00pm
  • Wednesday January 8, 2:00am
  • Wednesday January 8, 6:00pm


If You Only See One Documentary in 2012, Make it Lace Bite!

November 17, 2012 is the date of the Vancouver premiere of Lace Bite, the documentary based on the world recording breaking 10-day hockey game that I played in last year.

Sadly for me, I can’t actually go to it as I have class that day 🙁

But if you are interested, you can buy tickets here.


Watch It!

The official movie trailer for Lace Bite, the documentary about the Longest Game of Hockey for Cystic Fibrosis:

The movie is also now listed on IMDB and is an official selection at the St. John’s International Women’s Film Festival!


LG4CF – One Year Later

I'm a PlayerOne year ago today, I started playing a hockey game that didn’t stop for 10 days, 3 hours, and 5 minutes. It’s hard to believe that it’s been a whole year since then, but also, as I’m finding always seems to happen with really pivotal events, it also seems a lifetime ago. Even when I was driving home right after the game, I remember thinking, “Did I just dream that?” It seemed so surreal to have played in something so huge, to have pushed myself beyond all reasonable physical limits1, to have had the honour to have raised so much awareness for so worthy a cause as Cystic Fibrosis, not to mention being part of the raising of $171,000 for Cystic Fibrosis Canada.

As I reflect back, the things that stand out are not the pain & self-deprivation-induced delirium & weird physiological abnormalities 2 ,3, but the gratitude I feel for all the people who supported me in so many different ways and the pride I feel in having been able to help, even in just a small way, to trying to improve the quality of life of those living with Cystic Fibrosis through raising much needed money for research. I was just reading back over my blog postings from the game 4 and it reminded me of the families who came  to the rink with their kids who have CF to thank us for what we were doing and it was so humbling to hear their stories and their gratitude. It reminded us that the suffering we were endearing in those 10 days pales in comparison to a lifetime with Cystic Fibrosis. I didn’t have any ties to CF before the game, but that experience has made Cystic Fibrosis Canada one of my top charities to support, for life.

The other thing that always comes to mind when I think abou the game is my dad. My dad loved watching the live stream of that hockey game – he had it on running on his computer 24/7 and he had my schedule posted right next to it so he could watch all of my shifts. I’m am so grateful that my dad was around during that time because that was the only time he ever got to see me playing hockey and I know it made him very happy. He was proud of me and he loved the game and that is a part of what I’ll treasure about the experience.

We are going to have a reunion of all the players in September and I’m really looking forward to seeing everyone again!

  1. And lived to tell the tale! []
  2. Which, thankfully, faded over time. []
  3. Though I have heard that some of the other women are still suffering from injuries sustained during the game, so I really am lucky. []
  4. And I’m so glad I have my blog – there were things I’d written there that I forgot about – made me smile. []


LG4CF Documentary Teaser Videos

Hey, remember that time I set a world record? I know, how could you forget with it being so epically awesome and all?  Well, I think I mentioned1 that there was a documentary film crew that was following us around before and during the game, capturing the highs and lows and all the various goings on of 40 women who decided to play hockey for 10 days straight to raise money for, and awareness of, Cystic Fibrosis.

Well, the documentarians are hard at work on creating their masterpiece and they are at the point where they have some teaser videos for us to watch. Here’s a 40 second clip:

And here’s a 2 minute preview of the documentary:

1000 points to the first person who correctly identifies the three times that I appear in the second video!

I can’t *wait* until this movie is ready!

  1. I say that I “think” I mentioned because I was kind of delirious from pain and sleep deprivation during most of that game, so I can’t be certain of what I did or did not say during that time. []


I’ve Got Mail!

I arrived home from work today to find this waiting for me:

Congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF!

So first of all, it’s a piece of mail – and I love mail! And it’s from my niece – and I love my niece! And it references my world record holding status – and you know that I love my world record holding status!

What could be in this package???

Holding my congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF!

As it turned out, it was a card congratulating me on my 10-day long hockey game. With pictures of Queen Amidala on the front, naturally1.

Congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF - with Queen Amadala on the front

Inside the card:

Congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF!

And not only was there a card, but my niece also made me a ring!

Congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF!

Congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF! - and a ring

Congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF! - and a ring!

Luckiest. Aunt. Ever!

  1. My niece just happens to be on a Star Wars kick at the moment []


Did You Donate To My Fundraising for the LG4CF?

DonationsWhen I first started fundraising for the Longest Game, the online system used for donations wasn’t equipped to provide us with the names of the people who were donating. Once we got an updated system, names of donors were published immediately on the fundraising page ((If the donor gave permission, that is!)) So while I know the majority of the people who donated – and I love you all more than you can know! – there are some people who donated who I just have no idea who they are!

My fundraising page lists “Anonymous Pledges prior to July 15, 2011” of “$587.60” – these are the donations received on the older system that didn’t give us names of donors. I know some of that money was from Sarah and some was from Dan, and some was from another friend (who wants to be anonymous), because I talked to all of them about it, and that some of it was from the, um, Electronic Device Buying Party for Charity that I held at my friend Lianna’s place. But I don’t know where the rest of it came from! Also, on the newer fundraising page, there is an “Anonymous,” a “DG,” and a “Vera Hossack” – I don’t know who these are either!

So, if you happened to donate some money to me and don’t see your name listed on my fundraising page (or you aren’t my “Fuck Yeah” donor – I know who *you* are!), please let me know (you can email me or use my contact page, if you aren’t comfortable with talking about your donation in the comments section)! I want to send a special thank you to all my fabulous donors and I can’t do that if I don’t know who you are. Also – you rock!

Image Credit: Posted by Matthew Burpee on Flickr.


Getting Back To A Normal Life

Apparently my ability to blog about anything but the game lasted all of one day.

It’s been four days since the game ended and I’m feeling both like I may never fully recover and like it was all just a dream! My physical injuries are all very surface – blisters and abrasions  – and I’m a fast healer when it comes to stuff like that and my sausage fingers only lasted for about a day after the game. I had dinner with about 25 of the players last night1 and many people have much more serious issues – groin pulls, toes that are still numb, etc.! But I also am still having trouble temperature regulating – I’m hot, then I’m cold – and I can’t seem to get hydrated. Despite the fact that I am drinking crazy amounts of water all day long, none of it seems to want to stay in my body2! I feel like I’m ever so slightly more hydrated than yesterday, but my mouth and my eyes still feel super dry! If we do this again, I feel like we should have physiologists follow us around to study the effects of insane amounts of physical activity3. On the plus side, I have regained the ability to sweat, which I lost around Day 5 of the game. So that’s got to be a good thing, right?

My main problem now is that I’m still suffering from the sleep deprivation – hence why I’m at home writing a blog posting on a Friday night instead of partying it up like a respectable 30-something should be. Now, I’m no stranger to sleep-deprivation. I usually only sleep about 5 hours a night during the week, so getting only 5 hours sleep per day during the hockey game wasn’t as much a problem for me as it was for some others… for a few days. But in the real world, I typically make up for my insufficient sleep during the week by sleeping 10 or 12 hours per night on the weekends, something I certainly didn’t do during the game! I’m also not usually physically active for 9 hours per day while getting only 5 hours of sleep per night, so the sleep deprivation *definitely* caught up with me. And since I went back to work the day after the game ended, I haven’t gotten nearly enough sleep to start catching up. In fact, I was in a meeting today and the chair asked us to talk about our goals for the meeting – her example was “By the end of the meeting, I want a consensus on this document so that we can submit it to the Director – and I said, “My goal is to stay awake for the next two hours”4.

My plan for the weekend is to take it easy – early to bed tonight, a day on the beach tomorrow and definitely sleeping in big time on Sunday. Hopefully by Sunday I’ll have enough energy to actually get groceries – something I just haven’t had the strength to do as of yet. Maybe next week I’ll even unpack all my stuff from the game, which is currently sitting in a giant pile in my living room!

  1. Big time props to Richport Ford Lincoln who kicked in a bunch of money for dinner! []
  2. I’ve also tried beer, but that doesn’t seem to work either []
  3. Yeah, I just suggested that we might do this again. Near the end of the game, when people would ask me if I’d ever do this again, I would say, “No way. I’ll volunteer, but playing in a 10 day long hockey game is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.” Now that we are a few days out, I feel like I might do it again if they were to plan another game like this! []
  4. Fortunately, my coworkers have a sense of humour and are sympathetic to my plight! []


More Random Thoughts on The World Record Hockey Game – #lg4cf

I’m sure I could probably blog about the game until the end of time! There were SO MANY times that something happened that I thought “I need to blog that,” but given that we had very little time to do anything other than eat, sleep & play, I didn’t get to blog most of them. Now that I’m slowly recovering from my sleep deprivation and have time on my hands to actually write about it, I’m going to try to remember as many of them as I can. Since I still can’t string together a coherent paragraph, though, you’ll have to accept it in bulleted list form.
My random thoughts:
  • There was a dent in centre ice from having dropped the puck more than 2,300 times over 10 days. Seriously.
  • I got two new nicknames during the course of the game. One was “The Hobbit” – because I would come into the rink from RV World wrapped in my blanket. It was just too damn cold to get out of my bed without my blanket. The other was “Timbit” – this was what Bree started calling Sarah Willie and I due to our short statures (and the fact that I play like a Timbit!).
  • The arena was freaking cold. Apparently they had to keep it that way in order to zamboni the ice is less than 10 minutes, which was the maximum amount of break time we were allowed according to Guinness rules. Freaking cold.
  • Scott liked all my witty tshirts. Every day he’s ask “What shirt do you have on today?”  Over the course of the 10 days, I rocked such shirts as “I’m blogging this,” “Not that kind of doctor,” “Zombie Research Society” and, of course, “BETH HUNGRY.”
  • A lot of people have asked if we lost weight by playing so much hockey, but no one really seems to have lost much, if any. In fact, one of the women gained 12 lbs! When I got home after the game, I stepped on the scale and weighed exactly the same as when I left. However, when I stepped on the scale the next day, I was down 3 lbs. I’m pretty sure those 3lbs were 3 lbs of water that I’d been retaining in my sausage-like fingers after the game ended!
  • Weird things happened to all of our bodies over the course of ten days. I mean, there were lots of things you’d expect to happen from playing a ridiculous amount of hockey – blisters, bruises, a concussion, a torn MCL, swollen knees and such, but then there was weird stuff. For example, Bree randomly had a fat wrist. No pain, no particular reason and it was just one wrist. Why would water be retained just in one wrist? We have no idea. Later, the wrist went back to normal and one ankle got fat. Why? No clue. Frankie got TMJ. How does one get TMJ from playing hockey?? I stopped sweating after about day 5. That’s not normal when you play hockey.
  • The next time we do this, we should get some physiologists to follow us around to document the effects on our physiology. I think that would make an awesome journal article!
  • It’s now two days later and I’m still unable to rehydrate, despite drinking water all day long. It’s like the water just goes right through me and I’m still all dry mouthed and unhydratable!
  • Every person who has watched the clip of me on Breakfast Television has said to me, “You look really tired.”
  • My six year old niece watched the clip of me on Breakfast Television, which also had an interview with Desneige, who made a very striking piece of artwork featuring the syringes and pill casings of all the drugs that her young son, Beckett (who has CF), had to take in one year. After watching it, my niece said to my sister, “I think I should give my donation money to those kids. They need it.” And she got her jar that she saves money for donations in and counted up how much she had and she donated. What a sweet kid she is!
  • Very quickly after the game started, we lost all sense of time. By Day 2, all we knew was “It’s Day 2.” I could not have told you the date or even what day of the week it was, but I knew which of the 10 days we were on.
  • For the last two hours of the game, all 40 players were dressed and on the benches. It was the first time since the first hour of the game that we had more than one sub at a time! I was actually on the ice when we tied the record at 10 am. When we set our new record of 10 days, 3 hours and 5 minutes, I was standing by the door and thus would have been the next to go on – you know, like if the game had gone to overtime. =)
  • I remember when I was working on my PhD, when I got experimental results, I would sit for a moment and reflect on the fact that I was the only person on Earth who knew the fact that I had just discovered. It’s pretty staggering to think that out of more than 6 billion people, you are the only person who knows something. I can tell you that being one of only 40 people in history to have completed such a momentous feat is just as thrilling.
  • A little while ago, Dr. Dan wrote a posting about how he didn’t see himself as an athlete, despite all his running, biking, yoga-ing, etc.1. He is, of course, but he doesn’t see himself that way. I used to have that problem too, but I feel like completing this epic game has earned me the right to always and forever be able to call myself an athlete.
  • My final medical count:
    • blisters: 12
    • fingers with skin that cracked right open: 4
    • major abrasions (i.e., ~1 inch x 1/2 inch): 2
  • I wasn’t too worried that I would get injured on the ice, but I was constantly worried that I would do something really stupid, like fall coming out of my RV or take a tumble down the stairs and break a bone. Because that would be such a Beth thing to do. I’m pretty surprised it didn’t happen, actually.
And here are a few funny quotations that I’ve meant to capture for posterity (I know there were a tonne more funny things that were said, but of course I can’t remember them now!):
  • “Taking off my skates feels better than sex.”
  • “Beth, you have such a nice personality, you could say the most asshole thing and people would just say, ‘Oh, I’m sure she didn’t mean it that way!'”
  • “I really hope this game doesn’t go into overtime!”
  • “Sleep deprivation, physical pain, and isolation. Isn’t that what people do to torture prisoners of war?”
  • I was known as the girl with the blog who was also constantly tweeting. A few days into the game, Sarah W said to me “You keep having real people come to visit you. I didn’t think Internet people had friends in real life. YOU ARE MAKING ME QUESTION ALL MY STEREOTYPES!!” A few days later, she asked me, “Are you friends with Miss 604?”, but when I replied “Yes,” she went, “Oh. I was being sarcastic.”
I’m sure I’ll remember more things I wanted to record for posterity sake, and I’ll add those later.
  1. I’d link to the article, but I’m too tired to go searching for it []