Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


Blasphemy Day

I just read on Derek’s blog that today is International Blasphemy Rights Day. I only have half an hour left to celebrate!

Blasphemy, according to the holy book of Wikipedia, is:

irreverence toward holy personages, religious artifacts, customs, and beliefs.

I’m relatively certain that I committed some act of blasphemy today. But people, can someone out there remind me next year earlier in the day so I can be sure to go out of my way to yell “Christ on a cracker” or suchlike? Also I wonder if there are days to commemorate similar things like apostasy and heresy?

Related: I learned from my meandering around on Wikipedia that “Heresiology is the study of heresy.” Who knew?


My Hockey Swear

I have discovered that my swear of choice when I’m hit in a hockey game is “JESUS CHRIST!”  I don’t do it consciously, it’s just what happens to come out whenever someone cross checks in my back1 or slashes me across the visor2 or when a Calgarian punches me in the throat3.  The uttering of JC last night, which pretty much confirmed that this swear is my automatic reaction to dirty hits, came when I got cross checked in the back when I was in “the doctor’s office,” to which the about-to-be-penalized defenceman yelled “Let go of my stick!!”  I’m not sure how exactly she figured that I was, or had been, holding her stick given that she just flattened me by slamming me in the back with said stick, but whatevs. She got a penalty and I got an assist on the ensuing power play goal.  So apparently blasphemy works.

  1. which happened to me both last night and the night my family came to watch me play []
  2. also happened to me last night.  It was more of a flailing with the stick rather than anything intentional, but thank the FSM I wear a full face shield! []
  3. that happened in Vegas. You gotta watch out for the Calgarians []