Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


Merry Christmas Eve from the Future

My brother-in-common-law got a virtual reality (VR) game system for his and my sister’s family this year. So we’ve spent most of Christmas Eve doing this:

I mean seriously, if you’d told me when I was a kid that someday I’d basically be doing Jedi training in the living room, I would never have believed it! But here we are with computers in our pockets, a digital assistant that can turn up the thermostat with a simple voice command, and VR systems in our living rooms.

Merry Christmas Eve to you, whatever you may be doing tonight!


Christmas Eve

Putting aside all critiques about Uber and their various bad practices, this made me laugh tonight:

Reindeer Uber


The Stockings Were Hung On The Entertainment Centre With Care

Picture it – it’s Christmas Eve and everyone is hanging their stockings. Everyone, that is, except my two and a half year old nephew. Stockings

He was having none of it. He would hold his stocking, he would walk over to where the stocking holders were and then he would either run away from it or throw his stocking in that general direction. But he also wouldn’t let anyone else do it. “*I* want to do it!!” he would say.

We tried various tactics, like, “Santa won’t be able to find it to put presents in it for you!” His sister even tried bribery, offering him some of her Christmas chocolate if he hung up his stocking.

Finally, he decide he would hang up his stocking, but only in a totally different place:


We were all very satisfied with this.

Stocking hanger

Then he walked over to his empty stocking hanger, pointed at it and said, “Uh oh!”

Happily, however, Santa was able to find everyone’s stocking and we all got lots of chocolate!


Christmas Eve

It’s Christmas Eve and my wee niece is trying to go to sleep, but how is a six-year-old supposed to sleep when SANTA IS COMING?? My sister and my dad are both upstairs with her right now, ostensibly trying to get her to go to sleep, but putting two Snows in a room with a child that’s all hopped up on sugar and Christmas excitement really doesn’t seem like the way to go now, does it?

I’m having an absolutely fabulous – if exhausting – holiday with my family, despite the fact that I’m sick from Toronto germs1, as evidenced by the fact that I’ve hardly blogged since I’ve been here, and I really do have many, many things I want to blog about! I have a half written blog posting on my phone – I wrote it on my iPhone in the WordPress app while on the subway, since the subway doesn’t have cell reception, and thus I can’t read stuff from the Internets, I figured I’d write, but then never got around to posting it. And now I’m pretty much in a food coma from our Chrismtas Eve dinner – which isn’t even our big Christmas dinner, it was “just hors d’oeuvres” and yet was somehow enough food to feed an army – and I’m thinking that it’s time to get ready for bed, even though it’s not quite 10 p.m.2, because I’m sure my niece will have me up at the crack of dawn to see what Santa has brought. Which is how Christmas morning should be, imho.

So, yeah, good night, Merry Christmas, and I’m sure I’ll be back to blogging once I get home! I hope Santa is good to y’all!

  1. boo-urns! []
  2. in Toronto, remember []


‘Twas The Night Before Christmas…

and all through the blog,
not a Bethy was stirring,
‘cuz she was too busy learning to salsa dance on her vacation in Mexico. Or perhaps it’s merengue today. Or maybe yoga on the beach. Whatever it is she’s up to, she’s not here blogging.

She did, however, leave this link for you today. It’s a discussion about the sex (not the gender, as the headline says) of Santa’s reindeer.  Hint: they are probably girls.