Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


A movie that helps distract me

Today’s blogging prompt is: “Your best friend just broke up with her partner. What movie do you bring over to get her through that first night?”

But I’ve decided to adapt this one a bit, because if my best friend just broke up with her partner, I don’t think I’d bring a movie over. I’d probably go and talk to her. But this prompt does make me think about a movie that helped me get through my divorce, when I was really sad and needed some distraction, so I watched this movie over and over again:

Usually, I can find stupid humour funny one time, but it doesn’t stand the test of time. Not so with Zoolander. I’ve seen that movie dozens and dozens of time, and it’s still hilarious every time I watch it.

I really, really hope the sequel is good.


The glorious, gloriousness of a gloriously long weekend. Now with 100% more sleeping in!

Ah, the four day long weekend. The most glorious of all the long weekends, what with the four days and all.

Friday, I had a wonderful sleep in. I didn’t intend to sleep quite so long as I did, but it was so great to get a good long rest and not wake up to an alarm. I had intended to get up in time to go for a 12 km run before heading out for the day (as Friday was supposed to be the only non-rainy day of the weekend), but I didn’t get up early enough to do that, so I opted to do a few chores I needed to get done (mostly getting all my tax papers together and writing my kitty quarterly report), then I headed out to hang out with Kalev. We did such adventurous things as Indian buffet for lunch, going for a walk1, seeing a very important documentary on the latest developments in artificial intelligence2, drinks and poutine3.

Saturday I got to sleep in again (hooray), but then I went to my accountant’s to deal with my taxes. By which I mean, I gave my accountant a bunch of papers and told her what’s gone on this year and then she works magic and will tell me how much money I’ll get back4. Then I spent much of the rest of the day watching hockey and episodes of Cosmos that I hadn’t yet seen (since it was raining out anyway, seemed like a good day to not be outside too much). Since my beloved Canucks didn’t make the playoffs this year, I’ve been forced to watch other teams play. Was happy to see the St. Louis beat the evil Blackhawks, but sad to see Pittsburgh go down to the BJs in OT. For the record, I’m cheering for Montreal to win the East5 and San Jose in the West. Go Habs! Go Sharks!

Sunday I slept in again (I know you are surprised) I finally went for my 12 km run! Except it ended up being more like an 11 km run because I hadn’t eaten very much breakfast and my legs turned to lead6 Also, I was just running up and down the Quay7, as it was cloudy and threatening to pour, so I didn’t want to run 6 km away and then be stuck in a torrential downpour. However, it ended up that the 11 km mark ended up being right by the entrance to the Quay and I just didn’t have it in me to keep going. Lesson learned – fuel up next time! And perhaps plan a better route!

After that I did some tidying8. And then I went over to my friend Heather’s place for Easter dinner. Because Heather is super sweet and takes in orphans like me on holidays. Heather’s family is super fun – though I’m not surprised given how much fun Heather is. Also, the food was crazy delicious – and I got sent home with leftovers! I’m so spoiled!!

Monday (today), I slept in yet again (hooray!) and then Alicia and her girls came out to visit. We went for brunch and then the girls came over to meet the cats. The girls were very excited to play with the cats and, surprisingly, the cats didn’t seem too freaked out by the kids. A couple of times they retreated to the safety of under the bed, but only for a few minutes and then they came back out. They are very much people cats! Also, Alicia’s older daughter built an epic fort out of the cats’ boxes, and the cats were pretty happy about that, as it seemed like they quite enjoyed hanging out in their fort! And then the rest of the day involved more organizing – I managed to clean up various things that had been piling up in my office, which makes me a happy camper! I’m still behind on my my organization quest schedule, but I’m much further ahead compared to where I was at the start of the weekend.

And now, sadly, the weekend has come to an end. And I think it’s time for me to hit the hay, as I don’t get to sleep in tomorrow!

  1. Because we were stuffed from Indian buffet *and* because it was supposed to be the only sunny day this weekend. []
  2. Spoiler alert: It was a terrible movie! []
  3. Which I blame entirely on the drinks. Also, Indian buffet and poutine in one day made me really regret not having gone for a run. And I wonder why I haven’t lost the MBA weight yet? []
  4. Hooray for giant tuition tax credit! I mean, the giant tuition fees suck, but at this time of year, at least we get the tax credit. []
  5. I’m cheering for Montreal because (a) they are the only Canadian team who made the playoffs, (b) it is the place my parents grew up, and (c) it is the home of spruce beer. []
  6. I have a terrible habit of thinking that 12 km isn’t that long of run, so I’m not properly mentally or physically prepared for it, but it totally is a long run and then I struggle. I find 14 km a bit easier and 16 km fine – I think my brain can comprehend that those are long distances and so is ready for it, but it stubbornly refuses to accept 12 km as long. []
  7. Also, since I was running the same route, back and forth, I ended up running by a guy with a video camera who was interviewing a couple (not sure what about, since I had my headphones on and couldn’t hear what they were saying. They were blocking the only way to get to the end of Westminster Pier Park (the east end of the Quay) – which I needed to cover or else I’d have to do even more laps of the rest of the Quay) and since they had another guy with them who was watching but he wasn’t stopping anyone, I ran by them. They didn’t say anything, but about a half an hour later when I ran by there again, they were done interviewing and looked to be wrapping up their shoot, but when they saw me, they started filming me running. It was weird, because I couldn’t tell if they were just trying to take stock-like footage of “person running along the pier” or if they were trying to freak me out, like “You ruined our footage, now we’ll creep on you!” If the former, they got a fair amount of useless footage of me staring at them looking puzzled as I ran []
  8. As I’m waaaaay behind on my organization quest! []


For Your Television Viewing Pleasure

Hey, remember that time I played hockey for 10 days straight and there was a documentary made about it?


Well, if you missed it at the NINE different film festivals it’s been to and you haven’t bought a copy yet, you can catch it in the comfort of your own home on the Knowledge Network this week! It will be on at:

  • Tuesday January 7, 7:00pm
  • Tuesday January 7, 11:00pm
  • Wednesday January 8, 2:00am
  • Wednesday January 8, 6:00pm


Turbo – Movie Review

Beware: There will be spoilers!

One of the things I’ve been doing while on vacation at my sister’s place is catching up on movies that I haven’t watched because I’ve been dedicating all my time to school in the last two years1. One such movie was Turbo, about a snail who loves car racing and dreams of being the fastest snail. And I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but through an accident with some nitrous oxide, he becomes fast enough to race in the Indy 500! What are the odds of that happening to a snail who loves car racing? I’m pretty sure there were no snails harmed in the making of this movie.

It didn’t do that well at the box office, but I thought it was adorable! My favourite line was when Turbo’s older brother, who is always worried that Turbo will get hurt, asks him, “What would you do if tomorrow you woke up and your powers were gone?” and then Turbo replies, “Well, I better make the most of today.” Words to live by, little snail. Words to live by.

  1. My nephew’s most frequent requests are “the baby eyeball monster movie” (i.e., Monsters University) and “the snail movie” (i.e., Turbo). Today I asked him, “Hey Thomas, can we watch “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs”? and he replied, “Can we eat it?” []


Watch It!

The official movie trailer for Lace Bite, the documentary about the Longest Game of Hockey for Cystic Fibrosis:

The movie is also now listed on IMDB and is an official selection at the St. John’s International Women’s Film Festival!


LG4CF Documentary Teaser Videos

Hey, remember that time I set a world record? I know, how could you forget with it being so epically awesome and all?  Well, I think I mentioned1 that there was a documentary film crew that was following us around before and during the game, capturing the highs and lows and all the various goings on of 40 women who decided to play hockey for 10 days straight to raise money for, and awareness of, Cystic Fibrosis.

Well, the documentarians are hard at work on creating their masterpiece and they are at the point where they have some teaser videos for us to watch. Here’s a 40 second clip:

And here’s a 2 minute preview of the documentary:

1000 points to the first person who correctly identifies the three times that I appear in the second video!

I can’t *wait* until this movie is ready!

  1. I say that I “think” I mentioned because I was kind of delirious from pain and sleep deprivation during most of that game, so I can’t be certain of what I did or did not say during that time. []


Closer You Get To Canada

The Closer You Get To Canada is a short film directed by my friend John Bolton, who you may remember from such films as 12 Takes and Breakdown1.
Go watch it. Go watch it now!
  1. And Flame/Through Walls,which I totally thought I blogged about, but I can’t seem to find that blog posting on my blog! []


Weekend Update

How, exactly, did the weekend go by so fast? I fully expected this weekend to be low key and then, somehow, it got super busy! Hence, I’m writing my first blog posting of the weekend at 11 pm on Sunday night!

So, a quick recap:

  • Friday night – went out with Kalev, who is in town for a couple of weeks, and his friend, Craig, for dinner1 and a movie2.
  • Saturday – ran 15 km and then went for a *much needed* massage. My run was supposed to be 16 km, but I got up too late and spent too much time chatting and then suddenly didn’t have enough time to run my full 16 km and get home and showered before my massage appointment, so I had to cut the run a bit short. Massage was awesome – painful, but oh so awesome.
  • Saturday night – Went to Shalu & Deepak’s to watch the game. Though the Canucks suffered a sad defeat, it was a more entertaining game to watch than most of the Nashville series has been3 and Shalu made us some ridiculously good food. And then Shalu and I planned for our next spa day!
  • Saturday night later on – Since the Canucks game was an early game4, Kalev and I made plans to hang out after the game. Hanging out turned into “let’s go watch Thor!” My verdict on Thor – very entertaining, but Chris Hemsworth really should have spent more time in the movie with his shirt off.
  • Sunday – Spent most of the day making something awesome with Kim! Something which I shall blog about in more detail soon!

Now, I’d like to be able to report that this week will be a little more chill, but somehow I’ve managed to book something every single night for the next 6 nights. And next Friday and Saturday is the Northern Voice conference, so I’m booked up those two days as well.

Can someone please tell my social life to calm down already?

  1. Old Spaghetti Factory, since it was close to the theatre we were going to []
  2. Scream 4. Which I really enjoyed, though I think it’s not getting good reviews from most people []
  3. Nashville should be renamed Yawnsville! []
  4. 5 p.m. start []


You Can’t Fight In Here, This Is The Warew Room!

There’s a building that I often have to go to for meetings at work and in this building there is a room that, though I’ve never had a meeting in it, always catches my eye when I walk by. The Warew Room1.

Day 234

The reason that it catches my eye every time I walk by is that whenever I see the sign, I want to shout “You can’t fight in here, this is the Warew Room!!” But then I realize I have no idea how to pronounce “Warew.” War-eww? Ware-ew? Seriously, try to say that out loud. It’s difficult!

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about – and I know there are many who won’t, since I’ve mentioned it to a few people and they’ve said, “WTF are you talking about??” – I give you this clip from Stanley Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove – Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb:

  1. In case you are wondering why I felt the need to point to the name of the room in that photo, it’s because I figure that since I was talking a photo for this blog posting, I may as well kill two birds with one stone and get a piece of me into the photo so I could use it for my 365 Day Self-Portrait set. Because I’m just that efficient []


Two Reviews

Gift Certs

A magic show:

So I won some tickets to a magic show over on Raul’s blog.  Not only that, I also got $25 of gift certificates to Havana, where the show was. The magician was Vitaly Beckman and his show was freaking spectacular!  He was levitating things, making people disappear from one photo and appear in another and even had a bus drive out of a photo!  I have *no idea* how he did the stuff he did.  Crazy good.  If you ever have a chance to see him perform, I highly recommend it!

A movie:

Today I went to a show of a completely different type – Piranha 3D. If you like (a) lots of gore and (b) tits & ass in bad 3D, you will love Piranha 3D.