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Kitties Report, Q3

Introduction

This report covers Q3 of FY2014 for Snow Industries, Cat Division.

Assets

There were no new asset acquisitions this quarter. The Procurement Department is on the look out for a cool piece of furniture inside which the litter box can be hidden, but have not yet found the right item.

Expenses

The primary operating expense continues to be food, comprising 97.3% of all expenses for this quarter. See Figure 1 for a breakdown of expenses by category for Q3.

Figure 1

R&D

Advanced box research continued through Q3 at Snow Industries, with ample evidence supporting the the preliminary conclusion of “boxes are awesome to sit in or on” (see Figures 2 to 7).

Watson

Figure 2

Crick in a Box

Figure 3

Watson in a Box

Figure 4

Crick in a Box

Figure 5

Watson in a Baskete

Figure 6

Crick in a box

Figure 7

But bags were also found to be fascinating (see Figures 8 to 10).

Crick

Figure 8

Crick checking out my new wheeled bag for work

Figure 9

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Figure 10

Also registering on the excitement-o-meter was the laundry machine (Figures 11 to 12), trying to grab each others’  paws from opposite sides of the bathroom door (Figure 13), and pigeons on the neighbour’s balcony (see Figure 14).

Crick watching the laundry

Figure 11

Crick is helping me do laundry

Figure 12

Cat games

Figure 13

Cats Watching Birds

Figure 14

It was also discovered by one member of the R&D department that the man who came to install the screen doors at HQ was absolutely terrifying (see cat hiding under couch in Figure 15), though the other member of the R&D department completely disagreed with this conclusion (see cat looking at camera like “what’s wrong with the guy under the couch?” in Figure 15).

Cats

Figure 15

Return on Investment

As expected, the ROI, in the form of cuddles, cuteness, and love, continues to be strong through Q3.

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Kitties Report, Q2

Introduction

This report covers Q2 of FY2014 for Snow Industries, Cat Division.

Assets

Asset acquisition was minimal in Q2, including only one item: a food dish with a timer-released lid, which allows food to be put out for the cats in a sealed compartment, the lid of which opens at a pre-set time. This asset was acquired since the CEO spent time traveling away from headquarters during Q2 and the timer-released lid allowed her to pay a cat sitter to attend to the cats only once a day, instead of twice a day. Thus, this asset was a significant cost saving acquisition.

Expenses

Primary operating expenses in Q2 comprised food and cat sitting services, due to the aforementioned CEO trips. Food products were diversified by trying out some high quality, grain-free dry food that could safely be left in the aforementioned timer-released dish (as leaving out wet food for 12 hours didn’t seem like a good idea). Dry food will be reserved for only such times as food needs to be left out in the new dish, much to the dismay of the cats, who lose their little kitty minds over this crunchy food. They have informed management that they will be consulting with their union rep on this matter.

Expenses lumped together in the “supplies” category the Q1 report were broken down into the more precise categories of “food,” “litter”, and “equipment”1, as the accountant felt guilty about her lazy accounting. See Figure 1 for a breakdown of expenses by category for the first half of FY2014 (i.e., both Q1 and Q2).

Figure 1

Developments at Snow Industries

In keeping with our luxury brand, Snow Industries relocated headquarters from rented space to owned space in a prime sub-penthouse location. The expense of this purchase was not included in the financials above because (a) the total would overwhelm all other expenses, making the graphs much less interesting to look at, and (b) the accountant is far too lazy to do the amortization calculations.

The process of moving provided significant excitement for CATpital investment Watson and CATpital investment Crick, mostly in the form of boxes, but also in the form of lying on the moving blanket that the movers accidentally left behind. See Figures 2 to 14.

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Figure 2

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Figure 3

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Figure 4

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Figure 5

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Figure 6

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Figure 7

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Figure 8

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Figure 9

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Figure 10

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Figure 11

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Figure 12

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Figure 13

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Figure 14

Another highlight of Q2 was a visit from Grandma and Great Auntie Eileen, who spoiled the kitties with love and toys. Toys, I might add, that the kitties completely ignored until Grandma and Great Auntie Eileen went home, at which point they started playing with them. Especially at night. Especially the ones with bells in them.

Risk Management

The teeth-related risk described in the Q1 report came to fruition with the destruction of a perfectly good, brand new pair of headphones (see Figure 15). Though security footage from headquarters did not reveal the culprit, the Security Department has their suspicions as to who was at fault. To avoid future property damage, it has been suggested that perhaps the CEO shouldn’t leave her headphones with their delicious looking cord poking out of her purse on the counter where a curious kitty might go looking.

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Figure 15

Marketing

The Marketing Department has been prototype testing a variety of cat nicknames, mostly because that’s what happens when you live alone with only cats to talk to. Some nicknames are generally applied to both cats equally (e.g., Muffin, Munchkin, Destructo-Kitty), whereas some are specific to a given cat (For Watson, they include but are not limited to: Dr. Watson, Big W, Watskipoo, Brother Cat, Kitchen Cat2; for Crick, they include but are not limited to Dr. Crick, Cricky, Crickskipoo, Crickerella, Sister Cat, Office Cat3. Future testing of cat nicknames is required to determine the best fit with Snow Industries overall branding strategy.

Return on Investment

ROI, in the form of cuddles, cuteness, and love, continues to be strong through Q2. The Finance Department remains baffled as to how to appropriately monetize these returns, as numbers big enough to represent the return do not appear to exist. Forecasts continue to anticipate ongoing positive returns for the foreseeable future.

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Figure 16: Snow Industries employee group photo

Footnotes

  1. “Equipment” comprises such items as toys, dishes, and scratching posts. []
  2. Watson loves to watch me when I’m working in the kitchen. []
  3. Crick loves to hang out with me when I’m in the office. []

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Kitties Report, Q1

Introduction

The cats were acquired by Snow Industries on 18 January 2014, such that the initial cat fiscal year runs from 18 Jan 2014 to 17 Jan 2015 (henceforth referred to as fiscal year (FY) 2014. This report covers quarter 1 of FY2014.

Assets

A capital investment1 of $225 was made to acquire said cats. Other fixed assets included a scratching post, litter box/scoop/mat, food and water dishes, and cat carriers. These non-biological capital investments are categorized as “supplies” for accounting purposes, because our accountant is lazy. See Figure 1 for a breakdown of expense by category2

Figure 1

Operating Expenses

Primary operating expenses for said cats comprise food and litter, with additional variable costs including treats, cat nip, cat grass, and toys3. Cost savings have been realized for food by the R&D department’s discovery that First Mate Cat Food and First Mate Dog Food are identical products4, but the dog food costs 34% less (see Figure 2). A consistent feeding program results in highly accurate forecasting of food consumption, allowing for optimal inventory management.

Figure 2

The R&D department is actively investigating suppliers for litter. Initially, pine pellets were used, as this was the litter the cats were using prior to the acquisition and using the same product was recommended as the cats acclimatized to the organization. That product performed well on the characteristic of not smelling bad, but performed poorly on the sawdust-getting-tracked-all-over-the-apartment characteristic. The next supplier to be tested was Natural Cat, which is grain-based, clumping, and flushable. The product does not appear to perform quite as promised, it is more sticky than clumpy, retains a slight ammonia-y odour, and though it tracks less than the pine pellets, it does tracks across a large mat in the litter box area. An external consultant conducted an independent audit5 and has recommended investigation of World’s Best Cat Litter. The R&D department will be conducting further research on this topic in Q2.

Our innovative sustainability program includes re-purposing packaging from our suppliers as cat containment/entertainment devices, resulting in significant cost savings (see Figure 3).

Dr. Watson, The Cat

Figure 3

Risk Assessment

Major risks for this endeavour include claws and teeth, but the sweet nature of the CATpital assets mitigates this risk. However, CATpital investment Watson loves to rip the crap out of cardboard, causing a minor inconvenience for the janitorial staff. The anticipated risk of the cats eating the Frog Department seems to have been quelled, as the cats rarely pay any attention at all to the tank, unless the CEO is interacting with the frogs, at which point both cats stare up at the interaction.

Social Media Marketing

The cats have embarked on a social media marketing campaign by handling their own Twitter account. (See Figure 4 for monthly Twitter activity). In addition, the cats are regularly featured on the Snow Industries Twitter account, and were highlighted during the CEO’s reign as the Curator of the People of Canada Twitter account. Market research indicates a strong positive reaction to Watson & Crick, though this is not surprising given the overall trend of appreciation for cats on the Internets.

Figure 4

Return on Investment

ROI was strong in Q1, coming in the form of cuddles, cuteness, and love. (See Figures 5 to 8 for representative examples of cuteness). Forecasts anticipate ongoing positive returns for the foreseeable future.

Dr. Watson, The Cat

Figure 5: Dr. Watson, The Cat

 

Dr. Crick, the Cat

Figure 6: Dr. Crick, The Cat

 

Crick is helping me blog

Figure 7: Dr. Crick and CEO Snow in the social media command centre

 

Watson

Figure 8: Dr. Watson in the trademark purple chair at Snow Industries headquarters

 

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Figure 9: Drs. Crick & Watson, tired out for a long day of being adorable

  1. Or should I say CATpital investment? []
  2. Get it. CATegory! []
  3. Watson is also a huge fan of any green vegetables – lettuce, asparagus, green beans, and especially cucumber, but these come out of existing Snow Industries inventory and are sufficiently small as to be ignored for cat accounting purposes. Crick, on the other hand, looks at the supplier as if she is crazy when offered lettuce []
  4. Including the addition of taurine, which is a required amino acid for cats. []
  5. Thanks for cat sitting, Steven! []