Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


Random Photos and Suchlike

Here’s a bunch of random pics and screenshots that I’ve taken lately to blog about, but then promptly forgot, and then recently discovered.

Saw this in a pharmacy:

Spelling "Stationery" - U R Doing It Wrong!

I can assure you that they were not selling a lack of movement in this aisle.

I tweeted this next photo a while back, but figured I’d share it here for people who aren’t on The Twitter. I saw these two books next to each other in Chapters:

Harper totally wants to eat that cat.

Harper is clearly thinking: “That kitten looks DELICIOUS!”

Not sure how autocorrect came up with this one:

sexist cupcakes

And this I found amusing – apparently the Daily Deal sites have really got my number:

beer and economics

Klout, however, seems a bit confused:
Klout 1
Klout 2I can see how it would think I’m influential about hockey and coffee and Vancouver (or, at least that I talk about them a lot), but homosexuality and babies? What the what?

Here’s an example of a spam email that wasn’t very well thought out when it was sent to Gmail addresses:

Is your Gmail active?

Validating “packages”? Tee hee!

validating packages

I’m glad to see that this washing machine is “in sock”:

this product is "in sock"

This next one is a screen shot from a survey – I took it so long ago, I can’t be exactly sure, but I think it might be from the Georgia Strait’s Best of Vancouver survey. The auto complete of commonly given answers made me laugh:

edu institute

And this one is a screen shot from a very, very long time ago. I know that because it’s from an online dating website survey where you have to fill in what you are looking for:

Who the hell finds "intelligence" unattractive??

I can see how people might find dishonesty or vanity might be unattractive, but intelligence? Who the hell find intelligence unattractive? “I really like that guy, but he just wasn’t stupid enough for me to date!”


Officially On Vacation!

I had a ridiculously productive day at work today, getting three major things done that needed to be done, as well as helping out two people with computer problems1, and reviewed a paper for a colleague. Like I said, ridiculously productive. So I feel that I have extra super duper earned the vacation that I am now on. I ended up staying a bit late to get all this done, but I left the office by about 5:45 p.m. and by 5:54 p.m. I was at home drinking a beer. Drinking this beer, in fact:


And thus begins my vacation. Of course, this first night of my vacation won’t be that exciting. I’ll be packing my bags and going to bed early so that I can get up at the crack of dawn to try to beat  some of the long weekend border traffic. But I am super stoked that by a roughly this time tomorrow I will be hanging out with my sister, my brother-in-common law, my niece, and my nephew!

In unrelated news, while uploading my beer photo, I also uploaded a few other photos that I had sitting on my iPhone. Photos such as this awesome  sign that I saw on the weekend:


And this photo that I took for Dr. Dan:


As you know, Dan and I have a thing for disobeying signs while taking photos of us disobeying said signs go to sleep. Guess what I was about to do in that photo? If you guessed proceed through that door uncautiously, you win!

Also, I took a screenshot on my iPhone when I checked in on Foursquare at the Mercedes dealership when I took my Smart car in for its service appointment because the tip at the bottom was just too hilarious:


And with that, I am off to pack my bags for Portland and then play with my new Dragon Dictate2 some more before bed.  I love this vacation already!

  1. I’m the unofficial IT support person in my office, thanks to my mad computer skillz. Where “mad computer skillz” = I know how to use AutoFilter in Microsoft Excel and I know how to format things in Microsoft Word. []
  2. Believe it or not, Dragon Dictate just wrote “Dragon Dictate” as “Reagan Dictate.” FAIL! []


Random Photo-y Goodness

As I was looking at my photos yesterday, I realized that I had a bunch of screenshots and photos that I’ve been meaning to blog but never got around to. So today’s blog posting shall be a bunch of photo-y goodness.

Some of said images are of hilarious names that people give to their wireless networks, like “The I.T. Crowd”:


or “Broken Chicken Project”:


And of course this one1:

classy neighbours

Other good screen shots included:


Gotta love the blatant honesty of that one!

And thanks for this helpful direction, Google Maps:

152 St turns into 152 St

I would never have known where I was if you hadn’t told me that 152nd Streets turns into 152nd Street.

And who wouldn’t want to receive a message like this:


Sadly, the No Pants Skytrain Ride occurred at the same time as a hockey game this year, so I was unable to partake.

And this just sounds dirty:

Screen shot 2010-03-31 at 10.22.01 PM

Under the heading “Things I Can’t Believe People Would Google”:


Um, if they didn’t use the scientific method, they wouldn’t be scientists!

Moving on from screenshots to photos, my mom sent me this hand cream:


Look what it says on the back:

hand cream

Apply liberally as often as necessary? Isn’t it called “8 hour cream”? Shouldn’t that mean I only need to apply it once per every 8 hours?

I saw this in a store and couldn’t resist snapping a photo of it:


I pity the fool that doesn’t cook with Flavor Wave!

And I can’t believe I haven’t blogged this next one! It’s the shirt I had made for Dr. Dan for Christmas:


And finally, I saved the best for last: this drunk text I received over the Christmas holidays (with sender’s name redacted to protect her/him):

drunk text

  1. I still think that “Your mom is wireless” is the best one I’ve ever seen though []


Your Mom Is Wireless

No time to actually write anything of substance today ((I was in a day-long meeting and now I’m scarfing down a coffee and a bagel for dinner before class starts), so I thought I’d share this awesomeness, a screenshot of which I took yesterday:



How Do I…

While uploading the screen shots for yesterday’s blog posting to Flickr, I noticed that I had also taken this screen shot:

Screen shot 2010-03-15 at 11.12.52 PM

I guess you do the second Google search after you realize that following the advice from the first Google search was a bad idea?

I have a vague recollection that I was reading a blog posting where someone was talking about the funny things that come up when you do a Google search and I decided to test out one of them and that was what I got. Which I thought was hilarious. 1. And now I share it with you.  You’re welcome.

  1. Hilarious enough to take a screen shot, though not hilarious enough to post immediately, apparently []