Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese

By

CN Tower Edgewalk – Now With Video

Hey, remember that time I walked on the outside of one of the tallest buildings in the entire world? No? I can see how you’d have forgotten about it, since the photos I posted don’t nearly do justice to the terror of actually being there. Also not quite doing justice, but much closer to conveying the terror, is this video of the adventure, which was painstakingly uploaded to The YouTube by Dr. Dan:

Notice, if you will, how freaking HIGH we are. Those tiny looking buildings you see waaaaay below us are freaking SKYSCRAPERS!!

While I was on the YouTube page for this video, I noticed a button that I have never noticed before on a YouTube page. The button, when hovered over, says “Interactive Transcript”. Now, I’m guessing that this is supposed to be a transcript of the audio using some newfangled technological magic, but since our video consists of rather poor audio thanks to the 50 KM PER HOUR WIND (!), the transcript ended up being a bunch of gobbledygook. Naturally, I went through it all and picked up the funniest parts to share with you:

CN Tower Edgewalk Video Transcript 1
CN Tower Edgewalk Video Transcript 7
CN Tower Edgewalk Video Transcript 6
CN Tower Edgewalk Video Transcript 5

Also, I realized that I neglected to share with you a few photos that I took while we were safely *inside* the CN Tower after our adventure on the outside of the building.

First, this is the sign that tells you not to climb on the window of the SkyPod. I found it hilarious:

IMG_4037

And this is a photo of Dan, Nancy, & Jeff waiting on the left side of the elevator, next to a sign that says to wait on the right side. Because that’s the way this crew rolls.

IMG_4041

And lastly, here’s a picture of the emergency exit on the CN Tower observation level:

IMG_4042

The observation level is 160 stories up. In the event of an emergency, you are supposed to go to the outdoor deck… and then what?

In other news, now that I’ve leaned over the ledge of the CN Tower, I think I need to look into some skydiving!

By

I am the Honey Boo Boo of the CN Tower Edgewalk

So, for some reason I thought it was a good idea to go to one of the tallest buildings in the world on an extremely windy day and walk around the outside of it with only a couple of ropes keeping me from falling to my death 1,168 ft below. It’s called the CN Tower Edgewalk and it is by far the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Here we are before walking out to what could have been our doom:

CN Tower Edgewalk

Jeff, Nancy, Dr. Beth, Dr. Dan – the brave1 Edgewalkers! We look like astronauts!

The deal with the Edgewalk is that you get suited up in jumpsuit and harnesses and they secure said harness via ropes and whatnot to a railing that runs around the tower. And they take you on a walk around the tower, stopping along the way to have you put your toes over the edge of the walk way, and lean out over Toronto, both backwards and forwards.

Now, when we first stepped out, and I looked out across the city and down to the ground that was so very, very far away, I immediately thought, “OMG, I’m going to die, I want to turn around and go back!” But I took a few deeps breaths and steeled myself, against my better judgment, and kept going. I was by far the most chicken of the four of us and at several points I thought, “Can this be over now?” But it did get a bit easier the longer I was out there and each time I did the “lean back” over the city, it got slightly less terrifying to me. There were even moments where I was thrilled by the sights – it was super clear, so we could see Niagara Falls & Rochester, NY, in addition to seeing many Torontoian sites2.

CN Tower Edgewalk

One of my earlier “lean backs”. Where I barely leaned back at all because OMG DID I MENTIONED THAT I WAS TERRIFIED??

CN Tower Edgewalk

Dr. Dan, demonstrating a proper leaning back technique.

CN Tower Edgewalk

I freaking love this photo of Nancy & Jeff.

CN Tower Edgewalk

Group lean back!

Jeff said that my reactions of terror made the adventure that much more enjoyable for him. To which I replied, “I made everyone feel that much better about themselves when they saw that they were so much better than I was. I’m like the Honey Boo Boo3 of the CN Tower Edgewalk!”

At any rate, we all survived and I have now been able to cross item #44 off of my list of 101 things to do. Even on my vacation, I can’t help but be productive!

  1. Level of braveness may vary. []
  2. Like Lake Ontario, the RBC Building that is coated in gold, Billy Bishop City Centre Airport, just to name a few. []
  3. Honey Boo Boo, for the initiated, is a “reality” show on The “Learning” Channel about a child beauty pageant contestant from a red neck family in the southern US. The show has great ratings because people like to look at this family and think “They are so trashy” and then they feel better about themselves by comparison. []