Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


This and That

I have a whole bunch of things to say, but nothing that’s worth an entire blog posting. Hence, I give you this bulleted list1:

  • I went out for a run after work for the first time in about a gajillion years. Seeing as I’m claiming that I’m going to run a half marathon in May, actually running is a pretty good idea.
  • Related: I bought a new pair of Sugoi running pants, courtesy of a Groupon for Forerunners:

Day 246

  • The factory where my friend Kim works making freaking delicious fake meat products was on City TV. Check out the “tenders” (i.e., fake chicken fingers) that they are making in that video. So. Freaking. Delish.
  • I went for my consultation with the dating headhunter on Monday evening and they called yesterday afternoon with info on my two matches. They told me some info about each of them and took info on my availability – the next step is for them to find a time that I can go out for drinks after work with each of them and then they’ll send me the date/time/place and a photo so I know who I’m looking for. Oh yeah, and my prize includes a session with their dating coach, so that will get set up soon too. I’ll keep you posted.
  • I was Facetiming with Dr. Dan last night and, at the exact same time, my friend Patrice called on my cell and my sister & Jeff called me from Vegas on Google Voice. I hardly ever get phone calls2 and somehow I got three at the *exact same time.*
  • I totally want to make a Baked Alaska.
  • I’m contemplating playing hockey for 10 days straight in late August/early September.
  1. who doesn’t love a bulleted list? Hitler, that’s who []
  2. in part because my cell phone doesn’t get much reception at home and in part because people never talk on the phone anymore []


Check Out What I Won

In what I consider a hilarious juxtaposition with yesterday’s blog posting, I have to tell you about the prize that I’ve won.

I’m a big fan of entering contests. Thanks to weekly contests at Videomatica and the Georgia Straight, I’ve probably seen more movies via free passes to sneak previews than I have actually paid to see movies. Sure, you end up seeing some less than-stellar flicks such as Touristas and Piranha 3D, but hey, free is free. Anyway, I regularly enter any contest1 that doesn’t require me to actually do any real work2. But I digress.

So on Friday I got a phone call from Executive Search Dating – a dating headhunter service – that I’d won their Valentine’s Day prize pack. I go for a “consultation” this week and then they are going to match me up with two “high quality” matches. No low quality troglodytes are getting a date with me on their watch! In addition to setting you up with the matches, they also arrange the dates for you – making reservations at one of their “partner restaurants” and finding a mutually convenient time for both of you.

At any rate, I figure it can’t hurt to try. I’m sure not meeting anyone in my day-to-day life, which isn’t surprising given that I work in heath care (where almost everyone is female), I play hockey with women, I go to a yoga studio with mostly women3. Honestly, I don’t know where Vancouver is keeping all the men. So, really, why not try this headhunter? And if the dates go really, really terribly, then that will make for excellent blog postings4. So it’s a win either way, right?


In related news, I've tried the Blenz Red Band - you put this red band on your coffee cup to tell the world that you are single and approachable - twice now and not a single person talked to me. One time I was with another single friend and we both had the red band on our cups and the other time was a Saturday afternoon where I was working in the coffee shop for a couple of hours. Nothing. Fail. I also went to the launch party for Tingle, a new iPhone app for singles, on Friday. And the only people who ended up talking to my friend and me were three married guys who worked in software and were there for the app-ness, not the singleness. Triple fail.


  1. right now I’m trying to win a trip to Dublin for St. Patrick’s Day from the radio station I listen to in the mornings. I now listen to it at night so that I can get their hourly password and enter it into their website for more chances to win! I’m such a sucker for these types of marketing schemes []
  2. lazy > desire to win contests []
  3. and even on the rare occasion that a guy shows up, you aren’t allowed to talk in the yoga studio anyway []
  4. you have been warned , potential high quality matches! []