We’ve been seeing a lot of each other lately, what with me being in a running study that required me to run 4 days a week, but the one I really wanted to be with – The Outdoors – was too cold and dark before and after work, which are the only times on weekdays that I can engage in this type of activity. I have to say that I really have not enjoyed the time we’ve spent together these last 12 weeks. To be honest, you are very boring and very monotonous. Every second I was on you was like an hour – I kept looking at the clock and waiting for it to be over. Every time I was with you, I was longing to be with The Outdoors instead. I tried to imagine what it would be like to be back in the warm embrace of The Outdoors, who makes running joyful instead of sucking the life out of me, the way you do. On weekends during this time, I was with The Outdoors and you didn’t even notice.
And now The Outdoors is starting to let up on the darkness. Each morning, The Outdoors starts to light up a bit earlier and so I can finally leave you, and return to where I belong.
So, dear Treadmill, I’m breaking up with you. It’s not me, it’s you.
P.S. I might come back to the gym sometimes, but not to see you. I have my eyes on those nice weights in the corner. I hope you don’t make things awkward.