Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


Happy Halloween!

So given that omg so busy, I didn’t really have as much time to put into my Halloween costume as I have in previous years. In fact, I even had to outsource idea generation! Fortunately, Jeff, my brother-in-common-law, is the greatest Halloween costume inventor in the history of the universe, so a quick consultation with him resulted in an idea of something that was clever and that I could make relatively quickly and easily. So this year, my costume was Google Maps:

Google Maps Halloween costume

Now, Google Maps in and of itself is not an original idea – it’s been done before. But Jeff always finds a way to take Halloween costumes up a level. Like my niece’s fairy costume last year where it was rigged up so that when she reached her arms forward to hold out her candy bag, her wings would go up. Or my nephew’s backhoe costume this year where all the parts of the backhoe actually move. So the thing that made my costume extra clever was that, since I was wearing it for work today, I made the map actually show the location of my office building *and* when I pulled up the main shirt, I had another shirt underneath with a “Street View” of my office building:

Google Maps Halloween costume

People at work really got a kick out of it, especially when they realized that it was our actual location. Though one friend of mine said that I should have been dressed as Apple Maps because I have such a terrible sense of direction.

At any rate, I was very pleased with how my costume turned out, especially since i had so little time to work on it. And so I hereby declare Jeff, brother-in-common-law extraordinaire, to be the Official Costume Consultant of Not to Be Trusted with Knives, with all the rights and privileges afforded thereto1.

  1. Note: there are neither rights nor privileges associated with this role. []


#37 – Going West

Sarah wrote a piece on her blog about the expanding world in which she lives, starting with her earliest memories in which the street she lived on was her entire universe to being a world traveller with friends all over the globe.   Although I’m not nearly as travelled as Sarah is1, I thought I’d give this a try myself. But rather than an expansion, my life has been more of the proverbial3 “Go West”.

For the first 18 years of my life, I lived in the same place – in the town of Milton, Ontario, in a little house on the corner of a street and a crescent4. My best friend lived on the crescent, three houses away.  My elementary school was about a two minute walk – I could literally hear the bell ring from my house and make it into class on time.

At 18 I moved slightly west and a bit south to the city of Hamilton to attend McMaster University.  I lived in residence for my first year, spent that first summer back in my parents’ place and then headed back to Hamilton where I lived the next two years in an apartment on the west edge of the city.  After that I moved back to Milton5 and lived in an apartment for the next two years while I did my last year at Mac and my year-long Master’s degree at the University of Guelph. Guelph being again further west.

After Guelph, I made the big move west – to British Columbia.  At first I lived in Burnaby, BC, but that only lasted about 8 months as it turned out that driving the 20 km from Burnaby to school takes a friggin’ hour (!) and the Skytrain, to my great surprise, didn’t go to the university.  The possibility that Skytrain might not go to the university hadn’t even occured to me. I mean, who would build a city where the rapid transit doesn’t go to the university where 50,000 people have to go every day, right?  So, yeah, I moved, yet again, further west to W. 16th Avenue, near the university and lived there for about five years.

My last move was a short one – it happened when my ex and I split up – I stayed in the same ‘hood, but moved to sublet a friends’ basement suite, just for the summer.  That was just more than three years ago!

Here’s a Google Map of all the moving goodness:

View Places I’ve Lived & Gone to School in a larger map

Except it doesn’t have my current place on it, because I don’t need the paparazzi showing up.

1Sarah and her husband Dave go on, by my latest count, at least 12 cruises per year and they are starting their new son, Teddy, off with his first cruise at the tender age of 8 months2! My neice by 18 months of age and my thesis have both been on more contenents than I, but who’s counting?
2Not that I’m complaining. Their cruise leaves from Vancouver, which means that *I* get to see them! And I can’t wait!
3If not actually “proverbially” at least the “Pet-Shop-Boys-songial”
4My parents still live there to this day!
5My then-husband hated his job in Hamilton, so he went back to a job he’d had in Milton. He didn’t have a driver’s license, so we moved to Milton to so he could get to work and I drove to school.

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My Half Birthday Slurpee Adventure in Map Form

For those of you who are *dying* to know exactly how far Kalev and I walked during our great Slurpee adventure yesterday – 5.8 km1.

Google Map of Slurpee Adventure locations

Props to Kalev for making this super map, which includes not only the 7-11 stops, but our various other bathroom/Lululemon knockoff clothing/sex toy & bookshop browsing stops.

1That’s 3.6 miles, for my American readers.