Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


It’s Panic Time


There are only 21 days until Christmas until Christmas and I have NO IDEA what to get anyone! Eep!

I went to the New West Christmas craft market on the weekend in the hopes of finding some good gift ideas, and while there was lots of nice stuff (and tonnes of people looking at it), there was nothing that jumped out at me as a good gift idea for anyone on my list1. Also, I hate malls all the time, but I hate them with a fire of a thousand suns during the holidays, so I really don’t fancy the idea of wandering aimless around a mall looking for ideas.

Does anyone have any good gift ideas for my mother, sister, brother-in-common-law, niece, nephew, and/or friends2?

Here’s a portrait of me, right now, thinking about Christmas shopping:


Image Credits:


  1. Save for a couple of little items, like stocking stuffer type stuff, and something for the Secret Santa that my hockey team is doing that is unbelievably perfect for said hockey team. []
  2. True story: I started writing this blog posting earlier tonight and had “boyfriend” on that list, but before I finished writing this we decided that since we are planning a trip in the new year, that our trip will be our present to each other. Because neither of us knows what to get each other, nor do we have any idea of what we want. Other than a trip. []


I’m on to you, time thieves!


Clearly, someone is stealing time. A few days ago (or so it feels), I was jumping into the ocean for the New Year’s Day Polar Bear Swim and now it is somehow 28 days later. Since two weekends ago was my big birthdaystravaganza, I blocked last weekend off to stay at home1 for a combination of some relaxation and some getting a bunch of work done. Then somehow it was Sunday and I wasn’t relaxed and  I didn’t get nearly as much done as I’d planned. I did get the 7 reference letters I needed written mostly done, as well as doing some work on the course I’m teaching, but I didn’t read any of the bioethics papers I needed to read, nor watch the bioethics DVD, nor even start on the funding application I meant to have a solid draft of by the end of the weekend!  And now it’s somehow the next weekend and other than a few hours this morning during which I’m enjoying my coffee, some homemade French toast, not wearing any pants2, and writing this posting, this weekend is pretty jammed. I spent last night working on my course3, but the rest of the weekend is mostly full of awesome – walking the seawall with Jen and Lianna’s bday dinner today, then two hockey games tomorrow. Other than a couple of hours between seawall walking and pre-drinks at Lianna’s during which I can do a tiny bit of work, when the hell am I supposed to get my funding application started? What about getting my funding application drafted? And half marathon training? And cooking some food for the upcoming week? When am I supposed to do all these things?

The obvious conclusion, of course, is that someone out there is stealing time. I’m having vague recollections of a book I read in elementary school about some kid named Momo and some bankers that stole time and something to do with flowers4. Clearly this was actually a non-fiction book and not a novel as I was lead to believe. Alternate conclusions include that someone is speeding up time, so that I can’t get everything done in the amount of time that I think I can get it done or that I have multiple personality disorders and my other personalities are very productive and/or relaxed.  Hard to say, really.

And now it’s freaking noon and I have to get my butt in gear – I only have an hour to shower and pack my bag for today’s events. Where did my morning go?  See what I mean??

Image Credit: Posted by Heiko Klingele on Flickr.

  1. other than my weekly seawall walk with Jen and my hockey game []
  2. down with pants! cc: Dr. Dan, hater of pants []
  3. see here, but then also here []
  4. Ah – Wikipedia tells me I’m right. Except about the flowers things – no idea what that’s about []