Not To Be Trusted With Knives

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NaBloPoMo – Day 21 – Parking Dilemma

So I was at UBC this evening to teach and when I was parking in the Health Sciences Parkade, this is what I saw as parking options:

Parking meter’s ridiculous options

Gee, I wonder what the better option is for parking until 12 am?

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Jobs That LinkedIn Inexplicably Thinks I’m Qualified For

Every week, LinkedIn sends me an email of suggested job postings for me to check out1. It titles the email like this:

Beth: [Name of employer], [Name of employer], and [Name of employer] are looking for candidates like you!

and has “Top job picks for you!” written at the top of the email.

Now, you’d think with all the references to *me* and the fact that LinkedIn has my detailed resume of my actual educational and job history, they might be able to suggest jobs that I’m actually qualified for. And it wouldn’t be hard, one would think, to find jobs that I have the credentials for, given that I have a plethora of them.

However, for the vast majority of the jobs they suggest, I am in no way qualified. Some of my favourite of their outlandish suggestions include:

  • Operating Room Nurse – I am not a nurse
  • Cosmetic Plastic Surgeon – Though I am a doctor, I am not that kind of doctor
  • Senior Economist, Government of Alberta – I don’t know that 4 modules of econ classes that I took in my MBA quite qualify me to be a senior economist. An economist maybe….
  • Senior Water Resources Research Engineer – nope
  • Instructor in the Piping Department at a local Institute of Technology – I don’t even know what this means
  • Canada Research Chair in Advanced Manufacturing at a different Institute of Technology – Umm…
  • Instructor in Sculpture a local Art College University – I don’t even know where to start with this one
  • Head Coach for a Women’s Basketball Team at a local college – this must be due to my long and storied career as a 5 ft tall basketball player
  • Spiritual Care Advisor in a health organization – I know I am ordained, but I don’t think this really what they’d be looking for (and it’s not listed on my LinkedIn profile)
  1. This, despite the fact that I love my job and am not looking for a new one. []