Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese

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Happy 6th Birthday, Watson & Crick

In honour of the sixth birthday of my little fuzzballs, I give you this video of them chasing a laser pointer. I accidentally filmed it in slow motion, which means that the times when they sit and stare at the red dot seem even more absurdly long than in real life, but the parts where they chase and jump are hilarious – I especially love the sound!

The kitties were spoiled today with new toys and some special treats – though I’m not sure any toy can be more appreciated than a box!

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Crick enjoying the new box

Watson in a box

Happy birthday, fuzzballs!

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For The Record

In tangentially related news to yesterday’s posting (in that it’s about hockey), I’ve been meaning to post the following two screenshots from the summer season. First up is the stats for the regular season and would you look at that, my name is right at the top1!

Team Leader for Points! Summer 2017

This is the first time I’ve *ever* been the points leader on my team and, since it very may well be the *only* time that ever happens, I figured I should capture it for posterity. I would also like to add that the number of goals I scored is in error – I actually got three, but my third goal was credited to someone else on the team by mistake (the refs and/or scorekeepers don’t always record these things correctly). Which means I should have been second highest goal scorer as well (and the first highest of our regular players, as the person who got the most goals on our team was a spare who scored all of those goals in the one game they played for us). Unless of course one of the other people who are recorded as having 2 goals also had one of their goals erroneously credited to someone else.

Next up is the stats for the playoffs, and would you look at that, there I am at the top again!Team Leader for Points! Summer Playoffs 2017Unfortunately, there was also a scorekeeping error here, as the goal they credited me with was not my goal – it was someone else’s that they gave to me by mistake. So really, it should be a four-way tie for points leaders for the playoffs, with 4 of us each having 1 point (We only played two playoff games before we got knocked out, so not really a lot of opportunity to score goals, especially given that we were last place and we played both our games against first place.) But I still was one of those people, as I got an assist in the first game, so it’s not technically incorrect for me to be at the top of this list.

Now, what accounts for this spectacular showing on the scoreboard, after what feels like ages of me getting very, very few points? I think that it’s probably the fact that I got a new stick:

But also I have been working out 3 days a week for six months now, so I’m pretty sure that’s not hurting either. At any rate, here’s hoping it continues into this season – I am currently tied for second place (with three other people at 1 point each) for points this season so far (though at only 3 games into the season, it’s probably too early to be bragging about such things. Probably.).

  1. Ignore the fact that there was a very, very low number of goals scored by my team in this 14 game season. That’s not what’s important here, people! []

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Beth and Sidney’s Excellent Adventure

So I have a new hockey team this season – we are called the Penguins! On this team, they have a tradition. The player of the game is awarded a Sidney Crosby stuffy, which they get to keep until the next game. And during that time they must take Sidney on an adventure, which they must photograph and send to the team. Apparently Sidney has gone on a variety of adventures – he’s gone mountain biking, he’s gone to the spa, he’s played dress up, he’s gone for an acupuncture treatment, and so on.

Well, as luck would have it, I was awarded this great honour in my second game on the team, which we played this past Sunday. The honour was bestowed upon me for scoring a goal with just 4 seconds left in the game. The goal was one for the highlight reel – a beautiful wrist shot, top shelf! Or perhaps I just skated up to the goalie, who quite possibly wasn’t expecting anything to actual happen in the last 4 seconds of the game, took a shot right at her which she easily stopped, but it fell between her knees and then when I kept skating towards her hoping to poke at the rebound, she fell over backwards and knocked the puck into her own net. It could have been either of these things, really. I guess we’ll never know! At any rate, my teammate kindly named me player of the game for my never-give-up attitude and making the other team’s goalie, who was quite spectacular all game, look silly. And so it was that I brought this hottie home with me:

Sidney came home from the rink with me!

Watson and Crick smelled him for an unusually long time (They smell pretty much everything I bring into the condo, but usually it’s a few sniffs and they are on their way. But the each spent several minutes smelly every inch of this guy!)

Crick smelling Sidney

Watson smelling Sidney

Now, I only had a few days in which to adventure with Sid, as our next game, when I had to pass him along to the next player of the game, was tonight (Wednesday). So I really only had Monday and Tuesday and I was working those days, plus I am teaching a class at UBC on Tuesday nights this semester. So Sidney ended up having a very nerdy adventure. He came to work with me (I actually had him at the table during our team meeting1 and one of my team members was like “He’s staring at me!!”):

Sidney

Sidney

And then on Tuesday night, he helped me give my lecture on business strategy and marketing:

Sidney gives a guest lecture

Students cut out of the photo to protect privacy! But I wanted a photo with students in it to prove that I didn’t just take him to a lecture hall and pretend to have him in my class!

And finally, we ended our hard day’s work with a fine beer from Steel & Oak:Sidney

  1. which I totally neglected to get a photo of. Epic fail! []

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Things Fall Apart

Apparently all the things got together and decided that they should fall apart this year. You’ve already heard about my car’s clutch actuator and my kobo1 and my toilet and my mouth and my cat’s mouth. In addition to those things, the following other things decided that they too should fall apart:

  • my bathroom counter top. Specifically, the edge of it that came loose:Bathroom counterAnd before I got a chance to buy some Gorilla glue to fix it, I accidentally leaned on it and snapped that piece off. I glued it back on and since it’s on the side, I don’t think anyone will really notice (other than that I’ve now pointed it out to the whole world).
  • my bathroom floor. Specifically, the transition strip between my bathroom floor and my walk-through closet’s floor, which came loose:Transition stripGorilla glue also solved that problem.
  • my dresser. Specifically, the dresser that Kalev gave me way back when he moved to Toronto a million years ago.Kitties exploring my broken dresserOver the last little while, the drawers of the dresser started to slide less smoothly. And then the little plastic slider thingys and all their associated ball bearings started to fall out. Now only the top two drawers can actually be opened and closed without falling off their rails.In fairness to the dresser, it was from Ikea and was moved from Kalev’s place to my place in Vancouver, then to my place in Surrey, then to my first place in New West and then to my current place, which means it’s survived four more moves than can reasonably be expected from a piece of Ikea furniture. I thank it for its service. I’ve ordered a new dresser, one that will go with the rest of my bedroom set and should last me a very long time (locally made, solid wood, costs a stupid amount of money), so in 5-7 weeks I will have a new home for my clothes.
  • my kitchen cupboard door. Specifically the cupboard door that I opened the other day to retrieve something from said cupboard and then it fell completely off its hinges. Given how heavy it was and the fact that I wasn’t prepared to hold up its entire weight with my fingertips on the little handle, it dropped to the counter top beneath the cupboard, where it knocked a wine bottle that landed hard on my foot2 and it knocked over my glass of wine, so my kitchen ended up covered in red wine!
    Cabinet door fell off!

    Every time I go into the kitchen, I instinctively reach up to close the non-existent cupboard door

    Here’s the piece of the hinge on the cupboard frame:

    Broken dresser

    And here’s the piece on the cupboard door:Broken dresser

    It’s hard to tell from the pictures, but they are both a little warped, so I went and bought replacement hinges at Home Depot and I guess fixing it is on the to-do list for this weekend.

In addition to all those things, I also re-sprained my left ankle (stupidly, I was running for a Skytrain and rolled it again), which has made my right hip tight again. However, I’m attempting to learn from my previous mistakes and instead of just thinking it’s OK after a few weeks and running on it, I’ve been going to massage and physio and dutifully stretching out my hip so that it won’t continue on to bursitis again. I asked specifically requested the physio give me some ankle strengthening exercises to do, since no one gave me any the first time I sprained my ankle but clearly my ankle is wimpy and needs to do something about it.

To add injury to injury, last weekend on an easy stroll through Lighthouse Park I rolled my right ankle! It didn’t feel great for a few days, but it seems OK today (*knocks on wood*). Sigh.

Tangentially related: This sign was set up like this in my office and my new hire asked if it was indicative of the quality of the office coffee. For the record, it is.

This sign in my office does, in fact, reflect the quality of the office coffee

  1. Incidentally, I did get a new kobo, but my new kobo needs a name []
  2. Thankfully, my foot broke its fall so that the wine bottle didn’t break! []