Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


It Wouldn’t Be Vancouver if We Weren’t Talking About the Weather

It rained in Vancouver yesterday, so naturally everyone was all “WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET SUMMER?????” and then I was all “Um, didn’t we have like 2 weeks of straight sunshine? Haven’t we had summer weather pretty much since April??” And then I was like this:

So then I decided to go to the data. According to, this has been our rainfall in Vancouver for the past two weeks:

Rainfall over the last 2 weeks

So we haven’t had *straight* sunshine for two weeks leading up to yesterday’s rainy day – we had a whooping 0.6 mm of rain on Aug 2 and 1.8 mm on Aug 3. And then no other rain in the past two weeks!

And then I looked at the temperatures. According to Accuweather, we had temperatures at or above the historical average for:

  • 28 of 30 days in April
  • 29 of 31 days in May
  • 24 of 30 days in June
  • 27 of 31 days in July
  • 5 of the 10 days so far in August1

Here are the graphs, because all data should always be graphed2!

April 2016 temperatures

May 2016 temperature

June 2016 temperatures

July 2016 temperatures

August 2016 temperatures

Now, I realize that last summer it was even hotter and much, much drier. So much drier that we were on water restrictions due to the drought were experiencing3. But this summer has been warm and sunny here in Vancouver and I’m actually sad that it’s on its way out – sunset is coming noticeably earlier and I’m having to think about whether I need to bring a sweater with me when I go out if I’m going to be out until the evening, which I haven’t had to do for quite some time. But I am glad that we’ve had a long summer and I do plan to enjoy the remaining above average temperatures we have coming for the rest of this month!

  1. With a forecast that we’ll be at or above historical average temperatures from now until Aug 29. []
  2. Note that I didn’t make the graphs – I just took screenshots from Accuweather. []
  3. And as much as I love the heat, I prefer not having all the plants dying and not worrying if we were going to run out of water! []


Summer Has Arrived!

It’s taken until July, but summer has finally arrive in Vancouver. Huzzah!

Just the other day, Dr. Dan was lamenting that it was eleventy billion degrees in Guelph and I asked him to send some of that heat out west, where we were still getting winter weather1.

And then this happened: Central Canada heat eases as West warms up. Thanks, Dr. Dan!

This past week, and this weekend, have been gloriously full of summertime weather! And some of the summertime activities I’ve partaken in include:

  • working from my coffeeshop patio office instead of the icy concrete box (a.k.a., my actual office) one afternoon
  • biking along the boardwalk with my friend Patrice
  • going for a walk along the boardwalk with Devon to check out the new Pier Park, which Patrice showed me on the aforementioned bike ride
  • exploring some of the bike paths of new West on a nice 10 km bike ride
  • patronizing2 my local Farmers’ Market on my way home from work, where I bought the most delicious local strawberries and raspberries in the history of berry-dom, along with some kale and potatoes.
  • doing homework from another coffeeshop patio office while enjoying a light caramel frapp3
  • doing homework on my balcony, with a beautiful view of the river4
  • making a delicious Greek salad with oregano from my very own balcony herb garden5.
  • enjoying a delicious Granville Island False Creek Raspberry Ale6
  • sitting on my balcony, chatting with my sister on the phone!

Clearly, there are still many more summertime things to do. Things involving beaches and hiking and BBQs and drinks on patios with friends. Happily, the forecast is sunshine as far as the eye can see and plans are being hatched for all of the above! But now – it’s time to go run 9 km! And since it’s summertime, I can do that at 8 pm and it will still be daylight outside!

  1. Vancouver winters, of course, are of course, 10 degrees and raining. []
  2. I’ve just discovered that “patronizing” (as in being a customer or) and “patronizing” (as in treating as if you are superior to) are spelled the same way. That is inconvenient to me as a writer. []
  3. Which I discovered has only 100 Calories if you buy a tall one with no whip. []
  4. I know that “homework” might not sound very sumertime-y to most, but there is not rest for an MBA student, even in the summer! []
  5. Thanks to Devon’s brother Tyrone and his girlfriend, whose name I can’t even begin to spell, who gave us said herb garden []
  6. Sarah, you have to come visit me in the summer time so you can try this. It’s delicious! []


Dear Summer

Where the F did you go?  I remember it being May and then I looked away for a moment and now it’s September. W. T. F.?

And yes, I know that summer doesn’t officially end until September 211, but everyone knows that Labour Day is the *real* last day of summer. Mercifully, we have a late Labour Day this year, so at least we get one more week before school starts back up2 and everyone returns from holidays and work goes back up to full steam ahead3.  And, seriously, I don’t know where the summer went. I only did the Grind ONCE this summer!  I can count the number of times I went to the beach on one hand! And I live in a place that’s *surrounded by beaches.*  I haven’t played any tennis!

On the plus side, we had awesome weather4, I got a great new job5, I ran a half marathon6 and despite vacationlessness, Tod and I managed to get away for a lovely weekend in Harrison.  But still.  I heart you, Summer!  Maybe you’ll stick around for a little while longer?

  1. or is it September 22? I never remember how that works and a quick Google search did not answer this for me []
  2. which means the course I’m teaching needs to be ready to go by next week! Eep! []
  3. not that I — vacationless in my new job until January — haven’t been going full steam. But everyone else will be back and so I won’t be getting anymore of the out-of-office replies, to which I’ve become so accustomed, to my emails []
  4. I <3 heat waves []
  5. fingers crossed I can keep it through the cuts! []
  6. and am about halfway through the training for my next one []