Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


You’ll have to excuse me, I’m not at my best

I’ve been gone for two weeks, I’ve been drunk since I left
These so-called vacations will soon be my death
I’m so sick from the drink, I need home for a rest!

OK, that may be a bit of an exaggeration… but it’s a good song nonetheless.

So, I’m home now. I had a very restful two weeks visiting family and friends in Toronto, which was exactly what I needed. I was SO burnout when I left and a fortnight of doing little to no thinking was exactly what I needed. I stayed with my sister and my neice, who don’t have internet access set up at their new place (they, like me, just moved), so I was out of the blogosphere for a while there. After the initial withdrawal symptoms, I decided that being “unplugged” for a little while was good for me.

Anyway, since I’ve been away for a while, I thought I’d present you with a summary of My Vacation in Numbers:

  • days away: 17
  • items of clothing brought, but not worn: 33
  • hours slept during the 3 days at the conference: 7
  • cost of trip from London, ON to T.O.: $0*
  • movies watched: 4.5
  • subway trips taken: 29
  • hot guys that hit on me in subway stations: 3
  • new pairs of shoes obtained: 3
  • new purses obtained: 2
  • # of those shoes/purses that I actually bought myself: 0**
  • cost of pedicure & fake nails manicure: $70
  • amount that I actually paid for this myself: $0**
  • days before I broke one of the nails: 2
  • total number of nails broken (so far): 3
  • appreciation level of Torontians for my awesome footwear, relative to that of Vancouverites: ~10%
  • new words/phrases we taught my 19 month old neice: 8*
  • Zanta sitings: 3
  • galas attended: 1
  • new restaurants/pubs/bars experienced: 15

Well, there you have it! Now you all there is to know about my trip!

*thanks for the ride, Nicole

**thanks Mom!

***at least… I have a feeling that there were more, but I can remember 8 for sure (Aunt Beth, crazy talk, blueberries, mauve, burgandy, Huggies, excuse me, tempeh… she already knew a ridiculous amount of words* before I got there, so there wasn’t much left to teach her**)

****seeing as I know no other 19 month olds, I’m really not qualified to judge if the amount of words she knows makes her a complete genius or completely average, but I’m going to take an aunt’s perogative and say “she’s a complete genius!”

5 Responses to You’ll have to excuse me, I’m not at my best

  1. Jorge says:

    You forgot:

    – Awesome Indian Meals eaten with cool people: 1

  2. Beth says:

    Actually, that would be:

    – Awesome Indian Meals eaten with cool people: 2

    as my sister, my neice and I went to Indian Flavour in the Atrium, which was also good.

    I also forgot to include:

    – Meeting up with cool bloggers and their wife: 1
    – Photos taken of my eyes & shoes to appease my over-inflated ego: a whole roll full!

  3. Jorge says:



    I didn’t want to mention that here.
    But you do have nice eyes and feet/shoes.

    I’ll have to post one of those soon on Figtography

  4. Dave says:

    I think you neglected to include the number of unattractive and/or crazy people that hit on you in subway stations. Cause there had to be a few of those too, unless you were in, like, the subway station of the gods. In which case: where can I go about finding that place?

  5. Beth says:

    Interestingly, there were only like two uglies that hit on me in the subway. And they weren’t even *that* ugly… what I want to know, Dave, is why do *you* want to know which subway station all the hot guys hang out in?

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