Having a PhD Can and Will Be Held Against Me
There’s a lot of pressure that comes with having a Ph.D. People expect you to know stuff. And they expect that you won’t go around doing stupid things. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to do airheaded things… often. For example, I discovered yesterday that I had made a pot of tea the day before and then forgot to drink it. Apparently, I just made a pot of tea and then it completely slipped my mind not only that I had made the tea, but that I had even wanted the tea to begin with! I regularly go to the kitchen and then forget why I went in there. Or I open up a computer program and then can’t remember what I opened it for.
Other airheaded things I have done of late* include:
- I lost an entire year’s worth of photos, somewhere in my apartment.
- I lost my food guide record today. I looked everywhere for it. It turned out that it was on my desk, pretty much right in front of my face.
- I got hit in the head with my own surfboard.
- I took some friends who were visiting Vancouver for a walk in Pacific Spirit Park and got us lost for almost 2 hours.
- This one time, I cut my finger on my own hair.
And anytime I do one of these airheaded things, someone will inevitably say, “Ph.D., eh? I guess they give those out to just anyone!” So, for the record, I hereby present a list of things that I do not have my Ph.D. in:
- remembering who I have told certain stories, even if I’ve already told them said story 3 or more times
- remembering people’s names
- direction, sense thereof
- maturity
- acting my age
- looking my age
- English grammar*
Also, here is a list of things that I should have a Ph.D. in:
- sexy shoe-ology
- emailing
- history of magical education
- charm
- blogging
*if anyone can remember other airheaded things that I’ve done, please feel free to share in the comment section!
**so get off my back about using the word “ain’t”, Mom!
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PhD = Permanent Head Damage