Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


#mayhealth begets #junehealth

A long, long time ago1, in a galaxy far, far away2, I told you about a little thing called the May Health Challenge. The challenge, as it were, was to do something for your health for 30 days. The challenges I chose were:

  1. eat breakfast every morning
  2. doing some form of physical activity every day

So, I’m sure you are wondering: how did I do? Well, far be it from me to keep you in suspense. To the spreadsheet!

The good news first: I accomplished challenge #1 by eating breakfast every single day. It wasn’t always the healthiest breakfast, but it was never terrible and I managed to do it every single day.

I wasn’t quite so successful with challenge #2, but I managed 26 of 30 days. Those other four days – well, quite honestly, I forgot. I seriously got through entire days where I got so busy that went through my whole day, then went to bed, without even remembering I was supposed to do some exercise. Usually I would remember the next day when I was trying to decide what to have for breakfast (since, for some reason, I never seemed to forgot that my other challenge was to eat breakfast!). On the plus side, I went running FIVE times, which is more than all the times I went running in 2012 prior to May! So, yay me!

In celebration of the success of the May Health Challenge, the Guelphites who created the Challenge, had a par-tay today, which I just now as I’m typing this am remembering I totally meant to Skype into (oops!). Since I wasn’t able to attend the festivities in person and partake of the celebratory treats, I decided to make a treat of my own3. Specifically, this coffeecake:

I know it looks like a big cookie, but it is, in fact, a coffeecake.


Close up!

So, now that May Health is over, I’m sure you are wondering what I’m going to do next4. Well, I feel like I haven’t really made these two health behaviours into real habits yet, so I’m extending the May Health Challenge into a June Health Challenge – going to see if I can eat breakfast every day for another 30 days, and actually do some physical activity every single day too! Wish me luck!

  1. By which I mean 30 days ago. []
  2. By which I mean, right here []
  3. I also realized that it is the last day of May and since I’m trying to bake something different every month for one year as per item #25 in my 101 list, I needed to bake something today to keep up with that. In related news, Devon is a big fan of item #25. []
  4. Actually, I’m pretty sure you weren’t wondering that at all. []


Once You Go Black…

So, remember how I mentioned that Devon has some mad bartending skills? Well, he picked up those skills when he lived in the UK, where he just so happened to be a bartender. And while being a bartender in the UK, he also picked up a love of Blavod, a jet black vodka that is made and sold there. Ever since he’s moved back, he’s been trying to find it here, but to no avail1. Until now. Because someone – who I think deserves the Girlfriend of the Year award – managed to track some down. In Port freaking Coquitlam!

The picture doesn’t really do it justice, because that could just be a black bottle. But trust me, it’s jet black vodka inside!

I was able to track this little puppy down because I have connections. By which I mean an Internet connection. And I used that Internet connection to email the Blavod people. And, as luck would have it, the Blavod people had quite recently struck a deal with a distributor in Vancouver and had even more recently just shipped some Blavod here! After some waiting for the Blavod to clear customs and then more waiting2 because the BC Liquor Store through which I put my order kept saying that it wasn’t in the distributor’s warehouse (even though the distributor was all “uh, yeah, it is!”), the distributor put me in touch with a little liquor store in PoCo that had the goods!

So tonight after work, I told Devon that we were going on a little drive because I had a surprise for him! Because, did I mention?, Girlfriend of the Year AND I love theatrics! And off we went to the Select Liquor in Port Coquitlam, with Devon having no idea where I was taking him3 where I walked up to the vodka section, and there it was! I’d like to give props to the Select Liquor store, who actually carries this stuff, because wtf BC Liquor Store, who took my order several weeks ago and continues to tell me that their system says that the distributor doesn’t have any  Blavod in their warehouse when clearly it does? They only had about 9 bottles in stock though – and we bought 2 of them – so if you want to get some jet black vodka of your own, I suggest you go their posthaste!

Sadly, tonight is a Monday and I have a bucketload of studying to do this week4, so we couldn’t just dive into the bottles and start making drinks of awesomeness. So you’ll have to wait for a future blog posting where you actually get to see the Blavod in all it’s Blavodian goodness!

  1. Well, other than that apparently you can buy it at some liquor store in Boston. You know, if you felt like driving 5,000+ km for a bottle of booze []
  2. And all through the waiting I kept saying to my sister “omg, when is the Blavod going to get heeeeerreeee??? Because I was dying to tell Devon that I’d found it, but I didn’t want to ruin the surprise! []
  3. Though he did not that we weren’t too far from the shooting range we went to on my birthday! []
  4. As I have two exams this weekend, plus a case memo due on Friday. []


Why do people insist on referring to all of the city of Vancouver as “downtown”?

Why do people insist on referring to all of the city of Vancouver as “downtown”?  I seem to have this equivalent of this conversation on a regular basis:

Me:                             Have you ever been to The Naam (or some other location in Vancouver that is not downtown) ?

Other Person:        No, I hardly ever go downtown.

Me:                            Oh, it’s not downtown. It’s in Kits.

Other Person:        ???

Then today, I saw this in an email from Groupon:

Kits does not equal Downtown

It’s called KITSILANO Laser and Spa Centre. Kitsilano is a neighbourhood in Vancouver that is *not* downtown.

There is a part of Vancouver – a very *small* part of Vanccouver, I might add – that is known as “downtown”. It’s written right on the map!

Here, I have annotated the map for you:


I trust this clears things up for everyone, yes?



Do You Have A Financial Guy?


So, remember that time I paid off my student loans? I do, because it was the best day ever in the history of ever. Well, that was back in early April and it means that now, at the end of every month, I am finding myself the proud owner of $1,800 that used to just tragically disappear from my bank account. I actually have my paycheque set up so that a (very large) portion of it goes to a completely separate account (instead of my main chequing account) and from which automatic payments were drawn every month to pay my student loans. It made me feel better to not have to see that money go into my chequing account and then disappear – I was able to pretend that I just made a lot less money than I do. But now that money goes into that separate account, but it doesn’t get taken out!

So now I’m faced with the very First World Problem of what to do with that money. Well, actually, not *now* as I’m also faced with the very, very First World Problem that my scholarship is being doled out to me at a slower rate than my tuition fees are coming due1, so I’m having to front the money to pay tuition (and thus it’s very fortuitous that this money has been liberated right now). But shortly my scholarship income should catch up to my tuition fee output and *then* I’ll really need to figure out something to do with this cash.

Calculator and MoneyWith all this in mind, I decided that it was time to talk to a financial planner. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I’m a total delinquent with my money. I’m contributing to pensions and RRSP and TFSA and saving for my 40th birthday trip extravaganza 2. But I think I need to sit down with someone to look at my whole financial picture and do some long-term planning.

My friend Martha recommended her financial guy and I went and met with him this week. He seemed pretty good, but he suggested that I should probably meet with a few financial planners to see who would be the best fit for me3. So I’m wondering if anyone has any recommendations for financial planners?

Image Credit: All the images in this posting were posted on Flickr by 401K with a Creative Commons license. I kind of love this person’s photos!

  1. Which is a subject for a whole other blog posting. []
  2. For which you only have 1,694 days left to save if you are planning to come with me, by the way! []
  3. Which, funnily enough, gives me more confidence in him! []


Random Photos and Suchlike

Here’s a bunch of random pics and screenshots that I’ve taken lately to blog about, but then promptly forgot, and then recently discovered.

Saw this in a pharmacy:

Spelling "Stationery" - U R Doing It Wrong!

I can assure you that they were not selling a lack of movement in this aisle.

I tweeted this next photo a while back, but figured I’d share it here for people who aren’t on The Twitter. I saw these two books next to each other in Chapters:

Harper totally wants to eat that cat.

Harper is clearly thinking: “That kitten looks DELICIOUS!”

Not sure how autocorrect came up with this one:

sexist cupcakes

And this I found amusing – apparently the Daily Deal sites have really got my number:

beer and economics

Klout, however, seems a bit confused:
Klout 1
Klout 2I can see how it would think I’m influential about hockey and coffee and Vancouver (or, at least that I talk about them a lot), but homosexuality and babies? What the what?

Here’s an example of a spam email that wasn’t very well thought out when it was sent to Gmail addresses:

Is your Gmail active?

Validating “packages”? Tee hee!

validating packages

I’m glad to see that this washing machine is “in sock”:

this product is "in sock"

This next one is a screen shot from a survey – I took it so long ago, I can’t be exactly sure, but I think it might be from the Georgia Strait’s Best of Vancouver survey. The auto complete of commonly given answers made me laugh:

edu institute

And this one is a screen shot from a very, very long time ago. I know that because it’s from an online dating website survey where you have to fill in what you are looking for:

Who the hell finds "intelligence" unattractive??

I can see how people might find dishonesty or vanity might be unattractive, but intelligence? Who the hell find intelligence unattractive? “I really like that guy, but he just wasn’t stupid enough for me to date!”


Happy 1st Birthday, Baby Thomas!

Today, my adorable nephew turns 1!

For your birthday, Thomas, we made you this video:


Hope you like it!


I Wonder What Dad’s Eyes Are Seeing Today?

My mom called yesterday to tell me that she got a letter from the Trillium Gift of Life Network saying that my dad’s eyes, which we donated after my dad died, had been used in two sight-restoring surgeries. Which means that two people who would otherwise be blind can now see thanks to my dad’s generous gift. He’d let us know that if he were ever in the position to be an organ donor, he wanted to do that. And it gave us comfort – on a very sad day for us – to be able to carry out his wishes, so it was a bit of a gift to us too.

I got my dad’s baby blues – figuratively speaking. Literally, someone else got them.

It’s funny, too, because just yesterday I was looking at the beautiful river view I have from my new apartment and I thought, “I wonder what Dad’s eyes are seeing right now?” Even though we didn’t have confirmation of it until my mom got the letter yesterday, I was pretty confident that my Dad’s eyes had been transplanted into people who needed it and it gives me some comfort to know that a little bit of him lives on – that he was able to help someone out one last time.


Good-bye Pratt, Hello Berk

There’s someone that I’ve been seeing entirely too much of lately. His name is Pratt and he’s been consuming my days and even guest starring in my dreams1:

Me & Pratt


Had my first exam of the MBA program this past weekend: accounting. Now, I do have to say that while accounting is not my favourite subject in this program, I have actually liked it *a lot* more than I thought I would. I can now pick up the financial statements of a company and have an idea what they mean and roughly what shape the company is in. I can do a cost-volume-profit analysis and tell you how many widgets you’d have to sell to break even. I can even tell you why a company being “profitable” doesn’t necessarily mean that they are doing well. Not bad for a girl who didn’t know the difference between a stock and bond before she started this program2

cost-volume-profit whiteboard

What, you don’t have CVP formulae on the whiteboard in your living room?

Now that the accounting exam is over, however, I think I’m done with you, Pratt3. I’m moving on to the new love my life: Berk, Demarzo, & Stangeland. I foresee a lot of intense, long nights with you in my arms!

Me & Berk

  1. Well, technically it wasn’t Pratt per se in my dreams, but I did have a few accounting-related nightmares in the last few weeks. True story. []
  2. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that and I’m really hoping that none of my classmate are reading this posting! With any luck, they all have far too much homework to do to be checking out my nonsense! []
  3. Well, I’m done with you until the Core Program integrated final exam in the fall. And the post-core Accounting modules. Then I’ll come crawling back! []


My Sister Is Cooler Than A Robot With Flames On It

Because I was having a grumpy day not too long ago, my sister drew me these pictures of robots. With flames.

Robots & flames

Because who wouldn’t be cheered up by robots and flames? No one, that’s who!

And who doesn’t need such pictures adorning their work computer to make them all happy, all the time? No one, that’s who!

Thanks, sister! I love my robots with flames!


And A Beefy Bison

So Devon and I went for a walk around our new ‘hood on the weekend because it was so sunny and beautiful out and we wanted to check out what sort of shops and such we have within walking distance. We learned that the mall is mega-lame1 and we found a number of interesting looking restaurants that we now want to try2. And we found the Uptown Market, an adorable little shop with produce, fancy pants groceries, and meat. And not just any meat, but obscure meats that you don’t find in just any butcher shop or grocery store. Like bison. And ostrich. And freaking kangaroo!

Of course, I wanted to get the kangaroo, because, seriously, how many of you have eaten kangaroo before?3, but the guy at the butcher shop counter said that the bison and ostrich were much more popular and we should really start with one of them. Talking us out of buying the kangaroo seems liked a bad marketing decision on his part, but I’m only 4 months into my MBA, so what do I know? Anyway, we bought the bison burgers and I have to say that they were pretty freaking delicious.

Bison Burger

Bison Burger

You can’t see it, but trust me when I say that there’s a delicious bison burger in there.

In related news, bison makes me think of Boots and Cats, my nephew’s favourite Youtube video. Boot and cats and boots and cats and a beefy bison! I dare you to watch and then try not to have the song stuck in your head!

  1. Even more lame than your average mall – and I am an avowed mall hater, so if I think it’s much worse than most malls, well, that’s saying something. []
  2. Including a few hole-in-the-wall looking places that will either have the most amazing food ever or will give us food poisoning. []
  3. Erika & Paul, if you haven’t eaten kangaroo yet, I will be gravely disappointed []