Why My Teeth Are Like Zombies

tooth and frog
I have no idea why this tooth has his arm around a confused frog. Nor why the tooth has teeth.

So last week I went to the periodontist. I’m considering getting some dentistry done to prettify my teeth and my dentist thought it would be advisable for me to get examined by a periodontist – a dentist who specializes the bone and tissues that support the teeth – given my “history of trauma” (i.e., the fact that three of my teeth1 were root canaled 20+ years ago after I smashed them up by running face first into a jungle gym) and my recent orthodontics. Essentially the perio is in agreement with my dentist – and my orthodontist, now that I think about it. The roots on the teeth that were root canalled are shorter than normal and so those teeth will eventually fail, which will require me to get an implant2, but given that I’ve kept my mouth in relatively good shape, this isn’t necessarily going to happen soon. In addition, these teeth are fugly – they are discoloured3, uneven4, and you can even see cracks running through them.

It seems that the best course of action is to put crowns on the three root canalled teeth, as it will make them look nice instead of decrepit and, importantly, will provide some structural integrity, which should help me keep those teeth5. A fourth tooth – the one to the right of my two front teeth – will need a veneer so that it will match the other three. The crowns sort of freak me out, because they will require shaving down my actual teeth to little stumps, onto which a crown is placed. But when I remind myself that these three teeth are dead anyway – they’ve been sticking around in my face for many years, not unlike a horde of zombies roaming through a post-apocalyptic landscape! – I think it makes a lot of sense.

The whole thing is going to cost me a bomb, as my dental plan will only cover a portion of the work. But I figure I’ve already blown a bunch of cash on the braces, so I may as well finish the job! I’ll be teaching my stats course in the January to April term, and that will more than cover the cost.

The next step is to book the actual appointments to get this work done, which I think I’ll set up for January, as December is jam packed with work and school deadlines6.

Image Credit: Posted by Divine Harvester on Flickr.

  1. My two front teeth, plus the one just to the left of my two front teeth. []
  2. CYBORG BETH!! []
  3. Due to the fact that they are dead and have been for two decades. []
  4. Due to the fact that they were severely chipped in my accident, and were “fixed” up by various dentists putting in various materials to fill in said chips. []
  5. Where by “teeth”, I mean the roots and the bits that remains on which the crowns will sit. []
  6. Related: How the hell is it December NEXT WEEK? []

One Reply to “Why My Teeth Are Like Zombies”

  1. “…these three teeth are dead anyway – they’ve been sticking around in my face for many years, not unlike a horde of zombies roaming through a post-apocalyptic landscape!” LOL

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