Not To Be Trusted With Knives

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Journal of Universal Rejection

While scrolling through my old emails to write my blog posting about letters the other day, I came across an email where a friend of mine brought this site to my attention:


It’s an academic journal that is absolutely guaranteed to reject your submission, no matter what. In fact, they’ve never had an issue with any articles because they reject all articles.

Is it strange that I find this idea hilariously enticing? I think it’s the notion of the complete certainty of the situation – which is perverse, because the certainty is that you will get the result that you absolutely don’t want. Yet it seems less scary than the uncertainty of, say, submitting to a journal that *might* accept your work for publication.

Even more perverse: I want to submit something to this journal, but I can’t decide *what* to submit!


Cornish Hen

One of my goals for this year is to “make 10 meals that I’ve never made before.” First up on the list, which I made last night, was the Cornish hen. I’d bought it awhile ago at the farmer’s market and have had in my freezer ever since. Cornish hen is not only something that I’ve never made before, it’s something that I’ve never even eaten before!

I found a recipe online, that I tweaked a bit – it was basically putting a mix of lemon rind, rosemary, salt & pepper under the skin of the breast, putting a couple of lemon wedges inside the hen, and then brushing the whole thing with butter. Cooking pro tip: you can never go wrong with “brushing the whole thing with butter.”

Here’s the result:

Cornish hen

It was tender and lemony. Verdict: success!

The meal also included some lemon roasted potatoes and the peaches for dessert. There was supposed to be a veg with the meal, but somebody forgot to pick up some veg and then, to my horror, I discovered we are completely out of canned peas and corn, which are my fall back for days when I don’t have any fresh veg to cook and when it is icky and rainy out and we don’t want to run out to the store. I found some edamame in the back of the freezer, which totally don’t go with Cornish hens, but which I steamed anyway. Sadly, they turned out to be freezer burned beyond all redemption, so the meal was vegetable-less. Hence the peaches for dessert.

So that’s one new meal that I’ve never made before down, 9 to go. Some ideas I’ve had of things I’d like to trymaking include:

  • eggplant parmesan
  • ribs
  • pulled pork
  • roast beef

Any other recommendations of things I might want to try?