Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese

By

I <3 NYC

Hey, remember that time I said that my sister and I were going to take our mom to New York City for her birthday? Well, that trip was Dec 20-23 and we had a pretty amazing time! Of course, 4 days is really only enough time to scratch the surface of the Big Apple, so while we had an amazing time, we clearly have to go back because there were so many things we didn’t get to do!

We stayed at the Hudson Hotel, which was lovely and had a decor that I would characterize as lots of textures but barely any light.

IMG_4938

Cool texture in our elevator at the Hudson Hotel, NYC

On our first night, we had a bite to eat at the Hudson Common (their beer bar) and then went for a walk, whereupon we stumbled upon a Christmas market! Given the recent attack at the Berlin Christmas market, there was high security at the one we stumbled upon, include police vehicles lining the road in front of it and cops with assault rifles guarding the place.

Drinks at the Hudson Commons:

Drinks at the Hudson Hotel

Fish tacos1:

Fish tacos

Duck fat fries:

Duck fat fries

On day 2 we set out to see a show. We’d been told when we got our tickets to see the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular that we had to arrive an hour in advance of our 11 am show to get through security so we grabbed coffee and a bite to eat on our way and headed to RCMH. We went through the security, which included one person who searched your purse and then another person who searched you with a metal detection wand, and then we got to the guy who scanned your tickets… and it turned out we were there on the wrong day! We actually had our Christmas Spectacular tickets for Dec 22 and for Dec 21 we had tickets to see Wicked at 2 pm2! So we went off for a walk and stumbled upon the Rockefeller Centre Christmas tree. I was less than impressed with the tree itself (though perhaps it looks better at night).

Me and my Mom at the Rockerfeller tree

Me and my sister at the Rockefeller tree

But I was impressed with the people soliciting donations for the Salvation Army3, especially these two guys who were really giving ‘er:

I had wanted to go skating at Rockefeller, but the lineup was too long, so I just took this picture instead:

Rockefeller Skating Rink

I also saw this:

IMG_4833

“Wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times”

I felt like I should take a photo of that before it gets taken away, given recent events in US politics.

We stopped in at a pub for lunch:

Lunch in NYC

Then went to see Wicked!

Wicked playbill

Wicked was fantastic! They had the understudy playing Elphaba (a.k.a., The Wicked Witch) and she was incredible! I didn’t know anything about the play other than that it was a re-telling of the Wizard of Oz from the perspective of the Wicked Witch, who maybe isn’t so wicked after all. It had a cool story, fantastic performances, and the costumes and sets were amazing. Here’s what the stage looked liked before the show started (no photos allowed during the show):

Before the start of Wicked in NYC

And here we are waiting for the show to start:

Mom, Nancy, and me at Wicked

That night we went for a pre-dinner drink at Ascent:

IMG_4857

My sister had a Manhattan Mule, I had a Rossini Bellini, and my mom had The Trifecta.

and then the most amazing dinner at Porterhouse, where we started with the burrata (we may have dug right into that so fast we forgot to take a photo:

IMG_4859

My mom had the Porterhouse Porkchop with a glass of Sancerre:

IMG_4860

My sister had the filet mignon with a Malbec:

IMG_4862

and I went for the chili rubbed rib eye, also with a Malbec:

IMG_4861

On Day 3, we went to see the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular! We moved expertly through the security line, having done it all the day before, and got inside with plenty of time to spare4

My sister, my mom, and I at Radio City Music Hall

The show was pretty spectacular. The precision with which those dancers dance is amazing! The music was fun and there were a variety of different acts, including, among other things, a very cool instrumental version of the 12 Days of Christmas where the number of Rockettes dancing represented the number of days of Christmas and We Three Kings with actual camels.

After the show, we walked to the MOMA, but the lineup was so long that we weren’t able to actually go in and had to make do with just checking out the gift shops. I bought myself this lovely necklace:

Necklace I bought at MOMA

On our way, we passed by Trump Tower:

IMG_4874

We were on the opposite side of the street, but anyone who wanted to go right in front of the building had to go through a security screening. And apparently Trump wasn’t even in town – I can’t imagine what it’s like when he’s there.

Next up was dinner at Bar Boulud, including delicious cocktails:

IMG_4889

Salmon for my sister:

Salmon

And my mom and I both had scallops:

Scallops

After dinner my sister had an Elixir au Chocolate, which she declared the best drink she had ever had:

Elixer aux chocolate

And we all shared profiteroles for dessert:

Profiteroles

On our fourth and final day, we decided to walk to the High Line Park, and along the way we saw Times Square:

Times Square

and my mom met her favourite snowman, Olaf:

My Mom and Olaf in NYC

and the New York Times:

IMG_4937

and Madison Square Garden:

Times Square

and the big post office:

Post office NYC

and we may have stopped for a treat at Doughnut Plant:

Doughnut Plant

The High Line Park is a park built on an old elevated train track:

High Line Park

High Line Park

High Line Park

High Line Park

High Line ParkAnd with that it was time to head back to the hotel to grab our bags and head out to the airport!

As you can see, while we saw quite a few things, there is a tonne of stuff that we didn’t see! Clearly, we need to go back!

  1. We also had truffle and parmesan popcorn, which was amazing! []
  2. Thankfully we didn’t have it mixed up the other way around and show up for a 2 pm show to find out we’d missed an 11 am one! []
  3. I was conflicted about liking this, given that the Salvation Army is an anti-LGBT organization and I also hate that song (which I refer to as the “I love you because you have low self-esteem” song), but it was very entertaining how much they were into it. []
  4. In addition to all the security that we’d seen the previous day, on this day we also saw the bomb sniffing dogs walking through the venue. []

By

Niece

Happy 12th birthday to my fabulous niece, Madeline!

Me & Madeline

A few more years and we’ll be cheers-ing your birthday with real champagne!

By

NYC

Hey, remember yesterday when I said of my mother: “Who knows where her world travels will take her next?” The answer was me and my sister. We knew where my mother’s world travels would take her next because we’d already booked a trip to take her to New York City as her birthday present! We wanted to do something extra special for her extra special birthday and we figured that her first trip to NYC would fit the bill1. She’s never been to NYC before and it will be all decorated up for the holidays, so that’s pretty cool. I’ve also never been to NYC before, so it’s also kind of a gift to me too! I also think it’s cool because my sister went to NYC for her 40th and now my mom is going for her 70th and it will also be just weeks before my 40th!

We’ve got tickets to a couple of shows (Wicked and the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular) and reservations for a couple of fancy dinners (I can’t remember where. My sister booked them because she’s the good daughter who does all the work of planning and suchlike.). We are very excited to see the big Christmas tree and the big skating rink and Central Park and countless other NYCesque things! If you have any suggestions on must-see/must-do things while we are there (keeping in mind we are only there for 3 days), let me know!

 

  1. The recent thing that happened south of the border made us a bit less excited at first, but I would like to point out that Obama will still be the president while we are there, so there’s that. []

By

Mom

Today my mom is having a milestone birthday! I’m not going to say which one as the number, according to her “makes me want to throw up”. But as I always reply, “Turning [number redacted] is better than not turning [number redacted]!” Besides, it’s not how old you are, but how old you feel! And my mom is young at heart, enjoying a life of fine wines and world travels!

Here she is in Milan1:

IMG_0456

And in London:

IMG_5078

And here we are in Ireland:

IMG_6201

Who knows where her world travels will take her next?

Happy birthday, Mom! I love you!

  1. Photo shamelessly stolen from my Aunt Eileen’s Flickr account []

By

Happy Birthday, Watson & Crick

It’s my kitty cats’ 5th birthday today! Because I’m the worst cat mom in the world, I’m on the other side of the planet. Fortunately, they are cats and don’t know how to read a calendar, so I can spoil them when I get home and they won’t know the difference. Special thanks to their Aunty Heather, who is looking after them when I’m away, with help from Uncle Dwayne and from Aunty Ellen!

Untitled

Untitled

Untitled

Untitled

Happy birthday, my sweet baby kitties!

By

Birthday Report

So I had a birthday. Apparently my cats knew it was my birthday, because they gave me a present: one of their toys was in the bag that I take to work when I got up on Monday morning. So thoughtful of them.

Kitties gave me this present for my birthday

At work, some of my coworkers took me out for lunch, which was very sweet of them! And that night a group of friends took me out for dinner to El Santo, a new Mexican restaurant in New West that everyone has been raving about. I completely forgot to get a photo of all of us at dinner, because I’m old and senile. But I did manage to get a shot of me with my birthday dessert – Potted Tres Leches – which the restaurant gave to me for free, what with it being my birthday and all. It was delicious!

Birthday dessert at El Santo

The next day I received a hard copy of the latest issue of the Canadian Journal of Program Evaluation, in which I have an article!

Hard copy of a journal article that I wrote

Then I didn’t really do anything birthday-related until Saturday, when I had my birthday party, by which point I’d kind of forgotten that it was even for my birthday, which seemed like eons ago. Before the party I told myself “I’m totally going to remember to take photos, because I never take photos when I have a party and I totally should.” And then I took zero photos. Cath took a photo of Watson smelling her sock, because he was smelling her sock for like 5 minutes1, but as far as I know that is the only photographic evidence of the event. I suppose this is actually a sign of a good party, as I was too busy actually chatting with all my guests2 to think about photography. Anyway, the Coles notes version of the party is that I had a blast – my friends are awesome and my cats were very entertaining – despite not going onto the very top platform of their new cat tree despite everyone’s attempts to get them to do so. Thanks to everyone who came, thanks for all the lovely gifts (which you totally didn’t need to bring), and special thanks to Michelle for making a delicious salted caramel chocolate cake and to my sister for sending an edible fruit arrangement3

I would also like to point out that since 2016 is a leap year, I get to have a whole extra day before I turn the big 4-0. I think this was an excellent choice on my part.

  1. Cath has two cats, so I’m betting Watson was picking up Google and Saba’s scent. []
  2. As well as mixing the occasional drink and putting out the way too much food that I made. []
  3. And she wasn’t even able to come to the party! []

By

Happy Bethmas Eve!

Where does the time go? It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating Bethmas weekend, yet here it is 365 days since the last Bethmas Eve! Since Bethmas falls on Monday this year, I’ve decided to extend Bethmas celebrations for the whole week as having my birthday party before my birthday seemed too early in January. Celebrations start with a birthday lunch with coworkers1 and then dinner with some friends at New West’s hot new restaurant on my actual birthday and culminating with a Bethmas party next Saturday2.

As for Bethmas Eve, it’s pretty low-key. This morning I’ve been doing such exciting things as checking in on the discussions in the online course I’m teaching, doing laundry, and finally taking down my Christmas tree. Though I do have a hockey game later, so the plan is to finish up all this being-a-responsible-adult stuff before then and officially kick off Bethmas Eve with hockey! w00t!

  1. Which was actually set up by my Business Analyst who, have I mentioned, is super awesome? []
  2. Actually, those are all the things. There’s nothing birthday-related between those two days. []

By

Happy 11th Birthday, Madeline!

Happy birthday to my niece! I’m glad you enjoyed your crazy sleepover party on Saturday and that you had delicious cake and got some cool presents today. Love you!

Beth and Madeline at Montreal race

Madeline and I after our respective races at the Montreal marathon in Sept 2015. Yes, she is nearly as tall as me!

By

Happy 4th birthday, Watson & Crick!

UntitledThis blog posting in a couple of days late, as the kitties’ actual birthday was on Thursday. But I had an after work meeting on Thursday and by the time I got home I was too exhausted to do anything other than curl up with the kitties and watch some TV. I figured this was a good way to celebrate their birthday, since I don’t watch a tonne of TV, but they seem to quite enjoy it when I do, as it means I’m sitting on the coach for an extended period of time and so Crick can alternate between walking over me, kneading on me, and curling up on my lap and Watson can sit just out of arm’s length and meow at me that he wants me to pet him, which he alternates with sitting on the purple chair and watching the TV screen.

Also, I gave them their birthday presents:

Untitled

I figured the tiger would be good for Watson, because he has stripes (and I sometimes call him “my little tiger”) and the lion would be good for Crick because she’s a solid colour (and I sometimes call her “my little lion”).

These seemed to go over better than last year’s catnip bubbles, which didn’t make bubbles.

IMG_0569

Happy birthday, my sweet kitties!

By

Happy Birthday, Nancy!

Beth & Nancy Christmas 2013

Apparently the Earth has gone around the sun a significant number of times since my sister was born. How many times that was, I will not say!

But if it makes you feel any better, Nancy, you were born two months early, so if we are talking gestational age, you aren’t [redacted] years old until September!

Happy birthday, sis!