Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese

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Will It Blend? BC So-Called Liberals Brochure Edition

Once upon a time I asked you for suggestions on how to destroy some BC claims-to-be-Liberals brochures I received in the mail.  Here, at long last, are the videos of the destruction:

And here is a close up:

Oh, the joys of only having one take in which to do each video (given that I only had the two brochures): I think I look just a little too pleased with myself at the end of that first video.

Homage to: Will It Blend?

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Another reason to love the Canucks

NDP could win big if voters catch Canucks fever

And speaking of the election, I’ve now seen a few lawn signs popping up.  Unfortunately, since I live in the riding of an incumbent, who happens to be a Cabinet minister and it happens to be a pretty well-to-do riding1, so I don’t really have a hope in hell that the NDP will win the seat here. But I have at least seen a NDP lawn sign2,3, so at least I know who my NDP candidate is now.

On a related note, I’m still taking suggestions on creative ways to destroy the BC-in-name-only-Liberals brochures I’ve received in the mail. So far the best suggestions I’ve recevied have been to line a cat litter box with them and to blenderize them.  I’m leaning towards the latter because, although I do have access to a cat, I really like the cat and wouldn’t want to subject him to looking at that icky brochure, even if it is when he’s taking a poop.

1Note that I am a basement dweller and not someone who even dreams of affording one of the well-to-do homes in this ‘hood.
2On my very own block, no less.
3Have yet to see a Green Party sign though.

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Wanted: Method of Destruction

With the BC provincial election just more than a month away, there’s been surprisingly little said about it. I haven’t heard much in the news, I haven’t seen a single lawn sign and I don’t yet even know the names of the candidates in my riding1.

So it was very much to my surprise when I arrived home today to discover not one, but *two*, packages in the mail from my local neocons-that-call-themselves-“Liberal”-party candidate:

icky by you.

They lose points2 with me for sending me identical packages – such a waste of paper! – and even more points for addressing one of those packages to me with my ex-husband’s last name. Double ick!

However. You may remember from the federal election campaign that I have a penchant for destroying Conservative* brochures. So double packages of brochures means double the destructive fun!

To recap, I have used the following methods to destroy, or attempt to destroy, Conservative* election brochures in the past: shredding, burning, burning while doused in rubbing alcohol, soaking in vinegar.  I’m now taking suggestions for methods by which to destroy these BC (Not-In-Any-Way-)Liberals brochures.  I’ll pick the two best (feasible) methods of destruction and use them, recording the results for your enjoyment.

Let the suggestions begin…

1I figure I have enough time to find out who they are and what they stand for now that I have a bit more free time.

2Who am I kidding? As if they had any points to lose with me!3

3So now they are even more in the negative with me than they were before4.

4What is less than negative infinity anyway?

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Conservative Brochure #2 – Update

As promised, I let the brochure of evil soak in vinegar1 – and not just overnight, but for a full 24 hrs!

And you know what?  It didn’t look much different than before I put it in the vinegar!  But apparently the vinegar did some work on degrading the fibres of evil, of which this brochure is clearly made, as when I picked it up it ripped apart very easily, making it simple to shred into bits and crumple up into this soggy clump of evil:

And that, my friends, is that end of that brochure.

I wonder if they’ll send me another one?

1Oh for the days when I worked in a lab with concentrated acids!

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So I got *another* Conservative brochure in the mail…

… perhaps they heard that I no longer had the first one and felt that I needed another.

This time, I figured I would burn it:

Burn FAIL!  The damn brochure, which one would think was made of paper, wouldn’t burn.

So I decided to try again, this time with a little help from our old friend, rubbing alcohol1:

As you can see, the heat of the flames was overwhelming! But guess what happened:

That’s right, the rubbing alcohol burned away, leaving the paper virtually unscathed!! My best theory on why this is so is that these brochures are made by the spawn of Satan in the 7th layer of Hell, and thus must be constructed from flame resistant materials.

As I type this, the brochure is now sitting in a pan full of vinegar, where it will stay overnight:

Tomorrow, we’ll see how it looks.

1Me moving the bottle back and forth is my unsuccessful attempt to get my lame ass camera to focus on the rubbing alcohol label. Focus FAIL!

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I received this in the mail yesterday

Guess who I’m not voting for in this election?