Welcome to Cougartown

I have recently been discussing with various people the correct definition of a cougar. This topic has come up in conversation for absolutely no reason at all, why do you ask?

A search of such illustrious sources as wikipedia and urban dictionary have revealed that there appears to be no consensus on what constitutes a cougar. Opinions I’ve heard expressed include:

  • you have to be at least 35 years old
  • you definitely have to be more than 40 years old
  • anyone over 30 can be a cougar
  • there’s no minimum age limit – it’s all about the age differential
  • age limits don’t count if you don’t look your age*
  • without the leopard print spandex and skin that’s been tanned so many times it looks like leather, you ain’t a cougar
  • you want to poke your friend’s son? That makes you a cougar – regardless of your age.

But then, when I was having dinner with my friend, Alicia, she informed me of “the formula for calculating if you are cougar.” She assures me that this formula has been scientifically validated:

( your age ÷ 2 ) + 7

For example, if you are, let’s say for a completely arbitrary example, 29 years old, then your minimum age limit would be:

( 29 ÷ 2 ) + 7 = 21.5… which you round up to 22

–> if go for a guy under 22, you are a cougar.

Discussing this formula with some other friends, I was informed by Kyle that there is a similar “hockey player formula”= ( your age ÷ 2 ) –> hockey players can go for anyone who is over half their age**.

So, I’m interested in your opinion: what, exactly, are the requirements of being a cougar?

*I may or may not have been the person expressing this opinion.
**And we all know what an avid hockey player I am. I’m just saying.

6 Replies to “Welcome to Cougartown”

  1. A cougar is a woman slightly past her prime who tries to pick up younger men (maybe not half her age, but anywhere between 10-15+ years younger than her.) She doesn’t have to be a specific age, she just has to look like she’s trying too hard to look younger than she is.

  2. “…she just has to look like she’s trying too hard to look younger than she is”

    uh oh… right now I have turquoise nail polish on… does that make me a cougar?

  3. cougar-ness is not about age, or fingernails, it is about the ability to be a predator.

    As far as I know, you’ve not taken to lurking in dark corners and stalking man meat. Or to scratching out the competition with your manicured turquoise claws. So, no, Beth. You are not a cougar. Sorry. Call me when you start eating your meat raw.

    okay, feminist rant on:
    It pisses me off to no end that women even ask this question. Like there are two stages to a woman’s life – your prime and then everything after, where you can only be compared to Bea Arthur’s vagina. Stupid patriarchy.
    :rant off

    thinking about this – if we based it on their clothing, cougars would be called lepoards. Or lycras.

  4. Leave it to Jody to bring some good common sense and feminism into the discussion. I appreciate the reassurances that I have not yet reached cougartown, and that I should not even be asking such a question… you are right… I mean, no one ever called Anna Nicole Smith’s husband a cougar, did they?

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