Harry Potter and the F’ing Amazing Final Book
For posterity, I would like to record how I spent Saturday, the day the 7th and final Harry Potter book was released. Please note that all times are approximate.
8:13 am – Post a blog entry.
8:14 am – Log off of msn, log off of Skype and shut down browser with email in it so that no one can interrupt my date with Harry.
8:15 am – Lie in bed, thinking that I really should get up so I can go sit on the porch to wait for my book.
~9 am – The doorbell rings, I jump out of bed and race to the door, where my book awaits me on the porch. The letter carrier is nowhere in sight. (A co-worker of mine will later ask me, “How do you know that a letter carrier brought it?” “Oh my god,” I will exclaim, “It was brought by an owl!!”)
Rip open packaging. Begin to read; promptly lose track of time.
Decide I need a cup of tea. Make pot of tea without ceasing to read. Consume entire pot.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Decide I’m hungry. Toast an English muffin, and make another pot of tea, still without ceasing to read. Consume English muffin, with cream cheese, and entire pot of tea while reading.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Shout out “oh my god!” at various intervals.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Decide I’m thirsty. Drink a can of diet Pepsi while reading.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Decide I’m hungry again. Make pizza. Discover that I cannot do this without putting book down. Quickly throw dough onto cookie sheet, dump pasta sauce on top (having discovered the pizza sauce in my fridge had gone moldy) along with chunks of mozzarella (roughly cut in order to save time). No time to chop veggies, as there is book to be read, so determine that a cheese & sauce pizza is sufficient. Stick pizza in oven.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Take pizza out of oven. Read while it’s cooling. Read while I eat it, along with another can of diet Pepsi.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Hunger raises its ugly head again, but is quieted by consuming a spoonful of leftover chocolate frosting (I’m not a proud woman). Make and consume another pot of tea, without ceasing to read.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Move from living room to bedroom to read on my bed instead of on my couch or armchair (between which I had been alternating up until this point).
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Check facts in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Recognize a name, so check back in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince to determine that I’m right about where I thought I’d read that name before. Continue onto next page of Deathly Hallows, where this is confirmed.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Decide my room feels too cold, fear that Dementors are present. Move back to living room.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Decide its time to eat something other than frosting. Nuke leftover stuffed green pepper, thankful that I have something that I can make without stopping my reading. Eat it while reading. Decide I’ve passed any possible recommended caffeine intake for the day, so wash it down with some nice cold water.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Scream out loud “no no no no no no no no no!! It can’t be.”
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
Think I see, out of the corner of my eye, Lord Voldemort’s snake-like face pressed up against my kitchen window.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
~2:20 am – Finish.
2:37 am. Facebook Sarah in reply to her email and to inform her of my finish.
Fall into bed, sleep the sleep of the just.
Comments |1|
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you’re too funny. I like the bit where you say “Decide my room feels too cold, fear that Dementors are present.” scary!
I think I may have seen Cedric Diggory at a party last week. Weird, huh?