Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese

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Steve Buscemi’s Doppelgänger

Steve Buscemi has a doppelgänger and I think he may be stalking me.

The last four times I’ve been at the coffee shop across the road from my office building, he’s been there. Always in the same seat, always reading the newspaper.  Or maybe just pretending to read the paper while he waits for his prey (i.e., me) to come by to innocently order her “medium roast, I don’t need room for cream” in a travel mug.

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After I tweeted about this, a friend of mine who lives down in Arkansas informed me: “That can’t be Steve Buscemi’s doppelganger, because he is teaching Lean Six Sigma at the TMAC at the University of Texas-Austin. Surely there can’t be more than one?”

I think this is only one possible conclusion: Steve Buscemi’s doppelgänger is stalking me at the coffee shop AND he has a teleportation machine that transports him between Vancouver to Austin.

You’ve been warned, people. You’ve been warned.

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Random Stuff On My Cell Phone Camera!

It’s time for another round of “random stuff on my cell phone camera”1.

It’s always funny to see Windows error messages out in public and now that I’m a Mac owner, doubly so:

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Saw this on the wall of a Starbucks:

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I think they mean to say that their coffee is made from the top 3% of coffee beans in the world. But when I read “Can you spot the coffee made from 3% of the world’s best coffee beans?” that sounds like there is a pool of the “world’s best coffee beans” and then Starbucks only uses 3% of that pool – meaning that someone else is using 97% of the best coffee beans in the world.  Am I off on that?

And speaking of coffee:

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“Best of BC” coffee?  What, exactly, about coffee from “Indonesia, Columbia and Central America” makes this “BC” coffee?

Saw this in Chapters one day:

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And all I could think was “yeah, $1 for the Leafs. That’s about what the team is worth.”

Also saw these two displays in Chapters:

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And all I could think was “It’s A Guy Thing”? “It’s a Girl Thing?”  How about “It’s a Sexist Thing”?  The “girl” display had romance novels, and books about dieting, relationships and celebrities – none of which I would read, although I am most decidedly a female.  The “guy” one contained books about business, politics, sports (all of which I would read), plus heavy metal and, of course, “How Do You Light A Fart?”

Next door to Chapters was Winners, where I saw these stamps:

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Seriously, how many sick people do you have to know to make buying a “Get Well Soon” stamp worth the money?  Like, you just find yourself writing”Get Well Soon” so freakin’ often that you really need the stamp?

Similarly:

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This stamp says, “I’m thinking of you, but not enough to write “Thinking of You” by hand.  I think about a lot of people, OK?”

This next photo is clearly one I took a long time ago, ‘cuz it’s at a bus stop and I haven’t taken a bus in ages2:

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Ah, young love where the young “lover’s 4ever” have the same unisex name and don’t understand when not to use an apostrophe.

And finally, I just loved what the artist who made this sign thinks slipping looks like:

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  1. which is just stuff that I’ve photographed thinking “I totally have to blog that!” and then it sits on my phone for months on end until one day I’m flipping through said photos, usually to show someone a photo of Tod’s cat (cutest cat ever, btw), and see them and go – oh yeah, I *totally* meant to blog that! []
  2. since buying my beloved Smart Car []