Steve Buscemi has a doppelgänger and I think he may be stalking me.
The last four times I’ve been at the coffee shop across the road from my office building, he’s been there. Always in the same seat, always reading the newspaper. Or maybe just pretending to read the paper while he waits for his prey (i.e., me) to come by to innocently order her “medium roast, I don’t need room for cream” in a travel mug.
After I tweeted about this, a friend of mine who lives down in Arkansas informed me: “That can’t be Steve Buscemi’s doppelganger, because he is teaching Lean Six Sigma at the TMAC at the University of Texas-Austin. Surely there can’t be more than one?”
I think this is only one possible conclusion: Steve Buscemi’s doppelgänger is stalking me at the coffee shop AND he has a teleportation machine that transports him between Vancouver to Austin.
You’ve been warned, people. You’ve been warned.