Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese

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The Prodigal iPod

The other day, I lost Marla (my iPod) in the most impossible way.   I was synching my iPod to put a new audiobook that I’d just downloaded onto her, then put Marla in my purse and rushed1 out the door and took the 20 or so steps from my front door to my car.  And when I opened my purse to plug my iPod in so that I could listen to said audiobook on the way to work… she was gone.  Just gone.  I emptied my purse.  I searched the car in case Marla had fallen out when I tossed my purse in.  I retraced my steps to see if she’d fallen out on the way to the car.  Nothing. She was just… gone.

And so things stood for two days.  When I got home after work, I again searched the path between my house and the street, and I searched my apartment.  Nothing. I loaded the audiobook onto my old iPod2 and used that to begrudgingly listen to the book (as its capacity is so small that I can’t really fit anything on it besides the book, so, unlike with Marla, I don’t have a choice between book, podcasts and music, depending on my mood).

Possible theories on what happened to Marla included:

And then yesterday, after a meeting I had in Port Moody, I opened the passenger side door of my car3 and saw this:

prodigal iPod

There she was, just sitting there, looking as innocent as can be.  How did she get there?  Your guess is as good as mine because I SEARCHED THE CAR!! WTF??

So basically, I’m thinking that Marla, not unlike the prodigal son, ran off and blew all her money on hookers and blow, and with her only other option to become a caretaker of pigs to make a living4, she came home.  And, like the father in that parable, I was super happy to see her and welcomed her back with open arms, kicking my old iPod (like the other brother in the parable) to the curb while feeding Marla a fatted calf.

Yes, I’m not a fan of the story of the prodigal son.  But super happy to have my Marla back nonetheless.

  1. being that it took so long to synch the book onto my iPod, I was running late []
  2. which I totally have been meaning to sell but was thankful I hadn’t []
  3. I was putting my bag into my car on the passenger side because some asshat in a giant vehicle had decided to park in the “small car” parking spot next to my car on the driver’s side and I could only open that door far enough to squeeze in, but not to get my bag in too []
  4. and she really is worried about that swine flu and all []

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Vancouver Public Library Trash Talks The Maple Leafs

Just saw this on Twitter and it was too funny not to share with you:

Screen shot 2009-10-24 at 11.38.00 AM

And when you follow the link, you get this search result from the Vancouver Public Library’s catalog:

Library Trash Talks The Leafs

In truth, I think it’s the Toronto Maple Leaf *players* that need those books, rather than fans.

And I just tried to do a search for books that Leafs fans might find useful and got this unexpected, but hilarious result:

Get a Life

My father, as I’ve mentioned before, is a big Leafs fan.  He also listens to country music.

The conclusion here: the Vancouver Public Library hates my father.