Not To Be Trusted With Knives

Tweet tweet tweet

July 29, 2015 by Beth

Every so often, I like to post some of my favourite tweets, because Twitter is a huge pain in the butt when it comes to finding old tweets (you have to just keep scrolling and scrolling!) and I have a terrible memory, so I need my blog to have all the things on it. Anyhoo, now seems like as good a time as any for it to be an every-so-often.

I could really relate to this one1:

And I could really relate to this one too:

I, too, teach a post-secondary stats class and am surprised by how many students ask for extensions on assignments because a grandparent has passed away.

This next tweet, from the Vancouver Canucks Twitter account, was a hilarious auto-correct of Radim Vrbata’s last name:

Poor Connor McDavid:

These are particularly funny if you are a Game of Thrones fan2:

And speaking of Game of Thrones, Cath tweeted the following:

Which set off a conversation about other fonts that could be renamed after GoT characters:

Shit Academics Say is a particularly funny Twitter account if you happen to be an academic:

And this one totally made me laugh:

I can’t remember what specific situation this was in response to, but there have been a lot of people saying something offensive and then being surprised/angry/playing a victim when the world calls them out on being a d-bag:

Canadians love jokes about Canada:

And the next two tweets really spoke to me as a cat owner and an arachnophobe, respectively:More lols:

I also want to share a few of my favourite tweets of my own, because scrolling through my Twitter feed to find the good stuff among the “I’m going to hockey/for a run/for a massage” tweets and my “new blog posting!” tweets and the random badges that my beer tracking app auto-tweets is for suckers.

For the record, that tweet is still the *only* tweet that has used the hashtag #TeamGanttChart.

I was really pleased with myself when I thought up this line and very excited to have a chance to tweet it (For the record, Beer Friday is an event that happens in the building that is directly outside of my building):

Naturally, there has to be a few tweets with photos of my kitties because adorable:

That above tweet was the result of something that played out even more funny in person. A former coworker who now works at a nearby building and I met up for lunch at the Japadog truck. We both got diet Cokes with our lunch and when I looked at mine I saw that it said “share a Coke with your best friend”. So I said, “Aww, look and showed it to him”. So he looks at the one in his hand, which is turned the opposite way, and then he turns it around to reveal the “Share a Coke with your co-worker”. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an unintentional prop joke with such perfect comedic timing before!

Both of these things are 100% true:

I also have a number of my fav own tweets that result from my office job:

This one is only funny if you are a fan of Game of Thrones and Lord of The Rings (or at least know their memes) and if you happen to work on the project I’m working on (For context, “Cerner” is the IT platform we are working on and SNOMED-CT is a standard nomenclature of clinical terms that we are using. Clear as mud, right?):

And finally, an inspirational (?) quotation:

1. Probably because we were born in the same year! I totally thought I was a lot older than Paul, but I just double checked Facebook and I’m not even half a year older! [↩]
2. For the uninitiated, the Starks a big important family in GoT, but the head of the family has a bastard son who always gets treated as second-rate. And in the North, where they are from, all bastards are given the last name Snow. Which, of course, is my last name! [↩]

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