Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


Is this a laser which I see before me?

Because apparently August is a good time for medical procedures, I’m getting my laser eye surgery re-treatment done tomorrow.

On Friday I went for the pre-op visit and everything seems to be in order. My prescription is stable, my eye pressure is good and my pupils are giagantic:

dilated pupil by you.

Oh no, wait, that’s just from the dilating drops the eye doc put in so she could look at my retinas. Which are, apparently, just dandy. As a side note, you can also see in this photo the little purple dots of petechiae all around my eyes from my recent puking episode.  Good times.

Maybe this time I won’t live blog the surgery – perhaps that’s why it didn’t work out 100% perfectly?  At any rate – send positive vibes and healing thoughts to me tomorrow afternoon1!

  1. Pacific time []



Tod1 tagged me with this on Facebook.

Three names I go by:
1. Beth
2. DrBethSnow (all one word, of course)
3. 52.50 (don’t ask)

Three Jobs I have had in my life:
1. university instructor
2. evaluation specialist
3. donut store worker2

Three Places I have lived:
1. Milton, ON
2. Hamilton, ON3
3. Vancouver, BC

Three Favorite drinks:
1. diet Pepsi
2. bellini4
3. Cafe La Paz coffee5

Three people I think will do this on their profile too:
1. Lianna
2. Eliza
3. Therese

Three hobbies:
1. Blogging
2. Hockey
3. Cooking

Three Pet Peeves:
1. People who drive slow in the fast lane6
2. People who don’t listen
3. Student loan payments

Three TV Shows that I watch:
1.  Lost
2. 24
3. Big Brother7

Three places I have been:
1. San José del Cabo, Mexico
2. Charlottetown, PEI
3. Yellowknife, Northwest Territories

Favorite Foods:
1. French fries
2. Poutine
3. Did I mention french fries?

Three Things I am looking forward to8:
1. The start of the hockey season9
2. Meeting Teddy when Sarah & Dave come to visit next month
3.  Nancy, Jeff & Madeline visiting, also next month

  1. a generation Y speaker, so he knows all about The Facebook []
  2. although my friend Jody referred to me as a “donut hut slut” []
  3. which I liked to refer to as “Ha! Milton” []
  4. the frozen kind. Gotstabe the frozen kind []
  5. fair trade, organic, Bolivian delicousness! []
  6. curses be upon you! []
  7. but not the British one. That one is lame-erific! []
  8. in no particular order []
  9. both my own and the Canucks []


Vancouver Whitecaps Game

Yesterday, Alicia & Paul took Tod and I to a Vancouver Whitecaps game1  They have seasons tickets and Alicia knew that I really wanted to check out a game, as I’ve never been to a soccer game before.

Truth be told, I don’t know much about soccer, other than that you are trying to kick the ball into the giant net.  Which looks like it should be easy, as the net is huge, but seems to be damn near impossible as the Whitecaps and the Carolina Railhawks played 90+ minutes and no one scored a goal. The Whitecaps nearly did a few tiems, but a combination of the Railhawks goalie kicking some serious ass and the Whitecaps having a penchant for kicking the ball in such a way as to always hit the post kept the game scoreless.

IMGP0066 by you. Whitecaps (in white) vs. Railhawks (in orange)

At half time, they had a few little kids games.  This is something they do at Canucks games and I absolutely love it! It must be the most exciting thing ever for a little kid to get a chance to play in front of a stadium full of people!

IMGP0064 by you.Little goalie, watching as all the kids surround the soccer ball at the other end of the field. Playing positions? What’s a position?

Things I Learned At The Whitecaps Soccer Game:

  • the clock counts time up, not down2
  • there’s no line on the field for offside – offside is being behind the furthest defender
  • you are supposed to similatenously watch the ball and all the players and the referrees. At the same time.  Because the ref might put up a yellow card and you needed to have seen both the ref with his yellow card and the play that was being yellow carded and you have to see it in real time because the stadium has no JumboTron

Things I Didn’t Learn At The Whitecaps Soccer Game:

  • what the hell a “railhawk” is

All in all, it was a fun time. And I knocked #47 off of my 101things to do in 1001 days list!  Thanks again, Alicia & Paul!

  1. although I think they should be called the Burnaby Whitecaps, as Swanguard stadium is on the eastside of Boundary Rd. []
  2. I, of course, compare everything to hockey and in hockey, the clock counts down, so you can easily see how much time is remaining. Which makes way more sense, if you ask me []


Happy Birthday, Soon-To-Be-Dr. Dan!

30±4 years ago, the world was graced with the presence of the baby who would someday become the man who will soon be Dr. Dan, statistician extraordinaire and my Official Statistian and Tattoo Consultant.

Here’s a photo of me and Dan on our recent hike up Grouse Mountain:

Cookie and Count by planetschwa.

So, happy birthday, Soon-To-Be-Dr. Dann!1

Image Credit: Posted by planetschwa on Flickr.

  1. The extra “n” is for…. []


I Am A Cyborg, Just Like My Car

I wrote this last night, but it appears that my computer messed up and didn’t post it.  So I’m posting it now.

I Am A Cyborg, Just Like My Car or IUD, Yeah You Know Me.

So, fair warning: if you aren’t interested in reading about my uterus, you may as well stop reading right now.

Now that no one is reading, I can say that today I had my IUD replaced.  And it hurts like a sunovabith. (Another fair warning: there will be swears).

I first got an IUD five years ago and I distinctly remember it being by far the most excruciatingly painful experience of my life.  In fact, at the time I thought that perhaps the way the IUD prevents pregnancy is by being so painful to insert that you think, “Holy holy holy shit. And that’s just a teeny tiny little thing. I can’t even imagine what it must be like to have a freaking human being go through my cervix! That’s it – I’m becoming a nun!”  I was told when I got that IUD that it has to be replaced every 5 years and, honestly, I’ve been dreading it ever since.  I made my appointment for today after work and it seemed like no sooner did I get to work, but it was the end of the day and time to go to my appointment!  Time flies when you are not wanting it to!

On the plus side, the doctor I went to this time did it much faster than the one who did it the first time1 so although the pain was awful, at least it was over relatively quickly.  After the insertion, they tell you to wait around for 10 minutes to make sure that you don’t faint or anything. And in those 10 minutes, although they tell you that the pain should go away, it actually got worse, and I had to lie down and wait for another about 15 minutes or so before I felt OK enough to go. They gave me some Tylenol 3, which I distinctly remember making me totally loopy when I had them after I got my wisdom teeth out, but now they seem to take the edge off the pain, but aren’t giving me any sleepiness.  Which I could really use right about now!  I tried to nap and I think I dozed off for a few minutes here and there, but mostly it’s just shifting positions to try to alleviate the cramping pain.  I feel slightly nauseated (from the pain? from the meds?) and I just want to go to sleep – I’m really hoping it will dissipate over night!

Anyway, not really much point to this posting. Just venting.  Please excuse any typos – looking at this screen isn’t helping.  Going to try to sleep.

Update: a few minutes after finishing writing that, I threw up. Hard. And I hate throwing up. I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns.  Also, throwing up makes all the little blood vessels around my eyes burst, so I have all these little purple dots on my eyelids and around my eyes2. I didn’t sleep well last night and although I felt better than yesterday, thank FSM, I still didn’t feel that great so I called in sick today so I can stay home and rest. Which seems to be helping. And now I think I’ll try to nap.

  1. and this time they had to remove the old one and then insert the new one and it still seemed faster than the first time, when they only had to insert one []
  2. petechiae as it’s known to the medical nerds []


(no title)

I saw this photo back during Blogathon – someone had it on their screen at Workspace and I just thought it was the coolest thing.  Been meaning to blog it for a while.

Lightning and Fireworks by TylerIngram. Image credit: Posted by Tyler Ingram on Flickr

Blogathon night was one of the fireworks nights and also the night of a wicked thunder and lightning storm1 – this photo captured them both.

In related news2, I’m missing the heatwave.  Now, I admit that the day that was hotter than any other day in the recorded history of Vancouver and then the next day, which was even hotter, were, well, pretty freaking hot3.  Like it-felt-like-a-sauna-outside hot.  But I like heat.  I’ll take heat over cold any day.  And having been spoiled by all that heat makes the current temperature – ~22 degrees C, which is right around the normal for this time of year – feel freezing!  Fortunately, the long range forecast says we’ll be back up to the mid-to-high 20s, and possibly into the the 30s again, by mid-next week.  I’m not ready for summer to be over!
  1. we hardly ever get thunder & lightning here in Vancouver []
  2. and by “news” I mean things that happened almost two weeks ago []
  3. I work in Surrey and it was more than 40 degrees Celsius (or 104 degrees Fahrenheit) there.  And that’s not counting the humidex. Just straight up 40 degrees []


BC Premier #18 – The Premier Who Is Not On the Daily Show With John Stewart

Name John Oliver
Born: July 31, 1856 in Hartington, England
Died: August 17, 1927 in Victoria, BC
Party: Liberal
Held Office: March 6, 1918 to August 17, 1927
  • from a farming family that immigrated to Maryborough Township, Ontario, Canada in 1870
  • his mother died from rheumatic fever in 1875
  • moved west at age 20 and found work with the Canadian Pacific Railway, where he worked for a summer to save enough money to buy a farm in Surrey, BC
  • while building his farm, he also became involved in community affairs (e.g., establishing a rural school, becoming municipal clerk and tax collector), then sold his land and bought a farm in Delta, where he also became involved in community affairs (e.g., as a school trustee and later as a reeve on municipal council)
  • ran for the seat in Westminster-Delta in the June 1900 provincial election – was one of only 6 people from the Joseph Martin faction to be elected
  • the snooty politicians liked to make fun of his “unsophisticated clothes, heavy boots, and often crude use of the English language”1 – but he was determined to show them that a regular person could be part of the political process, so he studied parliamentary procedures
  • when the party system came to provincial politics, Oliver ran as a Liberal – he was “an anti-establishment figure, yet his own brand of liberalism was shaped by his rural conservative roots”2
  • 3 Oct 1903 – re-elected in Delta, served in the Liberal opposition
  • 2 Feb 1907 – re-elected again in Delta, again as part of the Liberal opposition
  • he reluctantly became the Liberal leader in autumn 1909 when the then-leader, James Alexander MacDonald3 was appointed to the bench, leaving Oliver with not much time to prepare for the upcoming election against a popular Conservative party
  • 25 Nov 1909 – lost his seat in Delta, as well as the seat in Victoria for which he also ran
  • he went back to the farm, but couldn’t stay out of politics for long – he was soon elected to school board, then served as a reeve again, followed by running in – and losing – in the 1911 federal election and the 1912 provincial election
  • 14 Sept. 1916 – the Conservative party, suffering from a worldview recession at the start of WWII as well as charges of corruption,  lost the government to the Liberal party, with Oliver winning the seat in Dewdney and being appointed to cabinet in two positions: agriculture and railways4
  • wrote the “Land Settlement [and Development] Act,” which provided soldiers returning from war the opportunity to own their own rural farms, when he was inspired in the middle of the night – it was dubbed the “nightshirt act” because he wrote it in his nightshirt
  • 6 March 1918 – was elected Liberal Party leader and became Premier after Premier Brewster died on 1 March 1918
  • his government introduced “social legislation that limited work to an eight-hour day in certain industries, improved working conditions, […] minimum wage for women, mothers’ pensions […], maintenance for deserted wives, and improve[ments in] both health and educational services […] All of these initiatives were based on the belief that direct government intervention was the best way to deal with the problems that beset the province.”5
  • some turmoil arose during this time, including farmers forming their own party (the aptly named “United Farmers of BC”), workers striking in sympathy with the Winnipeg General Strike of 1919 and complaints that he should have immediately called an election upon becoming Premier to let the voters decide if they really wanted him as their leader.  He eventually called for an election on Dec 1, 1920 and this would be the first election in which women could vote.  “Women would be casting ballots for the first time in British Columbia and Oliver had been advised that an earlier date in the autumn would be inconvenient for them because it coincided with church fairs and the making of preserves.”6.  The Conservatives came out for a big fight and Oliver and his Liberals barely held onto power.  Oliver would find opposition from both the young people within his own party and the business-y types who supported the Conservatives
  • 20 Oct 1920:  referendum on Prohibition was defeated, with a preference for the government-controlled sale of alcohol; the government stores that were allowed to sell booze became known as “John Oliver’s drug stores”
  • 20 June 1924 – leaders of all the provincial parties, including Oliver, lost their seats in the provincial election; the Liberals held on to the government with a very slim minority government and Oliver won a seat Nelson in a by-election on Aug 23 , 1924; the economy got better, however, and Oliver and his Liberals held on for a while
  • passed Old-Age Pension, which he considered one of the most important things he did, on March 7, 1927
  • July 1927: tearfully resigned, having found out that he had incurable cancer; his colleagues refused to accept his resignation, and so he stayed on as Premier until his death, with “J. D. MacLean, his long-time lieutenant, […] named premier designate”7
  • Stuff that’s named after him:
    • John Oliver Secondary School (Vancouver)
    • Mount John Oliver8 in the Cariboo Mountains
    • Oliver, BC (a town in the Okanagan)

Image credits: Accessed from Wikipedia. In the public domain. w00t!

Wikipedia, the reference of champions
Dictionary of Canadian Biography Online

  1. source: Dictionary of Canadian Biography online []
  2. source: Dictionary of Canadian Biography online []
  3. not to be confused with John Alexander MacDonald []
  4. agricultural, presumably, due to his farming background and railways because he’d been a big opponent of the Conservative government’s railway policy []
  5. source: Dictionary of Canadian Biography online []
  6. source: Dictionary of Canadian Biography online []
  7. source: Dictionary of Canadian Biography online []
  8. which kind of sounds like an instruction: Hey, you, mount John Oliver already []


Happy 12:34:56 7/8/9

Numbers... by lrargerich.While some people celebrated this numberific occasion back on July 8, I’ve been saving it for today because I prefer to write the dates in day-month-year order, which makes sense, rather than in the crazy, out-of-order month-day-year1 fashion.

I was going to post a link to my blog posting about the song “789” – but I can’t find it. So I’m reposting the video today.  It’s a pretty awesome song and you should totally have it stuck in your head.

You’re welcome.

Image credit: Posted by Luis Argerich on Flickr. CC FTW!

  1. I realize that this stems from the way you would speak a date – “August 8th, 2009″, but I still think it’s out of order. Day < month < year. In truth, I actually prefer year-month-day, because that way if you sort them numerically, they will come out in chronological order. Which is helpful, for example, for naming different version of a file (e.g., 2009-08-06 Hockey Hotties Phone Numbers.doc and 2009-08-07 Hockey Hotties Phone Numbers.doc []


Things That Have Thwarted Me From Eating Junk Food Of Late

  • Laziness – I could really go for some gelato right now, but I’d have to walk all the way to my car1 and drive all the way to Kerrisdale2
  • Pickiness – I would love a Häagen Dazs ice cream bar right about now. But they only have ones with almonds in them.  Boo almonds!
  • Did I mention laziness? – I could have some cake, but then I’d need to go for a run to burn off the extra calories. And I’m so comfy right here on my couch!
  1. which is directly outside my house []
  2. which really is not that far away []


Blogathon Debrief

So I’m a bit of a perfectionist. And the speed and sleep deprivation that accompanies blogging every half hour for 24 hours straight does not lend itself to perfection. So there are some things from my Blogathon – things I couldn’t remember in the haste of blogathoning – that I feel the need to rectify.

Re: All The Books I Currently Have Out of The Library

  • I’ve finished reading1 Eat that Frog: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time by Brian Tracy and The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell and now I’ve gotten Blink, also by Malcolm Gladwell
  • I totally thought I was on the waiting list for Getting Things Done by David Allen as an e-audiobook, but I just went to check where on the waiting list I am and it appears that not only am I not on the waiting list, but the library doesn’t even have this as an e-audiobook.  I’ll have to go to the library to pick up the CD audiobook2.  I’ll chalk this one up to Blogathon delirium!

Re: A List of My Go-To Meals

  • Can’t belive I forgot to mention President’s Choice fake “chicken” breasts with French fries (if I’m feeling industrious, I’ll cut up potatoes, cover in olive oil, rosemary & fresh ground black pepper and oven bake; if I’m feeling lazy, it’s frozen Safeway fries, oven baked) and a veg (maybe steamed asparagus or broccoli or corn-on-the-cob)
  • Also, veggie tacos!!  Yves veggie ground round with onions/green peppers/zucchini/mushrooms & taco seasoning mix in a tortilla with tomatoes, green onions, fresh cilantro, avocado, yogurt and cheese. Or sometimes I’ll use refried beans instead of the ground round mix.

Re: Stuff Cookbooks Have Taught Me

  • The cookbook that Shalu et al got me for my birthday is called Cooking with Kurma.  The other cookbook that Shalu gave me was The Higher Taste: A Guide to Gourmet Vegetarian Cooking and a Karma-Free Diet.
  • The cookbook where the chef says to put herbs and spices in until you are sure it’s too much and then put some more (which I neglected to mention was a gift from my sister), is called Byron’s New Home Cooking: 100 Recipes for Busy Cooks With Demanding Palates.
  • I can’t *believe* I forgot to mention my Linda McCartney cookbook! Linda McCartney’s World of Vegetarian Cooking – a gift I received from my friend Kaede – rocks my world.

Re: Plugins, My Plugins

  • Tod has just introduced me to the best plugin ever! WP-Footnotes automates the whole footnoting process even better than the AddQuicktag that I’d set up.  And you know how much I loves me some footnotes3.  Maybe now I’ll be able to write a blog posting with 101 footnotes in it before my 1001 days are up!
  1. by which I mean “listening to” []
  2. how archaic! []
  3. a lot! []