My Hockey Swear

I have discovered that my swear of choice when I’m hit in a hockey game is “JESUS CHRIST!”  I don’t do it consciously, it’s just what happens to come out whenever someone cross checks in my back1 or slashes me across the visor2 or when a Calgarian punches me in the throat3.  The uttering of JC last night, which pretty much confirmed that this swear is my automatic reaction to dirty hits, came when I got cross checked in the back when I was in “the doctor’s office,” to which the about-to-be-penalized defenceman yelled “Let go of my stick!!”  I’m not sure how exactly she figured that I was, or had been, holding her stick given that she just flattened me by slamming me in the back with said stick, but whatevs. She got a penalty and I got an assist on the ensuing power play goal.  So apparently blasphemy works.

  1. which happened to me both last night and the night my family came to watch me play []
  2. also happened to me last night.  It was more of a flailing with the stick rather than anything intentional, but thank the FSM I wear a full face shield! []
  3. that happened in Vegas. You gotta watch out for the Calgarians []

Comments |4|

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  • I break out Jesus Christ in the car a lot, when someone does something sudden and idiotic near my vehicle. Which is often.

    Also: JC is way faster to invoke than the FSM in the heat of the moment, so don't feel like you're in the middle of a crisis of faith. Just in case you felt that way.

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    • I didn't feel it was a crisis of faith… until you mentioned it!

      From now on , I will make a concerted effort to call upon the Holy FSM and his noodly appendages the next time someone punches me in the throat.

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      • Also, after that Calgarian punched you in the throat, did she say, "That's how we do things in Cowtown!" while her FAS-afflicted boyfriend yowled from the stands?

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        • She was too affronted by my use of the Lord's name in vain to say anything. Because if there's anything a good Christian does, it's honour the name of the Lord. And punch someone in the throat.

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