Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese

By

My New Training Regimen

Had my first hockey game of 2011 tonight. And my first hockey game since December 5, given that I missed so many hockey games while on holidays. Yet *two* of my teammates complimented me on my skating (e.g., “Did you take skating lessons over the holidays? Because it really looks like you did!”) and at a few points in the game I heard the opposing team’s coach yelling a panicked “MAN ON!! MAN ON!!!” to their player who either had or was skating for the puck. For the uninitiated, “man on” is what you yell to alert a player that an opposing player is gaining on them, so they better hustle.  And *I* was the person gaining on them!

How I got speedier than I was in 2010 is, of course, the question.  Over the holidays I did zero exercise. Unless drinking chocolate vodka1 counts as exercise. Which perhaps it does. Because it seems that a steady training program of booze, cookies, caramel corn and sitting on my butt have turned me into a speed demon.  And I’ve been wasting all that time doing hot yoga and running!

  1. I just went to link that to my posting on the chocolate vodka that I made with Dr. Dan over the holidays. And realized I still haven’t posted about that! For shame! []

2 Responses to My New Training Regimen

  1. Darren says:

    I’ve often wondered if they yell “man on” in women’s sports. Now I know.

  2. Beth says:

    It’s true, we do. We also refer to our defending player as “defenceman.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.