I’ve never been much of a gamer. I remember briefly enjoying NHL ’98 on Play Station back in the day, but being pissed off that the announcer would only say your name if you were a boy, so I only ever got to hear “Player 1 shoots, he scores!” I also had a game called Theme Hospital where you built hospitals. The graphics were very, very simple but I spent hours building all kinds of weird hospitals… including one which had more pop machines than treatment facilities, just to see what would happen1. For the most part, I find game controllers these days have way too many buttons and I can’t be bothered to figure out what all the buttons do. I tried playing Wii Harry Potter once, but the game starts off with all these instructions on how to cast all the different spells – wiggle-twirl-wiggle will cast the So-and-So Spell, and twirl-up-wiggle-down casts the Such-and-Such spell. And as soon as I actually faced a situation where I needed to cast a spell, I had no idea how to cast anything. And then I got bored with it and played Wii bowling instead.
So, yeah, me and gaming – not so much. That was, until I found out about Boogie Bunnies.
Boogie Bunnies is a simple matching game, where you have to match up three bunnies of the same colour. And when you do, they seem to explode and all the other bunnies cheer. I’m not sure why the bunnies like to be exploded, but I guess I just don’t understand the bunny psyche. You score points for matching up lots of bunnies, for doing so multiple times in a row and you get extra points for knocking off bunnies once you’ve started a bunny dance party2.
And the bunnies are just SO. FRIGGIN. CUTE. They have these adorable little high pitched voices and say “Over here!!” “Hellooooo!” and “Carrots!” As you go up to higher levels, they start to say other things like that sound distinctly like swear words. It’s true – I’m sure I heard a bunny say “fuck!”
The only problem with Boogie Bunnies is that when you start to have too many bunnies on the screen and they are getting dangerously close to falling into the water, they start to sound really concerned, saying “Ummm?” with such a sad little voice. There you start to hear some “uh ohs” and when you let too many bunnies fall into the water, they let out a collective sigh and hang their heads. And you feel soooo bad that you didn’t save the bunnies.
And now you know how I spend my weekends.
1While this hospital didn’t score particularly well as a health care facility, it did win an award from the Dental Association for promoting the drinking of pop, and resulting increase in cavities for them to treat.
2I have no idea how you actually cause a bunny dance party to start, but it just seems to happen and then you get extra points.