Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


Stuff People Googled And Ended Up On My Blog

Let’s see what interesting things people have Googled lately to end up on my blog lately?

  • betrusted [I’m pretty sure that’s not a word.  Yet somehow I’m the second hit on Google for “betrusted.”  Yet the word does not appear anywhere on my blog.]
  • buckleys seamen [I think you mean “semen”]
  • a surprising number of variations of “is it ok to eat pizza that’s been left out of the fridge overnight?” [Glad to be preventing food poisoning everywhere!]
  • hotties now [is that a Google search or a demand?]
  • luongo is so greasy [what, exactly, is one expecting to find when Googling this phrase?]
  • my “legs” are “sore” [why the air quotes? are they hypothetical “legs” that are sarcastically “sore”
  • people googling stuff [so meta]
  • apples verse pop for caffeine [Um, I don’t know what kind of apples you are eating, but can I have some?]
  • women voting rights in canada in august [It’s a little known fact, but women in Canada can only vote in August]
  • guy peaing [seriously?  you don’t know how to spell “peeing”?]
  • aunty big boobs naked pic [I can understand why someone would search for a “big boobs naked pic,” but why does the owner of said boobs need to have a niece or nephew?]
  • what are the “dirty areas” in hockey [wouldn’t you like to know!]
  • can you get laser eye surgery done twice? [yes, yes you can]
  • can you fit a hockey bag in a smart car? [yes, two in fact]
  • can you have knives at a university [no, cutting things is forbidden at all institutions of higher learning.  If you’d ever been to university, you would know this]
  • hockey stick vibrator [Why didn’t I think of that??? If there a patent on this yet?]
  • what are little handles on smart car bum [bum?  you call the back of a car its “bum”?]
  • can i wear eye makeup to my regular eye [I shudder to think what you wear on your irregular eye]
  • when i was four years old what did i do [file under: things you will never find on the Internet]
  • man wants to fuck a chick in milton ont. [Does she have to be from Milton?  Or can you just take an Acton girl across the town line?]

And finally, just in time to give you nightmares for Hallowe’en, someone Googled the following: “how do people have sex with knives

4 Responses to Stuff People Googled And Ended Up On My Blog

  1. Demonweed says:

    I thought nothing could top my humble contribution (the phrase "radicalized geese") but clearly this is a much more robust field than I would ever have guessed on my own. Thanks for putting things into perspective.

  2. Krista Lee says:

    *laughing so hard I cannot see*

  3. Paul says:

    I found it by searching Zaphod Beeblebrox.

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