Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese

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Stuff People Googled And Ended Up On My Blog

Let’s see what interesting things people have Googled lately to end up on my blog lately?

  • betrusted [I’m pretty sure that’s not a word.  Yet somehow I’m the second hit on Google for “betrusted.”  Yet the word does not appear anywhere on my blog.]
  • buckleys seamen [I think you mean “semen”]
  • a surprising number of variations of “is it ok to eat pizza that’s been left out of the fridge overnight?” [Glad to be preventing food poisoning everywhere!]
  • hotties now [is that a Google search or a demand?]
  • luongo is so greasy [what, exactly, is one expecting to find when Googling this phrase?]
  • my “legs” are “sore” [why the air quotes? are they hypothetical “legs” that are sarcastically “sore”
  • people googling stuff [so meta]
  • apples verse pop for caffeine [Um, I don’t know what kind of apples you are eating, but can I have some?]
  • women voting rights in canada in august [It’s a little known fact, but women in Canada can only vote in August]
  • guy peaing [seriously?  you don’t know how to spell “peeing”?]
  • aunty big boobs naked pic [I can understand why someone would search for a “big boobs naked pic,” but why does the owner of said boobs need to have a niece or nephew?]
  • what are the “dirty areas” in hockey [wouldn’t you like to know!]
  • can you get laser eye surgery done twice? [yes, yes you can]
  • can you fit a hockey bag in a smart car? [yes, two in fact]
  • can you have knives at a university [no, cutting things is forbidden at all institutions of higher learning.  If you’d ever been to university, you would know this]
  • hockey stick vibrator [Why didn’t I think of that??? If there a patent on this yet?]
  • what are little handles on smart car bum [bum?  you call the back of a car its “bum”?]
  • can i wear eye makeup to my regular eye [I shudder to think what you wear on your irregular eye]
  • when i was four years old what did i do [file under: things you will never find on the Internet]
  • man wants to fuck a chick in milton ont. [Does she have to be from Milton?  Or can you just take an Acton girl across the town line?]

And finally, just in time to give you nightmares for Hallowe’en, someone Googled the following: “how do people have sex with knives

4 Responses to Stuff People Googled And Ended Up On My Blog

  1. Demonweed says:

    I thought nothing could top my humble contribution (the phrase "radicalized geese") but clearly this is a much more robust field than I would ever have guessed on my own. Thanks for putting things into perspective.

  2. Krista Lee says:

    *laughing so hard I cannot see*

  3. Paul says:

    I found it by searching Zaphod Beeblebrox.

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