Vicious Stairs

Here are the stairs I fell down yesterday:

Day 99

OK, I realize that I only fell down one of these stairs – the very bottom one specifically. But given how beat up I feel today – achy back/shoulder/leg/wrist – I’m revising my story to say that I fell down a flight of stairs. Possibly I was thrown down them. I can neither confirm nor deny this rumour that I just started.

Also, I should point out that this entranceway was clearly *not* designed with a zombie apocalypse in mind. I mean, an enclosed concrete bunker at the bottom of a steep, and poorly lit, set of stairs, and then a locked door to get into your zombie-free home. It’s like they weren’t even thinking when they designed this place.

Which reminds me, I took this screenshot from my sister’s Facebook wall *ages* ago, because it’s freaking hilarious, and have totally forgot to blog it. Until now.


11 Replies to “Vicious Stairs”

  1. 1) I am so sorry those ugly stairs attacked you! When I bought a pair of roller skates (in a laughable and stunningly ill-conceived attempt to be cool and avoid BC transit) I was attacked by everything from my back door to the park bench. Daily, lamp posts find the need to assault me.

    2) That Facebook conversation was awesome. I don’t often envision zombie scenarios, but I have to say that the only thing that used to keep me from hanging myself when I was working office temp jobs was to envision there was a serial killer watching me from behind the filing cabinets. Yes, *that* scenario entertained me…

    And so, re Kalev’s comment:

    3) Me too. All the time

  2. @Monica – Great, now I have to worry about zombie attacks AND serial killers watching me from behind filing cabinets! Also, lamp posts are such assholes.

  3. I should clarify that when I was answering Beth’s “Have you?” I was answering the question, “Have I ever thought that BETH was insane?” not “Have I ever thought that I myself was insane?”

  4. I think my favorite parts of those stairs are the horrible ugly anti-slip pads all over. It’s like they put the stairs in and then said wow, those look really dangerous, throw a couple stupid sandpaper stickers on and say there, all better!

  5. I also like how those horrible ugly (and apparently non-functional) anti-slip pads are so worn down they look like they are a thousand years old, given that the house is pretty much brand new. I’m thinking that they took those anti-slip pads from the stairs leading to an Indian burial ground.

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