Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese

By

Ass-ist

Last year, I proposed that if one is getting all up in the face of the goalie and then your teammate scores a goal, you should totally get an assist. After all, you were instrumental in that goal being scored, right?

At our game yesterday, my lovely, talented, and amazing over 45 year old linemate1, did just such a thing on one of our goals. She said, “I was getting my ass in the goalie’s face – that should be an ASS-ist!”  Henceforth, getting in the goalie’s face like this shall be known as such.

  1. though you would *never* believe she’s older than 45 years if you met her []

One Response to Ass-ist

  1. At my old job in Glasgow, the lunch room looked out over a sports field. We’d often spend our summertime tea breaks watching and heckling the university and other amateur football (as in the kind where you kick the ball with your foot) teams. On one memorable occasion, a particularly inept defender scored an own goal with his ass – the ball came swinging in from a corner kick and went in off his bum. We all just about peed ourselves laughing – the poor guy was mortified – and christened the move an “own hole”.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.