Ass-ist
Last year, I proposed that if one is getting all up in the face of the goalie and then your teammate scores a goal, you should totally get an assist. After all, you were instrumental in that goal being scored, right?
At our game yesterday, my lovely, talented, and amazing over 45 year old linemate ((though you would *never* believe she’s older than 45 years if you met her)), did just such a thing on one of our goals. She said, “I was getting my ass in the goalie’s face – that should be an ASS-ist!” Â Henceforth, getting in the goalie’s face like this shall be known as such.
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At my old job in Glasgow, the lunch room looked out over a sports field. We’d often spend our summertime tea breaks watching and heckling the university and other amateur football (as in the kind where you kick the ball with your foot) teams. On one memorable occasion, a particularly inept defender scored an own goal with his ass – the ball came swinging in from a corner kick and went in off his bum. We all just about peed ourselves laughing – the poor guy was mortified – and christened the move an “own hole”.