Not To Be Trusted With Knives

I had a wardrobe malfunction at the Madonna concert

October 31, 2008 by Beth

As you may be aware, I went to Madonna’s concert at BC Place last night.  After much discussion about what to wear, my friends and I had decided that wigs are the new black – we would wear jeans, nice shoes, nice tops and wigs.  Really, I just like any excuse to wear a wig.

We started the evening with drinks and appies at Rachel’s, where her dad, who is visiting from Ottawa, was chef, bartender and incorrigible flirt.  Here we are in our awesome wigs, our sparkly eyeliner and our dancing shoes¹.

The astute reader may recognize my shirt – it was the top from my Halloween costume from last year.  Because, you know, when you spend a whopping $11.99 on a costume, you want to make sure you get some good mileage out of it.  I’d had to sew up a small rip in the seam on the right side, and put in some reinforcements where the plastic rib of the top was poking through, but I figured that this use of my mad sewing skillz was well worth the effort.

Once we were all glammed up, we headed out to the concert. Which, apparently, was at BC Place.  I totally thought it was at GM Place². And then, just to confuse things even more, Donna directed our driver, a friend of hers who generously drove us because every cab in the entire city was booked, to Canada Place, which she believed was BC Place.  Note to the City of Vancouver: you need more creative names for venues.

Anyhoo, we made it to the concert with plenty of time to spare, helped along by the fact that Madge was about a half an hour late starting and not, as we heard on the radio on the way there, starting half an hour early.  We got plenty of compliments on our hot wigs.  And, frankly, I was surprised there weren’t more people dressed up.  For sure there were some cool outfits – people dressed as 80s Madonna in particular – but most people were wearing what they’d wear to head out to, say, Starbucks.

As for the concert itself, our consensus was that it was good, but not great.  It probably would have been great for anyone who had floor seats, but up in the nose bleeds, not quite so much.  This was our view:

So when Madonna finally came on stage, she looked like she was about a millimetre tall. Even with binoculars, she was maybe 2 cm tall.  And the big screens they had to be able to see the show in the cheap seats weren’t really all that big – you could see what was happening, but the screens should have been about three times the size that they were.  I also wasn’t overly impressed with the choreography – the dancing seemed really repetitive and there was an inordinate amount of time where Madonna looked like she was using a thighmaster, just without the thighmaster.

All of this, of course, did not prevent us from dancing and singing along for the whole two hours.

To add to the excitement, before the show even started, I had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction.  As I was sitting there, not doing anything at all, the seam on the left side of my top split completely open.  And I mean *completely*:

I guess sewing up the slight tear on the right side was sort of like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.  Who knew a cheap ass costume would self-destruct on the 3rd wearing?

¹Dancing shoes not shown.
²As did a co-worker of mine who also went to the show.

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