Hair Products I Just Don’t Understand

While looking for some hair product at the drug store – my new stylist was teaching me things I can try with my hair at my last visit to her – I came across some products that I just don’t understand.  And, of course, I photographed them to show them to y’all.

First up:

“Dirty Clean” gives you that “day after” effect.  Because apparently greasy hair is in now?  Why would you go through the hassle of washing your hair only to put some stuff in it to make it look like you didn’t wash it?  Wouldn’t it be easier to, say, just not wash it?

Similarly:

You can spray salt water in your hair to make it look like you’ve “spent the day at the beach.”  I don’t know about you, but my hair looks like total crap after a day at the beach.  I went surfing one time and it took three people to get the knots out of my hair thanks to the salt water.  So I think I’ll take a pass on this product.

And finally:

Ignoring the fact that playing on fat phobia with respect to hair is just too much, why the scare quotes around the “0” in “0 Calories”?

7 Replies to “Hair Products I Just Don’t Understand”

  1. I just saw that Dirty Clean product the other day in Shoppers (which is where you obviously saw it too *grin*). My guess is (a) they figure if they can get people to buy something to do what time will do, that's a good thing (for them), (b) what if you haven't washed your hair in a while but after you want the "next day" look? and (c) people are just frickin' idiotic and will buy anything.

    As for the scare quotes around zero in the Fat Hair (moronic) product copy, maybe they're ironic quotes rather than scare ones?

    In related news, I love how the French for "layered look" translates (literally, at least) to "degraded look." Maybe it's the hair product they used in "There's Something About Mary?" 😛

  2. Perhaps they should rename that DirtyClean as something a little more literal, such as 'Walk of Shame Hair' or 'Just Boned'. Of course, there's already a line of products called Bedhead, so I guess this is along the same lines.

  3. The DIrtyClean is for people like me, with really fine hair that doesn't do anything unless it's greasy. But I hate the way it looks greasy (I mean, it looks greasy, and who wants that?). So, the product gives your hair the ability to do more than look pathetic, but your hair is still clean!

    1. So, is it just like any other kind of hair putty then? Because my hair is pretty thin too and I often use some kind of product to make it do stuff (right now I'm using a product with the stupid name of "Fibre'holic" – which makes me think it should have something to do with roughage).

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