Not To Be Trusted With Knives

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The Spider Conspiracy – An Update

I got into my car this morning and started driving to work. And then some movement near the driver’s side visor caught my attention.  Can you guess what it was?  That’s right, it was a freaking *spider*!  A horrible little yellow and black striped one, soulless and vile!  Thankfully, my dad always taught me to take extra napkins from fast food joints and keep them in the glove compartment1, so I was able to pull over, jump out of the car armed with a napkin and then carefully reach in and squash the little bugger to death.

Then, when I got home from work, guess what was hanging from my freaking front door handle?  A big stupid black 8-legged beast! Gah!

All this, of course, just proves that there really is a spider conspiracy going on.  I mean, no sooner did I reveal this spider conspiracy on my blog and they sent not just one, but two assassins after me.

I’m kind of afraid to go to sleep tonight.

  1. has anyone *ever* kept actual gloves in the glove compartment of their car? []

7 Responses to The Spider Conspiracy – An Update

  1. Kalev Hunt says:

    Oh Beth, if you had to live where I live…

  2. Beth says:

    I don’t even want to think about that!

  3. I think the name “glove compartment” is from the time before cars had roofs, or even of horses and buggies, when you needed to keep gloves in your vehicle and out of the elements.

  4. extragoode says:

    I may be in the minority, but I have indeed kept gloves in my glove compartment amongst other things, obviously. I hereby start a movement to refer to it as the manual and registration compartment since that ‘s about the only thing anybody actually uses it for.

  5. Erika says:

    Beth, when I worked at the tree farm, they released baby spiders as insecticides to eat the aphids etc. You would have died. There were millions and millions of them. We’d break for lunch and baby spiders would be hanging from our ear lobes making webs!

  6. You should meet my friend Kyrsten. She’s had 2 separate spider bites get infected in the last year. And also a bot fly.

    In other news: http://verydemotivational.com/2010/06/22/demotivational-posters-a-flamethrower/

    (commenter bears no responsibility for nightmares suffered as a result of clicking this link)

  7. Beth says:

    @extragoode – I’d have to call mine a “registration and napkins from fast food joints compartment” – the Smart car’s “glove” compartment is too small to fit the manual! Instead, it’s in a plastic pouch that is attached behind the driver’s seat with velcro.

    @Erika – omg, that sounds like my worst nightmare! It’s giving me the heebee jeebees just *thinking* about it!!

    @Cath – I’m not clicking that link!! In my undergrad Zoology class, I opted to skip the chapter on arachnids, as well as hiding my eyes during the related lecture slides. I figured whatever marks were allotted to those horrible monsters on my exams were worth sacrificing to not have to look at picture of them!

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